


Arrhythmia (You make my heart flutter)

by cielmelodies



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Depression, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Medical Procedures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-10-16 17:10:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 64,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10575774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cielmelodies/pseuds/cielmelodies
Summary: It never occurred to Jun that he might have been pushing himself too hard, but when it came down to it... who was he doing it for?The story of an over-achiever who thought he could, a meddlesome doctor, and their odd gang of friends.Featuring Psychologist Aiba, PhotographyMajor Roommate!Nino and AcademicAdvisor Ohno.Chapter 11 may contain sensitive material, and chapter 13 contains explicit scenes.





	1. Spring Semester, June

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted on Dreamwidth. 
> 
> The wonderful [eggrater](https://twitter.com/eggrater/status/937198258937503744) made a fic graphic for Arrhythmia and I'm forever grateful *hugs*.
> 
>   
> 

Bored. Sakurai Sho, 29, MD, aspiring emergency medicine specialist, was bored.

As a doctor, he should be glad that there were very little patients in the A&E tonight – only a drunk student who broke his toe when he decided that kicking a lamp-post was a good idea, and a girl who accidentally fell off her bike and dislocated her elbow. The lesser the patients meant a better state of health (or at least, lesser stupidity, in the case of the broken toe, Sho thought), and it meant less excitement in the A&E. However... lesser excitement in the A&E: even a little excitement would break the mundane-ness just a bit. Even if it was 2 a.m. in the evening and he really wanted some sleep.

Tapping impatiently marble countertop of the reception desk, Sho shot a tired smile at the nurse-in-duty, Mizuhara Kiko.

“Long day, Sakurai-sensei?” She asked with a knowingly smile, organizing the clipboards neatly on the desk.

Sho pursed his lips, exhaling loudly. “I did tell you to call me Sho, Mizuhara-san.”

“Only if you call me Kiko, Sakurai-sensei.” She smirked. “Anyway, we are at wor— oh my.” She pauses, standing up in great haste. Seeing the great concern in her expression, Sho quickly traced her line of sight, eyes widening at the sight of two men – likely university students given from the university emblem imprinted on their hoodies – stumbling into the A&E. Seeing the blood-soaked towel pressed onto one of the man’s head, and his stance clearly being half-dragged across the floor, Sho raced over to the two.

“I’ll handle it. Prepare Triage 3. Looks like a head injury, can you check and see if radiology is open if necessary.” Sho fired off instructions, eyes quickly skimming the injured man. _Head wound, hard to tell severity with the amount of blood, but_ _patient_ _is clearly conscious, although he appears to be supported by someone._

“Gentlemen, I’m Dr. Sakurai Sho, could you tell me your names and what happened?” Keeping his tone friendly but brisk, Sho firmly grabbed the injured man’s elbow and guided the two in the direction of the triage. If it were a typical busy day, they wouldn’t be doing this, with Sho directly escorting them to the triage, but given that it was an empty evening…

He nearly stumbles when he meets great resistance, and then he hears, “I don’t need to be here, I don’t want to be here, Nino!”

Well, so his friend is called Nino, then. And this patient was this sort of patient. Sho sighed. He was hoping for excitement, and he was going to get some.

“Shut up, Jun-pon. We’re already here anyway.” Nino leaned forward to peek over at Sho, face fairly calm but eyes bright with concern, if Sho had to guess. “The idiot here is Matsumoto Jun, Sakurai-sensei. He can be stubborn, but please take care of him. He passed out and hit his head on the edge of a table.”

Ignoring the hissy “You tattletale!”, Sho nodded in acknowledgment, shooting a sharp nod at Kiko when she held the curtain to the side for the two to deposit Matsumoto directly on the triage bed. He barely registered Kiko leaving to contact radiology, head tilting to this side to assess him quickly. It was hard to gauge if there was any head trauma with all the blood, so that would be his first priority, but judging from the alert glare that Matsumoto was throwing his friend, it seemed like he was in the clear.

(For now, that is – Sho have heard and experienced enough cases of people hitting their head and stubbornly insisting they were fine, only to fall into a coma days later from an undetected cerebral hematoma; head injuries are head injuries, which are always tricky.)

“Sakurai-sensei, I’m sorry to take up your time, but this isn’t necessary.” Matsumoto protested when Sho put on gloves and started to pull the blood-soaked towel away from his forehead. “Nino was just being overprotective. It’s just a cut, really.”

“I rather determine that for myself, Matsumoto-san. Head wounds are very tricky – I think it is a good thing your friend decided to bring you here.” Sho insisted, hissing sympathetically when the cut was revealed. It wasn’t very deep, but was wide enough to inform him that the hit must have hurt. “Nino-san, was it? You mentioned Matsumoto-san passed out. Did he stay unconscious after he hit his head?”

“For at least ten minutes. I’m his room-mate. We were talking across our rooms when he went quiet and I heard a crash. When I went to check on him, he was on the ground with that bloody cut. He had been complaining of headaches recently.”

In front of him, Jun fidgeted uncomfortably as Sho wiped away the dried blood with a sterile alcohol wipe and skilfully applied a line of butterfly stiches across the wound, once he verified that it had stopped bleeding. “I’m right here.”

“I have to be certain, Matsumoto-san.” With the cut settled, Sho only had to check for risk of head trauma, and the typical check-up routine. Removing his gloves and throwing the stained wipes into the steel kidney bowl on the tray, he grabbed the clipboard left on the table to make some quick notes. “You look a bit pale. Have you been experiencing dizziness recently? Or any bouts of fainting?” He queried, then looked up.

And found himself being suddenly stunned at how _pretty_ his patient looked in front of him, with all the blood properly gone now, despite the cut marring Matsumoto’s forehead, as well as the dark circles beneath his eyes. (The plight of university students. Oh how Sho remembers those days.) He had the strongest pair of eyebrows Sho has ever seen, but it only accentuated his masculinity and complemented his eyes – so large and dark. Oh and his lips...

“No—“

“Don’t listen to him, Sensei. I’ve caught him stumbling and catching his balance in our room several times last week. He doesn’t know when to take a break.”

Nino’s sharp voice drew Sho out of his thoughts. Mentally berating himself for getting distracted, Sho hastily fished his penlight from his pocket, trying to hide unprofessional thoughts. “That’s very concerning, Matsumoto-san. It may be a sign of a larger problem.”

Sho had to refrain from outwardly wincing when the cold glare shifted to direct at him instead. Stubborn patients. Sho was afraid of them, if he were honest, because they were so incredibly hard to deal with.

“I’m fine!”

“Just let him check on you, for the love of all things holy.” Nino hissed at Jun. “You look like you haven’t gotten any sleep in ages.”

Sho shifted uncomfortably between the two. Well. This was fairly awkward.

“Says the person who can barely take care of himself.” Matsumoto snapped angrily, “You know what,” he stood up.

Sho quickly stood up from his seat in a rush, extending a hand to grab his wrist. “Woah there, wait a moment now. You really shouldn’t be—“

“I’m going!” Matsumoto wrenched his wrist away from Sho’s grip with a great intention to leave.

He didn’t manage five steps.

“Jun!” Nino sharply cried out as Jun’s knees buckled under him. Sho’s trained reflexes allowed him to quickly catch the man and brace his head before it met the ground, lowering him safely onto the ground.

Sho knelt next to him and carefully braced Matsumoto’s neck with his arm, the other swiftly grabbing his wrist to check his pulse. It was rapid and irregular. “Matsumoto-san? Can you hear me?” His head lolled against Sho’s arm, eyes fluttering shut. Breathing was fine, but the man was very pale. Given the symptoms and Nino’s arguments, Sho had a suspicion that this was more of a case of negligence of health, more than anything.

The curtains ruffled noisily; “Doctor? Is everything alright?” Sho registered a sharp intake of breath. Kiko had came to check in on them, probably having heard the commotion in the room.

“Glucometer, if you could, Mizuhara-san. And perhaps start a line? Basic dextrose and fluids.”

She rushed off to the cabinet to grab the glucometer kit and handed it to him, before quickly skirting away to prepare the IV. Sho grabbed the sterile lancet and lightly pricked Matsumoto’s finger, slipping the new test strip into the instrument. When the screen lit up, he squeezed a small drop of blood from the finger and lightly pressed it against the test strip.

A few seconds later, it flashed a 52. As suspected.

“Would you like to help me with Matsumoto-san to the bed, Nino-san?” He asked, abandoning the glucometer on the floor to bring the unconscious man’s arm over his shoulder, carefully standing up. The stunned roommate nodded and quickly helped him with the other side, the two quickly managing to lower him back on the examination bed. Nino stood awkwardly on the side as Sho rapidly tied a tourqinet, sterilized the vein and swiftly inserted the prepared IV catheter, having done it hundreds to thousands of times. Accepting the smelling salts from Kiko, he carefully waved it faintly under Jun’s nose, fanning it lightly.

Within a few seconds, Jun’s eyes fluttered back open, although face still gray. He moaned, “W-what?”

Sho kept the hand with the IV catheter pressed down with his own hand, the other one hand checking Jun’s pupils for any signs of confusion. “You passed out, Matsumoto-san. Your blood sugar level was very low, so I’ve just put you on basic sugar and fluids drip. Does anything hurt?”

He whimpered. “I’m really dizzy.”

“I suspect your fainting episode today was from the hypoglycemia. The IV should make you feel better in a while. When did you last eat?”

“...”

“Jun?” This time, it was Nino who asked, voice suspicious.

“I don’t really remember.” His voice was ashamed. “I was really busy today.”

Nino cursed, and Sho shot him a warning look, which Nino promptly ignored. “You’re always busy! That doesn’t mean you should forget about eating, you stupid idiot.”

“Nino-san.” Sho warned, not liking the tone. Next to him, he could hear Matsumoto’s breath hitching at the reprimand. While he didn’t like the sound of him forgetting to eat, it was still unkind to say that to a patient or friend. Turning back to him, Sho checked to see if the drip was flowing well before releasing his arm, patting the hand lightly. “I’d like to keep you here overnight, Matsumoto-san. It’ll let me watch you for any potential problems from your fall.”

Expecting the protest, Sho raised his hand to halt the oncoming argument. “If you insist that you cannot stay here overnight, then I’d like to request for you to stay here until you finish this and another round of IV fluids, and spend at least the next two days resting in bed. With proper meals. No work.”

“I have a meeting with my academic advisor tomorrow evening!”

Sho had to stop himself from face-palming at the response. Matsumoto sounds so very much like him when Sho was studying in med school, he wasn’t sure if he should be amused or concerned. People like Matsumoto Jun... hard workers, but don’t know their limits. Well, nevertheless. Sho was hardly going to let him neglect his health like that.

“I think your advisor would understand if you were ill, Matsumoto-san.”

“Please just call me Jun.” Matsumoto – well, now, Jun – blanched at the title, eyes flickering to the clock on the wall. “Look, this is my final year here; I need to get my portfolio completed, and I can’t just...”

A sharp cough interrupted their exchange. “Since I brought you here, I’ll tell Oh-chan that you can’t see him tomorrow, J.” Nino grinned at him. “I honestly don’t understand why you’re so panicked, honestly. We’re both in the same year and I’ve hardly started on my portfolio.”

Somehow, Sho felt like he was intruding in on a bickering episode. Although, the name ‘Oh-chan’ sounded vaguely familiar.

“That’s because you probably have a hidden stash of photos prepared for your portfolio already, you lazy ass.” Jun’s tone was bridging on annoyed exasperation. “Some people need to draw. And stop calling Ohno-Sensei Oh-chan. He’s my academic advisor, for goodness sake.”

Ohno-Sensei. Now, that name, Sho knew.

“He’s not my academic adv—“

Sho cleared his throat loudly; the conversation had been going on long enough, really. “If you are both referring to Ohno Satoshi, then your problem is solved, Jun-san. He’s a high school friend of mine whom I frequently have lunches with, and I’ll gladly vouch for your absence.”

Thinking about it, Ohno would hardly give a student any trouble for missing an advisor meeting, Sho thought amusedly. His patient was clearly a workaholic.

“But-“

“Jun-san. I know Ohno-sensei personally. I’m certain he wouldn’t mind. I insist. For your health.” Sho pressed, raising an eyebrow at Jun. Nino was sporting a very smug grin, and Sho wondered what relationship Ohno had with Nino, if he could call Ohno ‘Oh-chan’.

Jun released an unhappy sigh, lips pursed in an annoyed sulk. Sho found himself having to pull his eyes off them, and the mole under them – this man was really distracting, damn it. “If we have an agreement, then I’ll release you once my shift ends, Jun-san.” He glanced down at his wristwatch. “Which would be in four hours.”

“This stay isn’t necessary.”

“Given that you just passed out in front of me after procuring a head injury after passing out in front of your roommate, and that you’re still looking particularly grey, I think you should consider yourself lucky that I’m allowing you to return home in less than twelve hours, and not referring you to the neurology.” Turning to Kiko, Sho handed the updated clipboard over to the nurse. “Mizuhara-san will take you up to radiology for a CT, to eliminate any risk of bleeding, and then I’ll be back to check on you once that’s done and I’ve done my rounds.”

Upon hearing Kiko’s acknowledgment, Sho gave a quick nod to Nino and Jun, before quickly leaving the area. He was better than this, honestly – Sho wasn’t sure when or why he would be so affected by this man, but it had to stop. He had to be professional.

It was slightly concerning, nevertheless. It had been a while since Sho has met someone who reminded him of himself years ago, prior to the intervention his friends staged for him. He’ll have to keep an eye out – the last thing Sho wanted was for someone to end up like him, back then.


	2. Spring Semester, June

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will switch from Sho's POV to Jun's POV after the '---'.

Three hours later found Sho back in Triage 3, eyebrows raised at the sight of his patient sketching on a piece of paper. Jun was so engrossed in the sketching that he failed to notice Sho walking next to him to peer over his shoulder at the sketch.

“Wow.” Sho breathed out at the drawing. It was clearly a sketch for a costume, but it was so elaborately done, swirls and feathers drawn in great detail, shading impeccable. Despite it being a black and white drawing, Sho could imagine the texture of the fabric. Sho wondered if Jun really spent just three hours on it. In front of him, Jun jerked in surprise, nearly dropping the ballpoint pen in his hand when he realized Sho had been next to him. “That looks really good.”

Jun visibly flushed next to him, picking up the sketch and crunching it up in his hand, stunning the doctor “It’s not good enough.” Jun grumbled. Sho sputtered. “What on earth are you talking about?” He scrambled to rescue the crumpled sketch. “It’s amazing. Did you draw this in three hours?” Realizing what he just said, Sho threw a flat glance at Jun. “Didn’t I say no work? Or, let me guess, is this proof that you have no concussions whatsoever?’

Jun rolled his eyes. “You said no work for the next two days, after I’m discharged. I’ve yet to be discharged, therefore, I’m sketching. Which isn’t work.”

Sho felt his eye twitch at the nonchalant response. Flipping to the patient information page, filled out by Jun’s roommate, Sho shot Jun a flat smile. “Matsumoto Jun, 23, final year Visual and Music Design major in Keio University, specializing under entertainment design. Under the remarks, your roommate has added that ‘Keep Jun-pon,’” Sho had to stop himself from snorting at the handwriting – Nino had added multiple hearts in pencil next to the name, “‘away from papers and writing materials. Drawing equals work, exclamation mark, angry face. ‘”

Sho looked up at Jun with pleasant smile, noting the embarrassed flush upon his patient’s face.

It did make him look quite lovely.

“So,” Sho decided to change the topic – the embarrassment from being caught would be sufficient punishment. “just to check, you’re clear on the CT, but are you experiencing any forms of vision problems? Dark or greying spots, bright auras or whatsoever?”

Sho gently reaches forward to prod lightly around Jun’s head, watching his expression for sore spots.

“I’m fin-” Jun hisses when Sho briefly brushes along the edges of the cut.

“Sorry.” Sho murmurs, “anything else hurt?”

“Just a headache, but I’m sure it’s not related to the fall.”

Sho raised an eyebrow at the comment. “You are certain because?” Reaching into his coat pocket, Sho fished out an unopened packet of peanut butter sandwich and dropped it on Jun’s lap. “Eat that. A drip can only do so much if you haven’t eaten today.”

Jun looked up at him in surprise, opening the packet and biting into the sandwich with a soft ‘thank you’, Sho felt his chest warm at the response – it wasn’t really in his job scope to do this for his patients, but Sho doesn’t know what urged him to do so.

It might just have been the eighteen-hour shift he had just cleared. (But let’s be honest, he had done thirty-hour shifts before when he was still on his residency. Eighteen hours is nothing.)

Sho took a seat by the stool on the bed, tapping the railing of the bed impatiently with his pen. “You were saying? Your head hurts.”

“Sakurai-sensei, it’s really not important.”

“I’m in-charge of your health right now. I would not be doing my job if I’m not concerned with details such as this, Jun-san.”

It was easy to read the uneasiness on Jun’s face; Sho wondered if Jun was used ever used to others being concerned about his welfare. Given how awful the man was as a patient, Sho wouldn’t be surprised if the answer was no.

“I’ve had one for several days.” Jun must have seen the concern grow on Sho’s face, and quickly added. “It’s fine. Nino says it’s because I work too hard, but honestly, there’s really no time to waste.”

Sho clucked his tongue at the statement, reaching over to lightly tap Jun’s head with the clipboard. “Your roommate is right. It’s only June*. You still have a lot of time. From the sound of it, You’ve already made more progress than at least half your peers. Take it slow, Jun-san. You have more than half a year left to go.”

The words seemed to only add to Jun’s annoyance. “The entertainment business is competitive, Sakurai-sensei. No one who looks for work right after graduation gets a job.”

Acknowledging that trying to argue otherwise now, when Sho was still effectively an acquaintance, was likely to be futile, the doctor merely raised his hands in surrender. “Just speaking from experience, Jun-san. Burning out mid-year would not be very good for you.”

“It’s not really your business, Sakurai-sensei.” Jun snapped, sharp eyes flickering to Sho.

... It was interesting how Jun’s stubbornness was not doing anything to deter Sho’s unexplained fascination with the man. If anything, it only made Sho even more interested in helping Jun.

“Fair enough.” Sho tilted his head. “Finish that sandwich up, would you? I’ll discharge you in a bit. I take it as your roommate isn’t coming by to pick you up?”

If there’s anything Sho learned about interacting with people in the A&E, some stubborn patients are like injured cats. It’s easier to just change the topic to something more palatable than force it on them and risk getting clawed. The tactic seemed to work on Jun, who threw a slightly suspicious glance at Sho but proceeded to take the last few bites of the sandwich in his hand, shoulders relaxing slightly.

“He has work later today, so he went home to sleep.”

Sho hummed, setting up the necessary equipment on the tray next to him while waiting for Jun to finish the remaining sandwich. Once Jun had finished eating, Sho reached over to clamp the IV, slipping on a fresh set of gloves.

“Rest your arm on the bed, please.” Sho did a swift removal of the catheter, dressing the puncture mark tightly before dropping the needle into the nearby sharps bin. “And you’re set. Do you have any remaining dizziness?”

“I’m good, thanks.”

Despite Jun’s answer, Sho kept a close eye on Jun as the younger man stood up, watching for any signs of him fainting again. The IV and sandwich clearly worked as it should, and Jun nodded his thanks once again. “Thank you, sensei.”

“If you’d let me, Jun-san, you’re the last person on my rounds today, so I’m done for the day. Since I’m discharging you far earlier than I should, I was wondering if you’d allow me to drive you back to your place.” At the slightly alarmed and skeptical look, Sho quickly added, “I promise that I have no dubious intentions. Usually, we aren’t allowed to let patients just leave unaccompanied.”

“Quoting hospital protocol at me really doesn’t make me any less suspicious of you.” Jun narrowed his eyes. “Why are you being very nice to me?”

Sho shrugged. “It’s true I wouldn’t do this for most people, but... I remember being in your position, final year student and all. I would like to make your life slightly easier. Although...” he tapped lightly on the medical clipboard, “I’d sincerely request that you take it easy for the next two days. Eat properly. Get enough sleep. And most importantly, no caffeine.”

The look of horror writ upon Jun’s face on the mention of no caffeine was enough to draw laughter from Sho, who shot him a slightly sadistic grin in return. “That’s right. None whatsoever.”

“You wouldn’t know.”

Sho’s grin widened further. “I’ve also messaged Ohno-sensei to excuse your presence from tomorrow’s meeting. Luckily for you, he was up finishing up a piece for his next exhibition. While it is true that I wouldn’t know, your advisor knows your room-mate and promised that Nino-san would remove the caffeine from your apartment.”

‘Knows’ is an understatement, if Sho were to be honest, for the reply text message he received from Ohno went along the lines of:

 **“Ok. I’ll tell Kazu to remove coffee. Jun won’t be** **happy** **though** **. Tell him to get more rest. He works too hard.”**

Sho wondered what sort of relationship they had if Ohno could call Jun’s roommate by a separate nickname. Well, he could ponder about that later. For now, Sho found the sight of a glaring Jun both terrifying and amusing.

Well, maybe more terrifying than amusing.

“I can’t believe you messaged Ohno-Sensei! That’s none of your business!”

Sho tilted his head. “Contrary to your belief, Jun-san, your health is my business. Would you have heeded medical advice if I didn’t do so?” At the blossoming faint blush, Sho smirked. “I don’t think so.”

Jun looked away in an angry sound, muttering what sounded vaguely like “meddlesome doctor”. In retrospect, it was true that Sho was meddling in Jun’s affairs far more than necessary; however, he honestly couldn’t help himself – it was hard to remain detached from the stunning man, moreover, Jun reminded Sho so much of his past self, it would be wasteful if he remained on his self-destructive behaviour.

Sho was fortunate enough to have had Ohno and Masaki to take care of him and tell him he was an idiot six years ago. If it weren’t for them, he wouldn’t be where he was now. That being said, if he could, he would try to help Jun as well. Sho really respected people who took their futures seriously, but self-negligence during the pursuit of success... he rather not see anyone fall into that pitfall.

Xx _“Sho-chan, won’t you come out for a bit? And maybe have some dinner?”_ _“For the millionth time, I told you I’m busy!”_ _“You haven’t left your room since morning, Sho-chan. At least eat something. I can bring something up for you, instead.”_ _“The clinical tests are in two months, I do not have time for this.”_ _“Sho-chan...”_ _“Just leave me alone, Aiba, for Christ’s sake!”_ Xx

“Well then,” Sho met Jun’s cold stare with a warm smile, “shall we head out then? I’ll drive you back.”

\-- “Ah! You’re back.” Nino cheerfully called out when Jun walked in the door. From the genkan, Jun could clearly see Nino curled up next to the floor table, DS in hand. “Early. You look pissed. Are you feeling better?”

Jun ignored the question and marched straight to their kitchen, rifling through the cabinets. When he couldn’t find what he was looking for, he immediately turned to stare at Nino with narrowed eyes. “Where is it?”

“Where is what?” Nino continued to play his game, eyes unmoving from the bright screen.

Jun hissed (much like an angry cat, actually), and pointed at the emptied cabinet where his special coffee stash used to be at. “My coffee!”

Nino paused the game and lazily looked up at Jun with that infuriating gummy smile of his. “Doctor’s orders, wasn’t it?” Nino chuckled at the glare shot at him. “Relax, Jun-pon. It’s simply hidden away. It’ll be back in forty-eight hours. For now, won’t you just take a chill pill and get some rest? You look like shit.”

“I can just go get caffeine outside, you know that right, Nino?”

He was replied with a lazy wave. “And force yourself to drink that coffee you always describe as sewer water? Highly unlikely.”

Jun pursed his lips – this was what he gets for having a sharp roommate. As lazy as Nino appeared to be, he was always very observant. Of course, he would know that Jun was just trying to trick him into returning his coffee. Letting out an angry sigh, Jun crossed his arms and huffed, “so what else did you hide? My laptop? Drawing board?”

“No. I’m under the impression that once you fall into bed you’re going to fall asleep from that headache of yours and stay asleep now that you don’t have caffeine.” Concern flickered in Nino’s eyes momentarily. “Oh-chan says to not worry about the advisor meeting. You didn’t really need one this early on, apparently.”

Figuring that it was a lost cause trying to convince Nino to return his coffee, Jun dropped heavily next to the photography major, noting with pleasant surprise, the presence of a glass of water and painkiller on the table, as well as his glasses.

Nino was kind, Jun noted with slight guilt. Despite Nino’s brattiness and Jun’s coldness towards his room-mate, the gamer was always looking out for him. Taking the painkiller offered, Jun rested his head in his arms and poked Nino’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t be calling Ohno-sensei ‘Oh-chan’ in public. People would suspect your relationship, you know.”

“He isn’t my academic advisor. There’s nothing illegal about our relationship. Not to mention, he wouldn’t even sleep with me until I graduate, so there’s nothing scandalous about us, anyway.” The last bit was said in an annoyed whine, to which Jun smiled at.

“At least one person in the relationship is being smart about it, at least.” Jun felt himself relax. Talking to Nino had always calmed him, but it was difficult to find time to talk to his roommate when they kept different hours and Jun was busy on working on his final year portfolio. Maybe taking a break for a day wouldn’t be too bad, as much as Jun hated to admit it.

Nino worked from late afternoon to midnight in the music bar near campus, which is where he met Jun’s academic advisor, coincidentally, two years ago– Jun wasn’t there when they had met, but according to Nino, he had found Ohno-sensei happily drunk and decided to help him back to his apartment. Given Nino’s proclivity to keep to himself unless there was something in it for him, Jun always doubted the accuracy of the story; However, given that Ohno-sensei had never mentioned it, Jun decided to give Nino the benefit of the doubt.

“We’ve been together for over a year already. We’re going to graduate in several months, I don’t understand why he won’t fuck me. It’s not like our make-out sessions aren’t great, but I’m impatient, you know?”

Jun blanched at the statement. “As happy as I am to hear that you hear about your love life, I rather not know about you and Ohno-sensei sucking tongue.” The painkiller was kicking in, and Jun felt progressively sleepier, given his sleepless night.

He wondered if Sakurai-sensei had arrived home, as well.

... Jun had to shake his head lightly at the thought. There was no reason why he’d be interested in the meddlesome doctor. The meddlesome, but admittedly, handsome doctor. Jun could easily whip a costume up for that man. Maybe something red to complement his lips.

“Jun? Are you alright?”

Nino had put his DS down to look at Jun with concern. Jun jerked up, rubbing his tired eyes. Perhaps he'd better sleep if he was thinking of such things.

Jun grabbed his glasses and stood up. “Just tired. I think I’ll go to bed.”

“Alright.” Jun felt the gamer’s eyes track his motions as he moved towards his room. When he opened his door, he couldn’t help the sigh of relief when he saw that his desk was untouched, as promised, with only his sketchbook opened and markers scattered on the ground from where he had passed out in the (very early) morning. Feeling his eyes slipping shut, Jun simply dropped on his bed and tugged his pillow over his face. He’ll clean it up when he wakes up.


	3. Spring Semester, June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Jun's POV

 

Upon waking up from the sleep that dragged on for, amazingly, over sixteen hours without an alarm to wake him up, Jun finds himself with a killer headache that make him regrets waking up in the first place. Groping his bedside table for his glasses, he found a glass of water and another set of painkillers right next to his glasses, with a note saying: ‘Drink me! :)”

_Nino._ Jun thought with a grateful sigh.

  
A quick glance at his phone informed him that it was close to midnight, which meant that Nino was due to be home soon.

  
Speaking of the devil... Jun heard the front door open from his room.

  
“Well, looks like sleeping beauty is awake.” Nino drawled as Jun re-entered their kitchen-slash-living room. “Good evening. Tonkotsu, shoyu, or miso ramen for dinner?” He offered, gesturing to the line-up of cup noodles on their kitchen counter while cheerfully taking out two eggs, a chunk for store-bought of Cha Shu and a sprig of spring onion from the fridge and placing them onto the cutting board.

  
Jun wordlessly grabbed the miso ramen cup and set the water to boil in the kettle, while Nino began quickly slicing the ingredients. It was routine to them, despite Jun despising instant food.

  
In the first year of university, Jun lived in the dormitory on campus, as with most of the first years… and he hated it. Being part of the design programme, the first two years of university were spent in studio modules that meant coming back to dorms half asleep and hungry at obscene hours of the night. However, he would be met with freshmen partying and making such a racket, Jun would want to strangle them.

And then he met Nino in Art History class. Nino, who disliked his dorm room because he could only bring his handheld gaming consoles and not fit in a television due to electricity requirements. By the end of the year, they had decided to share an apartment together to cut costs, in which Jun settles the gas bill given that he cooks most often (Nino, scrawny person he is, prefers instant food, but Jun would end up cooking for him if their schedules coincided), and Nino the electricity bill, given that he is often gaming on his free time. Grocery, water bill and rent were split into two, and between their part time jobs - Jun as an assistant in Ohno-sensei’s art gallery on weekend afternoons and Nino as the musician in said music cafe on campus - they lived contently with each other.

No partying, for one. The perks of rooming with a hikikomori.

  
Back to the food, studio modules in Jun’s first two years coincided with Nino’s part time days; this meant that they would end up being home and awake near midnight. Initially, Nino had just prepared instant noodles for dinner, and Jun would balk at the sheer level of unhealthiness the photography major put upon himself. While Jun was equally tired and not up to cooking something up from scratch, the prospect of consuming a cupful of MSG and carbs and nothing else did not sit well with him.

  
Cue this routine being invented (or negotiated by Jun): they'd always have easy to add ingredients in the fridge to add to their cup noodles, one would prepare them (wouldn't take too long as they only have to be sliced) and the other would set the kettle, pour in the seasonings and crack in the eggs.

  
Jun doesn't tell Nino that he prefers doing the latter as he adds only just over half the seasoning packet for their respective noodles because too much sodium can't be healthy for them both.

  
“I saw your doctor today at the music cafe.” Nino eventually said between slurps of noodle. “I knew he looked slightly familiar. He comes in with Oh-chan once in a while, although we never officially met until yesterday.”

  
Jun froze mid-chew of the cha shu slice, before resuming slowly once again. He swallowed, then replied a short, “he isn't my doctor. He is a doctor, who works under Keio University Hospital.”

  
“He is hot though. And he totally likes you.” Nino smirked at Jun nearly dropping his chopsticks at the declaration. “He asked me if you were alright after the show. Gave me his card too, said if we ever need help, we can contact him.”

  
Nino made a quick rifle through his wallet to slide the card across the table in front of Jun. Jun made no move to grab it, choosing to read it from a distance

  
_Sakurai Sho. M.D. Keio University Hospital, Emergency Medicine._

  
Under the printed email and phone number, another phone number was scrawled - likely his personal number, if Jun had to guess.

  
“He does not like me. If anything, he, for whatever reason, enjoys poking his nose into my life.” Jun sniffed, recalling his coffee ban that was initiated via Sakurai-sensei’s text to his academic advisor, for Christ sake.

  
Nino waved his hand dismissively. “Sho-chan totally likes you. Did you not see the goggly eyes he was shooting at you at the hospital once he got all that blood off your face? I thought he wanted to eat you.”

  
“  _Sho-chan_?!”

  
“It’s his name.” Nino jabbed at the business card with his chopstick, tone sarcastic. “See. Sho. S-H-O. Sho-chan.”

  
Jun sputtered in an unglamourous fashion, still trying to wrap his head around Nino’s previous statement. “You can't keep giving everyone nicknames, Nino. You don't even know him.”

  
“Ah, but you see, he told me to call him Sho. Pretty cool. But you'd probably hate his sense of style.”

  
“This is coming from someone who wears T-shirts and only them.” Jun pointed out sullenly, feeling strangely annoyed that Nino managed to meet the doctor outside of work, while he didn't. No, instead, he was dead asleep.

  
A socked foot inched up Jun’s calf, and Nino threw him that infuriating smile of his again. “Be careful, Jun-pon. One would think that you are jealous.” At the glare, Nino leisurely continued, “Two words. Fake. Jeans.”

  
Jun twitched. Despite being an entertainment design major, most of Jun’s strengths leant towards costume design and event coordination, which was why the thought of those tacky, blasphemous jersey sweatpants with denim printed on them...Jun twitched again. Maybe it was best he didn’t think Sakurai-sensei as anymore than a prospective acquaintance. Jun was half certain that it might just end up in him dragging the doctor to buy a new wardrobe, if fake jeans was what Sakurai-sensei wore on his day offs.

  
Jun mentally hit himself. No thinking about the doctor, no matter how hot he may be.

  
A quick glance at Nino’s smirking face informed Jun that his room-mate knew exactly what he was thinking.

  
“I’m going back to sleep.” Jun mumbled. He was by no means up for snarking with Nino, not with his headache and tiredness. Perhaps it would be a good idea to follow doctor’s orders and give himself a two day break.

  
Just two days though. Exactly two. First of all, he needs to clean up the mess in his room. And then sleep.

  
xxx

_Aiba Masaki MD, Clinical Psychology; Keio University Hospital | Counselor, Keio University Student Commons._

  
“What is this for, Ohno-sensei?” Jun held onto the card with great confusion, looking up at his advisor. It was Saturday evening, which meant it was the day Jun worked at Ohno’s art gallery, Freestyle, located just a few stops away from the Shibuya station at Naka-Meguro.

  
Ohno reached forward and tapped at the name. “Aiba-kun is one of my friends from high school, and he is currently a counselor working with the university. He’s known for having some… strange methods, but he is a very good person to talk to.”

  
“I hate to be rude, Ohno-sensei, but I don’t need to see a shrink.” Jun tried to keep the distaste from his voice, but the older man did not seemed piqued by the annoyance, simply cocking his head and smiling his small, gentle smile that Jun knew would knock most girls in his design module of their feet. Unfortunately for them, of course, Ohno-sensei was very much gay.

  
Well, to be honest, Jun wasn’t sure if he was gay or just Nino-sexual. Either way, he was unavailable. Nino had once drunk-admitted that he melts every time Ohno sensei throws him that same smile. Jun suspected that that was the reason why they have yet to sleep together - one look and that soft tone telling they have to wait and Nino’s a goner.

  
“Just a suggestion, Jun-kun. You seem a bit worn down lately, and a little bird informed me about your recent bout of self-neglect.”

Jun flushed at the reminder, especially when Ohno's eyes flickered to the bandaged cut on his forehead. “It won't happen again. I was a bit careless.”

  
“I certainly hope not, Jun-kun. You're one of the best students I’ve had in years-”

  
“Sensei, you’ve only been a professor here since I entered.”

  
“- and I’d hate to see you hurt yourself. I'm just concerned, Jun-kun.”

  
It's very difficult to be annoyed with Ohno-sensei, Jun thought, when he knew that his advisor was just trying to look out for him. It's the same with Nino, really. But it was hard to 'take it easy’ - it's not that Jun wanted to overwork, but Jun hated uncertainty, and being jobless after graduation is about as uncertain as it gets, especially for anyone in the entertainment business.

  
Jun could always go to the fashion industry, really, but no. He wants more than that, if he could. And he knows he can.

  
“I’m not going to break, Sensei.” Jun placated kindly.

  
He’s surprised when a strange expression entered Ohno’s eyes, something sad, and Ohno only presses the card more firmly into Jun's palm.

“That's what they all say, Jun-kun. Just consider it, alright? Don't think of Aiba-kun as a medical professional. He's really nice. More like a friend than a counselor.” And then he threw Jun his a puppy-eyed pout, and Jun groaned.

  
“Please don't use that on me, Sensei. It's very unbecoming of you.”

  
“But it works on Kazu every time when I want ki-”

  
Jun hurriedly grabbed the card and slipping into his organizer. He did not want to hear about the (mis)adventures of his room-mate and his academic advisor, nope. “I’ll think about it, Sensei.” Honestly, this couple that was Nino and Ohno was out to manipulate him into doing whatever they wanted him to do. One would think that they were the calm, lazy sort of couple, but no, they were a sneaky duo as well. Match made in heaven, out to manipulate the Jun into submission.

  
His academic advisor brightened instantly. “Great! I’ll tell Aiba-kun to expect you then. You know, I have lunches with him and Sho-kun, sometimes. Maybe you and Kazu can join, next time.”

  
Jun resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose with his fingers. He considered reasserting that he said he’ll 'consider it’, rather than 'do it’ (because honestly, he did not have time to waste talking to a counselor) but knowing Ohno-sensei, Jun was half certain he’d flip the whole thing around on his head, all over again. Although…  perhaps he could try to convince Aiba-sensei to convince the others that he had zero problems coping with his work, maybe that would make them stop.

  
Sighing deeply, Jun shot Ohno a look of exasperation. “Is this all that you wanted to talk to me about, Sensei?’

  
Ohno blinked, eyes blank before lighting up in what Jun perceived to be a sudden recollection of his initial task. “Ahh! There was something else!”

  
Jun waited patiently for him to continue, but when Ohno simply looked at him with great excitement, Jun coughed lightly, and prompted, “which...is?”

  
“Your placement for this summer’s industrial internship.”

  
That certainly got Jun’s attention - Keio, while having a decent variety of connections to design brands and companies, did not exactly have internship placements that allowed their entertainment design majors to directly interact with the entertainment industry, something Jun loathed and was afraid would interfere with his goal of working as an event coordinator for the entertainment business. Jun didn't just want to design costumes or manage lighting design; he wanted to do something big. Plan and execute concerts, make things happen that would play to the dreams of both entertainer and audience. That was what Jun wanted.

  
“I had some old contacts from an entertainment agency that I won't name yet and asked them if I could have a student of mine shadow then for the summer break...the details aren't settled yet, Jun, but it's a yes.”

  
There were no words that could describe Jun’s elation or excitement that very moment. Jun broke out in a wide grin, eyes lighting up in excitement. “You're serious?” At the lazy nod, Jun couldn't help but let out a squeak of excitement - this was exactly what he needed.

  
“It'll be a lot more taxing than typical internships, you understand that, Jun?”

  
“I’ll do it.” Jun couldn't help the excitement leaking from his voice as he grabbed onto Ohno’s hand. “Thank you, thank you.”

  
“As thanks, see Aiba-kun, won't you?” Ohno reached over to pat Jun’s head, before glancing at the clock in his studio. “Ah, I have a dinner appointment to go to now, do you mind closing up the gallery for me, Jun-kun?”

  
Jun shot him a crooked smile, still surfing on the excitement of having the internship of his dreams. “That's why you hired me, Ohno-sensei.”

  
“That's true.” Ohno cocked his head, and looked down at himself. “It's supposed to be a high school reunion dinner and I do have a change of clothes in my office… but do you suppose I could just wear this?”

  
By this, he referred to a T-shirt with Pikachu on it, covered in paint splatters, as well as linen drawstring pants that Jun was certain was comfortable for painting in (as with the shirt, given that that was what Ohno was working on a large art piece), but definitely unsuitable for a reunion dinner, artist or not.

  
Shooting him a flat look, Jun pointed in the direction of the back of the gallery, “No. Please change.”

  
Ohno pouted, nodding sullenly and walking into the backroom. Jun had to hold back a laugh at the childish sight, before turning to arrange the stack of artbooks on the bookshelves at the corner of the art gallery. Nino would have reacted the same way as well - perhaps they were suitable for each other.

  
_Ring…_ the soft ringing of the bell by the entrance alerted Jun to the presence of a visitor, and he spun around to quickly greet them.

  
“Welcome to Freestyl… Oh.”


	4. Spring Semester, June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Sho's POV.

_“Welcome to Freestyl… Oh.”_

“I’m looking for Ohno Sens-,” Sho looked up from putting on his watch, and nearly dropped the letter invitation for the reunion in his hand when he realized who he was addressing, and what said who looked like. Sho’s brain froze a little as he took in the sight of Matsumoto Jun, aka stubborn-patient-who-was-also-very-gorgeous-and-distracting, wearing glasses. Forget what the man was wearing - although that was also a very gorgeous, dark purple linen shirt, coupled with tight-fitting pants that left little for Sho’s imagination regarding the topic that was Jun’s legs – his glasses.

Sho _wants._ Oh he definitely, thoroughly, wants. Those glasses Jun was wearing – they only accentuated Jun’s eyes, which were already so large and framed them perfectly…

“…ke jeans.”

Sho jerked from his thoughts, realizing he had had been staring blanking at Jun for too long without saying anything. “Uh… pardon? Sorry, Jun-san, I didn’t catch that.”

Jun looked distinctively abashed about something, shaking his head rapidly at the question. “Nothing, just a slip of the tongue. If you’re looking for Ohno-sensei, he’s in the backroom changing. I could check on him and tell him you’re here, if you like.”

Sho hurriedly shook his hand – he rather took the opportunity to talk to Jun. “It’s alright. I don’t mind waiting. How are you? You look a bit better from when I saw you… what, five days ago? I met your roommate, Nino-san at night, he said you were out like a light.” His eyes naturally flickered up to Jun’s forehead, where the butterfly bandages had been replaced with a smaller bandage.

“I’m feeling much better, Sakurai-sensei. Thank you for your help. Nino mentioned that he met you, yes.” Jun was a light pink, and Sho couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“Please call me Sho. You’re not my patient anymore, Jun-san, and I rather you don’t have to be one ever again.” Sho looked around the art gallery, before looking back at Jun with a curious look, “I’ve never actually been in Leader’s gallery before…”

“Leader?” Jun’s voice was tinged amusement, and Sho couldn’t help but grin at the disbelief colouring Jun’s tone.

“We – me and Aiba-kun, used to call him Leader when we were in high school. It was just a gag, because we were put together for a group project and he lost to a game of janken to become leader.”

Jun snorted at that, before walking further into the gallery, where there was a bench. “Ohno-sensei will probably take a while – he was painting just now, so he’s probably trying to get the paint off his face and hands.” Jun gestured to the seat, “won’t you take a seat?”

Accepting the proffered seat, Sho patted the space next to him in invitation for Jun to join him. At the sight of Jun’s hesitation, Sho added, “I promise I’ll defend you if Leader thinks you’re slacking on the job. Scout’s honour.”

“You were never a scout.” Jun guessed with narrowed eyes, but took a seat anyway – Ohno was the last person to ever accuse a student of slacking off, moreover Jun, a workaholic if Sho had ever seen one (although it be fairly hypocritical if Sho said he wasn’t as bad).

“Guilty. But I would.”

Jun rolled his eyes at the response; sighing, Jun gestured at the displays around them. “You’ve never been in here, you said? Any of the pieces here interest you? I might as well do my job properly if you’re here waiting…”

Sho looked around, recognizing some of the pieces from long time ago, from years back when Ohno was still working in a studio most of the time and had yet to open his own gallery. “I recognize some of them, actually, but what I’d be interested in…I suppose, are any of the pieces here yours, Jun-san?”

Jun blinked at the question, seemingly taken aback at the request. “Well… no, I’m not as good as Ohno-sensei, Sho-san, so naturally, they wouldn’t be put up here.”

“I want to see them.” Sho pressed, but then faltered when he realized that it might be a rude request. “I mean, well, if you don’t mind. I’ve seen Leader’s works often enough, but I’ve only ever seen that sketch you made in the A&E, and I want to see more of what you do, actually.”

“Oh… well, none of them are really that good,” Jun looked up at the rainbow clock on the wall, hand-painted by the Ohno himself, and frowned. “I have them here with me in my laptop, but I think there isn’t any time for that.” Jun shot Sho a small smile, pushing his glasses up with a light blush colouring his face. “It’s really not that good, so you aren’t missing anything.”

“What’s not that good?” A third voice interrupted them, as Ohno joined in the conversation, having changed into a long-sleeved light blue collared shirt and vest. Jun made a satisfied hum as he gave his academic advisor a cursory glance, and Sho felt something in his chest shrivel – Jun hadn’t given him that response. Sho mentally reminded himself to not pout, attributing it to their still new acquaintance, but… “Oh, Sho-kun. You look good – doesn’t he, Jun-kun?”

“He does. Far better than you, Ohno-sensei.” Jun crossed his arms and tsked.

Sho hoped that he wasn’t visibly preening at the compliment.

Ohno pouted.

“But it’s a large improvement from your Pikachu T-shirt, so I’ll give you a B.” Jun placated. The pout deepened.

“I’m your sensei – why do I get a B? What does Sho-kun get?”

Sho chuckled at their exchange, but froze at the question. “Yes, what do I get?”

Jun bit his lip to repress a secretive smile, before promptly giving a clipped “A-.” as an answer. Ohno groaned as Sho cheered at the higher grade.

“Don’t do this, Jun-kun. Sho-kun’s never gotten anything beneath an A- during high school. You’re just feeding his ego.”

“My ego can be fed occasionally, thank you very much.” Sho defended, smiling at the grin their banter earns from Jun. “We’re also going to be late, Leader, if we don’t go in… five minutes.” Turning to Jun, Sho briskly took out his business card and pen, scribbling quickly on the back of it before handing it over to Jun. “I gave Nino-san my personal number when I met him, but here. We didn’t have any time today, but I’d really like to see your works, Jun-san, if you’d let me.”

Jun accepted the card with both hands. “It’s really not that good, Sho-san…”

“That’s a good idea, Jun. You should let him see it.” Ohno interjected. “You always ask me for feedback, but sometimes a fresh pair of eyes are a lot better than mine. And don’t put yourself down, your designs are excellent.”

Jun ducked his head at the words. Sho cleared his throat to earn Jun’s attention, and smiled gently. “Since Leader says so… why not, you text me, and maybe one day we’ll meet and you can show me your works. I really want to see it. I promise to give honest feedback. Scout’s honour.”

Thinking about it, the small smile the joke earned very much made Sho’s evening. Especially when Ohno and he were walking back to Sho’s car, and the art professor shot Sho a confused look. “You were never a scout, Sho-kun, weren’t you?”

Xxxxx  
Sho didn’t receive the text, to his unfortunate sorrow, in the next week. Instead, Sho found himself moping to Aiba during their Tuesday lunches together in the hospital cafeteria, Sho nursing a cup of coffee in his hand while Aiba is busy slurping through his home-made mapo-tofu ramen.

“He hasn't texted me yet.” Sho’s eyes were glued to the darkened screen of his phone. While he admits that there was no real reason or incentive for Jun to message him, or continue their acquaintance, Sho wanted to know more about him. Forget the man’s worrying workaholic tendencies (which Sho was still concerned with but simply watching - Ohno knows the signs as well as he does), Jun was an enigma to Sho, and Sho wanted to know more.

For one, for someone who appeared very confident and self-assured - for good reason, clearly, he was gorgeous, and don't get Sho started on the glasses - Sho noticed Jun seemed to have very little confidence in his own work. Even when Sho was in university, he had some confidence in his work, just that he didn't know how to stop. Not until Aiba and Ohno intervened, of course.

“Sho-chan. Hey, Shooooooo-chan. Sakurai. Sakurai sens- whoops.”

Sho jerked. Aiba had begun waving his used chopsticks in front of Sho's face to get his attention, but the chopsticks had slipped slightly to tap between Sho’s eyes.

“Aiba-chan!” Sho complained as he wiped the remnants of ramen soup from his forehead with a handkerchief. “That's unsanitary. What were you trying to do?”

Aiba shot him an apologetic grin, “Sorry, Sho-chan. You were pretty distracted. Very out of character.” He leaned in forward and gestured Sho closer, eyes twinkling with an expression Sho is very familiar with, as well as is afraid of. Sho let out a resigned sigh, braced himself something very Aiba to say, and leaned forward. Aiba cupped a hand over the side of his mouth and whispered, “is it guy trouble?”

Sho couldn't help but roll his eyes - honestly, he didn't make it a big deal to hide his sexuality from the rest of the department or staff, but he didn't announce it either, so really, only Aiba and a select group of his colleagues - the ones he was close with since medical school - knew he was gay. Aiba, however, found it extremely funny to see female nurses try to flirt with him, so he wanted as little people to know that Sho’s into men.

“Is it?” Aiba grinned. “You've been staring at your phone blankly and sighing and saying that 'he’ didn't text so…” he ticked off his fingers as he listed out Sho's actions. “Who is this mystery guy and is he hot?”

“Aiba-chan! Don't analyze me.”

Aiba raised his hands in a sign of sheepish surrender. “It's not an analysis if you're making it too obvious, Sho-chan. I think this half of the cafeteria are already aware that you're love sick, judging by all the disappointed looks of the female staff.”

Sho nearly spit out the coffee in his mouth at that statement, barely resisting the urge to look around to verify if what Aiba said was the truth. He felt his ears burn with slight embarrassment, to which Aiba caught instantly, of course.

Joys of being friends with a shrink. Oh what love.

“You're turning red! So, who is it? Is he hot? Do you have a picture? Can I see? Is he good in bed? Does he know you're awful in the kitchen?”

“Shhhhh.” Sho hissed furiously; his cheeks were definitely feeling very warm by now. “Someone, yes, no, therefore no, I wouldn't know and I wouldn't tell!”

“Is the ‘I wouldn't know and I wouldn't tell’ directed to 'Is he good in bed’ only or 'Is he good in bed’ and 'Does he know you're awful in kitchen’?”

Sho glared, and Aiba laughed. “I’m kidding, Sho-chan. At least tell me his name. You know his name right? This isn't you being a secret admirer and stalking him while he doesn't know your existence, which is why he isn't texting yo-”

“Of course not!”

“Then nameeeeee.” Aiba rested his head in his hands and widened his eyes. Sho faltered. He could never deny Aiba anything once he used those puppy eyes. He can't - he learnt it within the first year of them being friends in school, and then, Ohno learnt it, and Sho was fucked from then on. Sort of like now. Inhaling noisily in resign, Sho took a swig of his coffee, swallowed, then mumbled “Matsumoto Jun.”

“Atsumoto Un? That's a strange name, Sho-chan.”

“Matsumoto Jun.” Sho repeated.

“Eh? Matsumoto Jun like Matsumoto Jun, my three’o’clock appointment on next monday, Matsumoto Jun?”

Sho blinked, and had to fight the sudden influx of jealousy and sadness that his friends were seeing Jun more often than he was. Granted, he was the one who suggested to Ohno to direct Jun to Aiba, but still… “So basically he's meeting you and Leader always sees him, but he's not texting me.” Sho hoped that he wasn't pouting.

Aiba patted his shoulder in a consolatory gesture. “If it's any consolation, he was forced to do it. Apparently, his schedule was packed. So Leader just told him to take the slot where MatsuJun’s supposed to meet with him and meet with me instead. He sounds so busy.” His expression turned serious. “So, what am I looking for? You were the one to unofficially refer him to me, and you wouldn't do that unless you're very concerned so, what's happening?”

Sho always found this side of Aiba slightly terrifying: when his happy go lucky demeanor melts into serious Aiba, one that reminds Sho that there was a reason why Aiba graduated as one of the top students in his year, under his specialization of youth and adolescence clinical psychology. Strangely enough, he chose to stay and clear his clinical training at Keio, as well as volunteer with the Student Commons as a counselor, although Sho suspected he had something to do with it. He doesn't remember it as well as Aiba probably does, given that Aiba was his roommate throughout their university years, but Sho always felt guilty that he scared Aiba that year. Even when Aiba denies it, Sho knows.

He sighed. “I met him in the A&E. He had a head injury - just a large cut, but you know how tricky they are - from passing out in his room. Roommate had to drag him here, he tried to storm out, promptly passes out, apparently hadn't eaten all day because he was very busy. To sum it up…”

“He’s like you. Or what you were.” Aiba completed his sentence.

“Might be even more stubborn, I'm afraid.” Sho ran his palm down his face in frustration. “I've seen a sketch he produced in the three hours I had him at triage, it's amazing, and he just crumples it up and says it's not good enough. He has so much potential and drive, but I'm just concerned that if he pushes himself too much and no one intervenes, he's going to break.” sho shuddered at the thought of someone as bright as Jun shrinking from pressure. It's not that he had no faith in Jun, whatsoever, but Sho knew how easily one could get swept away in dreams and aspirations and then end up breaking from the pressure.

Aiba remained silent for a moment, eyes almost piercing into Sho… and then he relaxed. “Okay. I'll do my best. Sounds stubborn. Is he close to his roommate?”

Sho shrugged. “Seemed like it. Hey, did you know that Leader calls his roommate by his first name?” He grinned. “Seems like he's been keeping secrets from us.”

“What? Leader? How coincidental then, you can use that to your advantage to get closer to that dear patient of yours.” Aiba commented a little too loudly, and Sho found himself hurriedly shushing the giggling psychologist.

“Shhhhhhh. He's not my patient anymore! Shut up!” Sho wondered if telling Aiba was the best idea - now he'd never stop teasing Sho.

Xxxx  
Sho had no idea why he was here - standing in front of Ohno’s art gallery, again, for the second Saturday in a row. Although this time, he had nothing scheduled afterwards. He should have waited for a text from Jun, something to give him the green light that Jun was okay with them meeting again, that he didn’t mind them being friends, but instead, no, here Sho was, armed with nothing but the excuse of wanting to see Jun again.

Aiba was going to tease him mercilessly, again, when he found out. Especially with Sho acting like a thirteen year old, impatient to see his crush again. But Sho wanted to know more about Jun, and waiting like a helpless puppy for his owner to call or text him was not going to make that happen. No.

Steeling his nerves, Sho pushed the door open to Freestyle and stepped in, wincing at the chiming bells signalling his entrance. To his surprise, he was not greeted upon his entry, the door closing behind him into what it appeared to be an empty gallery.

“Hello?” Sho spoke out into the quiet room. Upon receiving no response, he turned back to check the sign by the door - it did say the gallery was open…

Suddenly overcome with worry that something had happened to Jun or Ohno, Sho briskly walked around the gallery. Upon finding no one, Sho frowned and headed over to the backroom, where he had seen Jun point to. The door was closed, but was unlocked when Sho twisted the knob. “Hello? Is everything ok…..ay?”

He stopped in his tracks, blushing instantly at the sight of Nino, straddling Ohno on a chair and very much wrecking - pleasurable, Sho was going to guess - havoc on Ohno’s neck. Sho blushed.

It certainly explained why there was no response whatsoever. They were both clearly very occupied. Sho considered backing out slowly and pretending he wasn’t even by.

“Sensei! Nino! What do you think you’re doing?” Jun’s voice came from behind Sho, causing the doctor to nearly jump from shock. The two lovebirds seemed fairly unsurprised by the commotion, Ohno only looking just slightly embarrassed from being caught, while Nino held the face of a cat who had gotten the cream.

Cream. Perhaps it would have been better if Sho hadn't used that metaphor. Not when he was talking about his old friend.

Sho shifted slightly to look wide-eyed between Jun, cradling a box in his arms, and the pair, catching the apologetic glance Jun threw at him. “I'm sorry you had to see that, Sho-san. I have no idea what these two were thinking,” he glared at the pair, “when they decided to leave the gallery unattended.”

“It's, um, okay. I'm sorry to disturb…?” Sho hoped his face wasn't as red as it felt.

Jun harrumphed and looked flatly at the pair. “You weren't disturbing. These two simply can't keep their hands off of each other, apparently. I thought I could rely on Ohno-Sensei to man his own gallery,” Ohno shrank just a bit, hiding his face behind Nino, “while I went out to get his boyfriend his birthday cake, but clearly, I couldn't.”

“Aw now, Jun-pon, no need to get so tetchy because I'm getting some-” Nino teased, standing up and pulling Ohno up with him.

“According to your whining, you aren't getting any until graduation, so don't call me tetchy.”

“Shhhhh!” Nino pouted. Sho couldn't help but laugh at what was unfolding in front of him. Well, at least Ohno wasn't violating any student-professor rules...Sho hoped. “It's my birthday, don't be mean.”

“Your birthday was last week. We're only celebrating it now because you've finally decided that you wanted cake.” Jun replied flatly, putting down a medium sized cake box on the only clean desk available in the room; the rest either held paintings, uncompleted sculptures, paints or art tools. Jun shot Sho a small smile at the end. “I'm sorry for the mess, Sho-san. But you know, backroom of an art gallery…”

“I understand. I visited Leader's apartment frequently enough during University.” Sho could easily see why Jun and Nino could leave together, especially with Jun taking no shit whatsoever from his roommate, and vice versa. “I assumed it’s in the nature of artists.”

This time it was Nino who interrupted. “You’d think so until you’ve seen Jun-pon’s work area. He doesn’t even let me enter within five feet of the area before threatening to stake me with a pencil.” Nino smirked, ignoring Jun’s slapping hands to swipe some icing off the small cake onto his finger. With an almost predatorial look in his eyes, Nino turned to face Ohno and sucked his finger hard, and being gay himself, Sho knew what was the intention of that action.

Ohno’s face remained its blank sleepy state, and Nino pouted, whilst Jun chuckled at his disappointment, slicing the cake into quarters with near-accurate precision. “Stop pouting and eat your cake.” Jun had placed the cake slices onto separate tissues and handing one slice to Sho, surprising the doctor. “Cake?”

Sho would never say no to cake. His face lighted up instantly as he accepted the cake with thanks to Jun (“Why is he thanking you for cake when it’s my birthday cake?” “I bought it, therefore, I get to decide to gets it. You both probably traumatized him enough with the lip-locking.”) His excitement increased when he realized it's not just any cake, but a strawberry shortcake with cheesecake at the base.

Before Sho could take a bite of his slice, Jun firmly guided him out of the room with a hand on his elbow. “You do not want to be there when they start. Ohno-sensei had been away for the past three days to guest lecture in Kyoto, and Nino has been antsy all week.” Sho simply nodded, reclaiming the seat on the same bench with Jun, and eyeing the cake slice with barely concealed glee.

Sho hadn’t had dessert in a while - he had no idea why, to be honest, but cake…

Sho took a small bite - he was going to savour this slice, and then he was going to buy himself another slice for dessert - and moaned at the taste. The strawberry and the cream… the sponge and then the melt-in-his-mouth-cheesecake; Sho is in heaven.

A snort and laugh from next to him reminded Sho that he had company. Sho felt the tips of his ears warm as he gave the amused Jun a sheepish look, his own slice untouched and still held in his hand, although Jun himself had a soft blush to his cheeks, one that made Sho tempted to touch.

_No, bad Sho._

“Sorry.” Sho cleared his throat, “It’s good, and I really like cake. And cheesecake.” He tried to maintain some decorum as Jun watched him take a bigger bite of the cake, but was unable to help himself as the flavour exploded in his mouth and he let out a pleased sigh.

“You must really like your cake.” Jun commented, finally taking a bite out of his own slice. “You’re right, it is good.”

“Isn’t it?” Sho finished the last third of the cake by shoving it straight into his mouth - rather unflatteringly, in retrospect, but Jun seemed only amused when Sho turned to face him with his cheeks still full of cake, Jun’s bottom lip worried between his teeth in what seemed to be him trying to repress his laughter. Sho’s eyes were immediately glued to the beauty mark that was revealed by the action, and it took a lot of will power for him to drag his eyes back up to Jun’s eyes...

...Which were equally gorgeous and framed by those glasses.

Sho hoped that he wasn’t visibly drooling. That would be extremely unflattering, even if he could attribute it to the cake.

“Sho-san?”

Sho hummed.

“You have some cream on your face.” Jun chuckled. “On your left.”

Sho automatically reached out with his tongue on the left to find said stray cream, but found nothing. Then he reached for the right.

“Stop, here.” Jun grabbed the dirtied tissue and folded it to find a clean corner with a hand, reaching forward to wipe at the said spot, which was fairly high on Sho’s left cheek. The doctor blushed at the contact, ducking his head slightly in thanks. “You really liked the cake, didn’t you? Wanted to save just a bit of cream left for afterwards?” Jun teased.

“I would have, perhaps, if you hadn’t wipe it off.” He fake-pouted, and watched as Jun’s grin broadened, taking a deliberate big bite of his own cake.

“Such a shame then. I’m not sorry.” The two shared a smile and sat in comfortable silence while Jun finished off his slice. “Well, actually, I’m sorry about not texting you, as promised. I have been busy with my last fashion design module, settling the design and getting supplies and my model just came down with pneumonia, so I’ve had to find someone as a replacement model and redo the design.”

Sho frowned, no wonder Jun looked so tired. “Can’t you just adjust the sizing of the current design for whoever your replacement model is?”

Jun shook his head. “I can’t do that. A great deal of the assessment grade is based on concept, and I don’t believe in force-fitting a concept image onto someone. It won’t take too long but only if I can find a model soon.”

“Nino-san?” Sho suggested. Jun raised his eyebrows at the suggestion.

“Nino’s about the biggest social recluse _(hikikomori)_ you’ll ever meet. I’ll have to bribe him if I even want him to put down his Nintendo 3DS for five minutes to take body measurements, moreover hours for him to wear the design for me to tailor it, not to mention...he _is_ my photographer.”

“Well, that is certainly a predicament.”

Jun sighed, tiredly rubbing his eyes. “And to think I had gotten all the red fabric as well. It’s a really hard colour to pair with any random person.”

“How about me?”


	5. Spring Semester, June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is in Jun's POV

Jun had to admit: the doctor did clean up very nicely. Extremely nicely, that day when they met in the art gallery for the first time. So nicely, that Jun forgot himself and literally spoke aloud, “those by all means, are not fake jeans.”

Thankfully, the doctor himself didn't catch that, because it would have been extremely embarrassing for Jun if he did. But honestly, that A- grade was an understatement. Jun could not see Sakurai-sensei, or well, Sho-san, as someone who would wear fake jeans or make terrible fashion decisions when he wore _that_. A very well-fitted black V-neck shirt with a red collared bomber jacket, paired with jeans that left nothing to Jun’s imagination.

Full marks.

Furthermore, the doctor looked good in red.

It certainly didn't help either that Sho showed interest in his work. Jun had never genuinely met someone who had even a smidgen of interest in his work, and the very prospect made him a bit embarrassed, in a good way.

Which was why Jun had considered to text Sho, as promised, except for the whole fiasco that was his model calling him and telling Jun that he can't make it for the fitting because he’s stuck in bed from an awful bout of pneumonia… or that was what Jun managed to make out amidst the coughing and sniffing. Either way, Jun needed a new model, and with most the junior’s finals starting in mid July, none were inclined to model for him.

All in all. Bad. Especially when it was due in just a little over three weeks. That meant that besides redrawing the design concept once he found a new model, Jun had that equivalent amount of time to produce the costume, have fittings, and then prepare the set for the photoshoot, inclusive photo-editing.

Oh how Jun loathed his design modules, especially when he had to scour for his own models AND when his working time had shrunk miraculously. Not to mention… he needed to do well in this module.

 _"How about me?”_ Sho asked. That one innocuous question sent Jun’s heart on a little tailspin, not because Jun had already established the fact that said doctor was _hot_ , but the fact that he was offering to help Jun with his coursework when clearly, he must be quite busy on his own…

He must certainly be too busy, in fact.

“Thank you for the offer, Sho-san, but…” Jun started, but faltered when he saw how quickly Sho deflated at the response. Jun hurriedly added to his statement, “not that I do not want to accept your help -  I’m most grateful for it, but, you must be really busy with your work.”

“I’m not!”

Jun started at the sudden eager response. Sho flushed lightly at his own outburst. “As in, I do have work, but I don’t mind helping you, Jun-san. If it’ll make your workload a lot easier.” He shot Jun a small smile, one that made Jun blush. “Perhaps you could tell me what you’d need from me, and I’m sure we can work out a way to make this possible. There isn’t a need for your model to be a student from the university, right? Does alumni count?”

Jun bit his lip distractedly. “Not a problem. It’ll work, I think. You look good in red, and I have the red fabric as needed… Stand up.” He ordered, gesturing for Sho to stand. The doctor obediently did so as Jun stood up, crossing his arms and walking around Sho in a circle, head cocked in thought.

“If you didn’t become a doctor, what would you have wanted to be, if you don’t mind me asking, Sho-san?”

“An idol.”

Jun stilled in his movement, eyebrows raised. Sho shrugged. “Ask Leader. He’ll tell you about it. Or maybe a newscaster, but then I ended up in medical school right after high school, and that was it.”

“Do you have any regrets?” Jun asked as he tilted Sho’s face upwards, just slightly with his fingers - he wondered how good Sho would look with cap, and if so, what kind. _Something that won’t hide his lips._

“None whatsoever. Maybe sometimes, but then I meet different people, special people, and I don’t.” The heat from Sho’s whispered words brushing Jun’s fingers suddenly alerted Jun of the closeness between the two, and how he had yet to move his hand from their gentle, guiding grip on the doctor’s chin. Jun jerked backwards, and felt his ears warm slightly as he mentally scolded himself for being so blushy around this doctor. He had better things to do, honestly.

“Well,” Jun cleared his throat, “I’ll gladly have you as a model, Sho-san. I have something in mind, so if you could tell me when you’re free in the next two weeks, I’ll try to get the costume out by then and we can do the fitting and photo shoot.” He paused, gut and throat suddenly twisting when he realize what he had just requested from Sho, and that it might have came out as rude. “If you don’t mind, still, that is. I understand that you’re busy.”

The last thing Jun wanted to be was to be an inconvenience for Sho. He hated being an inconvenience for anyone, always tried to keep things efficient so he didn’t have to disturb anyone, but then luck clearly wasn’t on his side this time round and --

“Hey.” A warm hand on his elbow tugged Jun back into reality, and he swallowed the thickness that was stuck in his throat - not the pleasant sort of stuck in his throat sensation Jun rarely got, no, the more complicated, darker one he hated. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. I offered, didn’t I?” Sho cocked his head, eyes soft.

Jun jerked his head in a little nod, feeling the back of his neck prickle uncomfortably, but gut untwisting slightly at the kindness in Sho’s gaze. Sho nodded slowly, taking out his phone and tapping several buttons before handing it to Jun. “I have my shifts for the rest of the month written in there. I no longer have thirty-hour shifts as I had a few years ago, so I do have a bit of a life now, don’t worry.” Sho reassured, grin wide and cheeky when Jun shot him a wide eyed look.

“Thirty hour shifts?” Jun asked incredulously, voice only stuttering slightly as he took a seat and he swiftly typed Sho’s shift hours into his own phone.

Sho joined him, the doctor teasingly jabbing Jun at his side. “You’re a design major. I’m sure you’ve had plenty of nights like that as well.”

Jun shrugged. Sho wasn’t wrong. “But still, I work with inanimate objects. You deal with human life, for thirty hours straight. That's amazing.”

“When you work in the hospital, no matter how long your shift may be or how tired you are, the patients are probably in more pain, or more miserable than you are. It put things into perspective.”

“I’ve never seen it that way.”

“Most people don't. It's not the job for everyone, I admit. Which is good, because society needs people from different backgrounds, different jobs to thrive.”

Jun nodded slowly, but chose not to comment, eyes dulling at the words. “Perhaps.”

“Jun-san?”

Jun forced a smile on his face, and handed Sho his phone. “I’ve added my number in there, so now you can text me instead, if I ever get a little too occupied. If I get your measurements today, I can probably finished it within the week and I’ll be out of your hair in two weeks.”

Sho’s forehead crinkled in a frown. “Please don't overwork yourself, Jun-san. You don't have to rush for me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, Sho-san. But my deadline happens to be in just over three weeks, so I do not have a lot of time in the first place.” Jun grimaced, but internally felt relieved because he already had a vague idea for Sho’s costume. The design would barely take a day and night, Jun surmised. And then he could draft out the pattern and complete it by next Saturday. He received a sympathetic grimace from Sho, and a consolatory pat on his shoulder.

“Well then, shall we kick the lovebirds out of the backroom? I think Ohno-sensei can watch his gallery for half an hour while I take your measurements.”

His question was met with confusion. “In the backroom?”

“Unless you’re okay with exhibitionism, Sho-san. I’ll require you to take your clothes off. I like to be thorough.” Jun teased, then promptly bit his tongue when he realized what that just sounded like. Sho seemed vaguely unperturbed, simply shrugging and responding with a nonchalant “Fair enough.”

Jun knocked on the door of the backroom. “Me and Sho-san have to borrow the back room, so you both better be wearing clothes when I come in.” There was an annoyed groan from the other side of the door, one Jun was very used to. “Don't groan, I need to work, and it’s not like you’re fucking each other, so get out.” Behind him, he could hear Sho snorting, and Jun laughed, making sure to paste a self-satisfied grin when a disgruntled Nino opened the door, hair slightly mussed, expression sour.

The expression melted into a suggestive, smug grin as Nino looked from Jun to Sho. “Seven minutes of heaven in the back room, are we?”

Jun rolled his eyes, refraining from looking back at Sho to see his expression. Jun wished - wait, what?

“We are not you, and no, he’s going to be my model and I need measurements, so out you get.” Jun shooed, lightly tugging Sho into the room by the wrist, past Nino. Thankfully, Ohno had quickly push Nino out, shooting Jun and Sho a small smile. “Glad you finally found a model, Jun. Take all the time you need.”

“Take all the time you need? Oh-chan! You’re inviting them to do more than just take measurements in there.” Nino hissed, to which Jun ignored, slamming the door shut and locking it. “Don’t molest the good doctor now, Jun-pon, no matter how hot he is.” Nino added loudly from the other side, to which Jun loudly knocked the door at the approximate height that was Nino’s ear.

A startled yelp pleased Jun incrementally.

“You have an interesting relationship with your roommate.” Sho commented benevolently, peering around. Jun found it interesting that Sho seemed used to the madness that was his life - i.e. Ohno and Nino, and wondered if the doctor’s calmness emerged from having worked in a hospital long enough, or just from having an equally crazy childhood. “I know someone who would get along very well with him, besides Leader, that is.”

Jun raised his eyebrow. “Don’t tell me, equally snarky and suggestive?” The very thought of a Nino clone caused Jun to shiver.

“No no, not equally snarky, but suggestive. And just a touch of mad scientist. You’re meeting him on Monday, I heard. Aiba Masaki.”

Jun nearly dropped the measuring tape he had been unrolling onto the floor, eyes wide. “Aiba-sensei? Is that why he told me to wear clothes I don’t mind getting dirty on Monday, or he’ll lend me an apron? What is he making me do, gardening?”

Sho’s eyes were filled with mirth, and Jun knew his face was one of horror.

“Don’t worry. It’s nothing deadly. I hope you aren’t allergic to animals.” Sho assured, or perhaps, _tried_ to assure, as Jun did not feel any less worried. Taking a slow breath, Jun looked up at the ceiling momentarily, and decided to worry about the actual meeting on Monday itself.

“Take off your shirt.” Jun gestured, and looked away momentarily to give the doctor some modicum of privacy. When Sho finished folding his shirt and had placed it on the chair, Jun redirected his vision to give the doctor a once-over.

 _Holy fuck_ . 

Jun had to consciously force his jaw to not drop at the sight of Sho’s torso, licking his lips slightly and forcing his eyes to shift to Sho’s face… which still didn’t detract Jun from the fact that Sho was _hot_ . The doctor was hot, and Jun was certain Sho knew it. For one, besides the obvious six-pack abs Sho had, the man was toned, his jeans hanging low enough for Jun to be able to appreciate _a lot_. And his clavicles. Jun has never been particularly focused in his sexuality, always too busy, too occupied once he entered university, but, hot damn, did Jun want to touch Sho’s body.

“Work out often?” Jun commented lightly, hoping his voice wasn’t as strained as it sounded. His heart thudded in his chest, especially when he walked closer to take the initial measurements.

Which would require him to touch said doctor. _Well he was fucked indeed_ . 

Sho followed Jun’s hands as Jun slipped the measuring tape around Sho’s shoulders, ignoring the warm skin thrumming under his hands. Jun brought the tape to the front of Sho’s neck, placing a finger between the tape and Sho’s skin - he could feel Sho’s Adam apple moving when the man swallowed, and replied, “When the time allows for it. Not that often, I gain muscle easily.” Jun quickly moved away to record the first measurement, ignoring his warming ears.

“You’re perfect the way you are.” Jun murmured under his breath, then signalled for Sho to raise his arms, bringing the tape around the doctor’s chest.

“Why, thank you.” Sho responded, tone amused. Jun bit his tongue. That wasn’t meant to be heard.

Jun forced the attraction out of his mind - he can be professional, especially since Sho had kindly volunteered to be his model, rather than volunteered for Jun to jump him - and swiftly took the rest of the measurements: chest, waist, seat, shirt length, shoulder width (“You have sloping shoulders. Don’t see that around here that often.” “I’ve been reminded of that, very often.”), etc, leaving the in-seam for last.

The in-seam.

“Just the in-seam left.” Jun breathed, looking at Sho as he knelt in front of Sho’s legs, ignoring Sho’s crotch, which was just in front of him. _This is just physical attraction, just lust, you can just ignore this_ , Jun mentally berated himself. Sho hummed, and Jun tried his best to not read into the dark gaze Sho levelled at him, as Jun measured the length between the bottom of Sho’s leg to his crotch.

 _Not. Looking._  

“Done.” Jun hurriedly turned around, cheeks heating up. “You can wear your shirt now. Thank you.”

The soft rustling behind him informed him that Sho was doing as he said, but Jun couldn’t help but remember how beautiful Sho’s body was. 

“I’ll try to finish by the coming Friday. You wouldn’t mind if I text you occasionally to ask about some preferences?”

“I wouldn’t mind at all.”

Xxxxx

To his surprise, Jun completed the costume design by Sunday afternoon - working through the night as well as the hours when the gallery was empty on Sunday morning. Of course, Jun would never admit that he already had some ideas of what Sho would look great in ever since the hospital visit, but ever since he saw that body…

Jun legitimately considered if it was safe to just make a transparent or semi-translucent shirt and linen pants for Sho and call it a day.

Obviously, Jun would never do that, but he did seriously consider it. However, rationality got the better of him, as well as the multitude of red fabric he had already gotten, and Jun decided that he’d make something military-esque. A blazer made of the sequined red fabric, accented in black, lined in gold. Topped with a police hat. Under that, a well fitted white button up shirt that would turn out a little bit see-through if it was wet, especially if said doctor was an actual idol, working up a sweat and -

“Ow!” Jun yelped as he promptly pricked his finger with a pin, cursing furiously at the pin and himself, for being distracted while pinning the pieces for the blazer lapels together. He shook his hand to ease the throbbing pain - despite having enough experience to know that doing that rarely helped - and frowned at the sight of a bead of blood forming at the tip of his middle finger.

Sighing, he placed the fabric down - lest he stain the pieces - and inserted his middle finger into his mouth to suck the beaded blood.

A camera flash from in front of Jun suddenly startled him, and he looked up, fingertip still in mouth, to identify the culprit, eyes wide.

His eyes narrowed instantly when he realized it was Nino with his camera. The photography major smirked. “Wouldn’t you prefer the good doctor to kiss your finger better? Or would you rather he suck it?”

Jun rolled his eyes at the crude joke, removing his finger from his mouth and eyeing the pricked finger. “What do you want, brat? This is the costume design studio, not your photography studio.”

“I’m hurt, don’t you want me here, Jun-pon?” Nino pouted, before lightly tugging Jun by the collar. “To answer your question, I’m here to bring you back. It’s nearly one in the morning, you work addict. You’ve been here since, what, three? Have you had dinner yet?”

Jun looked away guiltily. “I had a granola bar.”

Nino tsked. “You’re going to argue with me that at least you ate something. Pack up. You’re going home.”

“But--” Jun was far from close to finishing the pinning of the pieces together, but if he did, it’d only take him half an afternoon to finish the blazer piece.

“Don’t make me tell Oh-chan who would tell your doctor.”

Jun glared, but obediently started clearing his workspace and sorting the fabric pieces.

 _Room-mates._  

Xxxxx

“Aiba-Sensei, I’m Matsumoto Jun. Thank you for seei--” 

“Matsujun!” The jubilant counselor greeted Jun by the door, seizing him in a bear hug as he invited Jun in. “Come in, come in. I’ve been so excited to meet you.”

Jun nearly balked at the nickname. _Matsujun?_ Well, it was certainly better than Jun-pon, and Nino had layered that on him the day they met, so fair enough, he supposed. He walked into the office, gladly noting that, no, there was nothing unusual about the man’s office.

There was an office desk, looking very pristine and organized, with only a notebook and pen resting on its center, and two, normal looking office chairs. Nothing scary at all. There wasn’t even the typical posters one would see in a counselor office - if there was a word to describe the space, Jun would say, clinical.

He wondered, did he get the room wrong? Wasn’t he warned by Sho-san and Ohno-sensei that this man had unusual methods?

Sighing, Jun halted merely a metre from the door and let the eager counselor close it from behind him. He didn’t think it was necessary for him to see a shrink - in fact, he was very much forced to do so, given that Ohno had effectively given Jun his phone with Aiba on the line and told him, “now’s a perfect time to make an appointment.”

As eager as Aiba was, Jun still did not want to be spending ninety minutes of his life with a stranger that would likely inform him ‘take it slow, don’t burn out’ etc.

“Aiba-sensei, I just wanted to inform you that this is really unneces- Umph!” Jun grunted when Aiba promptly pushed him backwards and onto - a beanbag? Jun felt confused; was that hidden behind the door? Aiba tugged a large picnic basket from behind his table and sat cross legged in front of Jun, eyes bright with a child-like excitement. His expression made Jun’s resolve to possibly escape from this session early falter just a bit, and Jun sighed.

“I’ve heard so much about you from Leader and Sho-chan, so I’m really excited to meet you, Matsujun.”

“They talk about me?” Jun felt his heartbeat race slightly.

Aiba nodded distractedly as he carefully opened the the basket, and cooed at whatever was _in_ it. “Only good things, nothing to be anxious about.”

 _‘Please be cute and fluffy. Cute and fluffy.’_ Jun prayed as Aiba gently tilted the basket.

His heart nearly stopped when out came three puppies, rolling and stumbling around each other on their tiny feet. “So cute.” Jun cooed, reaching out to offer his hand at the nearest, sleepy looking, piebald one. The puppy snuffled at his hand and promptly walked away, ignoring Aiba’s hands and going back into the basket. 

“Ah, don’t mind Satoko. She’s the sleepy one.” Aiba explained, trying to wrangle a smaller, hyperactive puppy into his hands before dropping it onto Jun’s lap. The puppy clambered up onto Jun, and Jun suddenly understood why he had been requested to wear something he didn’t mind getting dirty, because this puppy was a drooler.

“You’re sweet but you really need to settle down.” Jun grunted as it - well, she - stepped onto his crotch while balancing on his chest to lick at his chin.

“Masako! Stop stepping on Jun’s crotch. He needs it.” Jun flushed at the comment, sputtering at how crude the statement sounded. “Ah… okay maybe best you take Shoko-chan. She’s the tamer one. If not you’ll be too busy wrangling Masako to talk properly.” Aiba crawled forward to pick the excited ball of fluff from Jun’s lap, and replaced it with another.

Shoko was fully white, compared to Masako’s brown coat and Satoko’s black and white spotty fur, and was thankfully far more calmer. She simply nuzzled into Jun’s arm with an soft yip and settled right onto him, allowing Jun to stroke her without a lot of fuss. Jun relaxed into the bean bag, crooning at the cute sight Shoko was.

“Are they yours?” Jun asked, watching as Aiba successfully wrangled said Masako into a happy ball of fur as he tickled her belly on the ground.

“Nope. I just know a person who keeps them, and she lets me borrow them for my counselling sessions, once in a while.” Aiba grinned, lifting up Masako and kissing her puppy nose. Jun smiled at the sight, but very much preferred the peaceful puppy resting on his lap. “So, now, tell me about yourself Matsujun.”

Jun looked suspiciously at the counselor, who barely seemed focus on the conversation, more engrossed in said puppy. “Don’t you have details about me already?”

“I prefer hearing them from you.”

Jun pursed his lips. “I’m Matsumoto Jun, 23 years old, a final year Visual and Music Design major studying in Keio University. I specialize under entertainment design.”

“From Tokyo?”

“Born and raised.”

“Ah, must have been interesting to have grown up in a big city like Tokyo. I’m from Chiba, but I attended high school in Tokyo, so the commute was horrible everyday. Oh, did you know, Sho-chan,” Aiba cocked his head slightly, “as in the doctor, not the puppy, was born in Gunma? But he was raised in Tokyo, so he is practically a city boy.”

Jun perked slightly at the information, but attempted to feign disinterest. “Oh?”

“Yep.” Aiba then became silent, scratching the puppy under her chin as Masako tried to nip his finger.

Jun narrowed his eyes in suspicion at Aiba’s sudden silence. “Aren’t you supposed to be probing me with questions?”

“Only if you want to tell me if there’s anything bothering you.” Aiba responded with a smile, eyes bright with an unreadable expression. For a strange reason, Jun knew those eyes were reading into him far more deeply than he was comfortable with, and he shifted uneasily.

“There’s nothing wrong with me!” Jun insisted, suddenly feeling defensive. Shoko whined at the movement, and Jun huffed, running a hand through her fur.

Aiba’s eyebrows were raised. “I never said there was anything wrong with you. Only that if anything was bothering you.”

Jun flushed; he had no idea why he had responded that way, but bit the inside of his cheek. “There’s nothing bothering me.” He corrected sullenly.

“Okay. We won’t talk about that then. Let’s gossip.” Aiba rubbed his hands together, then hurriedly grabbed Masako before she ran off. Jun blinked at the sudden change in topic, and Aiba explained, “Don’t treat me as someone who is out to pry your secrets, Matsujun - I prefer being considered a friend than a professional shrink. Although, I’ve been friends with Leader for over a decade now, and he didn’t tell me that he has a boyfriend now, so really, tell me more.”

“We’re going to gossip for the next... hour?” Jun clarified, still feeling quite confused and overwhelmed by the change in topic. “Is this meant to be counselling?”

“Not if you don’t want it to be.” Aiba patiently waited.

Jun hesitated, unsure if he really wanted to waste an hour of his day sitting with this strange, new person gossiping about his academic advisor and roommate, even if they were friends.

“I’ll tell you about Sho-chan if you tell me about Leader.”

Jun caved too easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should Inform you all that the costume Jun has in mind is basically Sho's costume from TABOO. YEP. (I'm unoriginal, but pssh he looked fantastic in that).


	6. Spring Semester, July

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Nino's POV, and then changes to Sho after the '--' divider.

“Oh-chan.”

“Mmm.”

“Oh-chan.”

“Mmm.”

“Satoshi.”

“Yes?” Ohno _finally_ looked up from where he had been hunched over his still half-made sculpture, hands covered in wet clay. Nino, who had been seated next to him for the past two hours playing Final Fantasy on his PS Vita, pursed his lips and twitched his nose in annoyance. “It’s 5 pm.”

5pm meant it was nearly time for Nino to report to his part time job, but 5pm also meant that Nino had just spent the last two hours in Ohno’s presence and had earned zero kisses. To be fair, Ohno gets into his artsy mood about as quickly and deeply as Nino gets into his gaming mood, so Nino hardly minds most of the time…

But Nino was in a slightly clingy mood, and he wanted some affection from Ohno, even if it’s just a little kiss or a hug. Ohno tilted his head in confusion, then nodded in acknowledgement. “You have work soon. Alright. Have a good day at work.”

He then turned back to his sculpture, and Nino remained in his chair, pouting at Ohno unhappily as he lightly kicked a leg of Ohno’s stool. The artist paused, and turned around again, eyes bright with what Nino hoped was realization.

“Did you want something?”

“Kiss.”

Ohno looked at Nino, then at his hands. “My hands are covered in clay.”

“You don’t need your hands to kiss me.” Nino rebutted, eyebrows raised. “Or I could just leave. It's fine.” He sighed noisily, knowing that Ohno couldn't, wouldn't be able to resist even as Nino began to pack his PS into his messenger bag and stood up.

“Is something bothering you?”

“What do you mean?” Nino fiddled with the strap of his bag.

“You don’t ask for kisses or hugs unless something’s bothering you.” Ohno grabbed the wet towel that had been set aside on the table and quickly wiped his hands clean (or as clean as he could make it) and reached out to hug Nino, cupping his cheek and planting a soft kiss against Nino’s lips. This was the reason they had shifted their meetings to the gallery backroom - privacy, with little chance of anyone walking in unless it was Jun.

Nino tsked, but made no move away from Ohno. “You know, a year ago, you were the one to squirm away from my touches.”

“Because you would squeeze my butt in public. On campus!” Ohno complained. “What’s bothering you? Worried about Jun? You texted me the other day about him.”

Nino kept his lips pursed, simply squeezing Ohno a little more tighter, before letting go. He slipped a small envelope onto Ohno’s pants pocket. “Pass that to your doctor friend, for me, would you?”

“Sho-kun?”

Nodding, Nino pressed a kiss against the corner of Ohno’s lip. “I’ll head to work now. Text you tonight. Don’t forget to eat.”

He missed Ohno’s frown directed at his retreating back.

\----

Ohno handed the envelope to Sho the following day at the art block’s cafeteria. “From Kazu.” Ohno explained to a puzzled Sho, to which the doctor just grew more confused.  

“Uh…” Sho plucked the offered envelope from Ohno’s hand. “I’m actually here to meet Jun-san for the fitting, so why did Nino-san give it to you instead of Jun-san?” He opened the flap, and took out the small post-it that was stuck to the other side of the opened flap. On it, Nino’s familiar handwriting had written a small ‘>:D’, and Sho felt a prickle of nervousness.

He had barely known Nino and Jun for more than a month, and already, Sho suspected that he should be worried. _Very worried_.

He slid out the contents of the letter - it was only a printed photo, likely taken by Nino himself, but Sho found his eyes widening at the picture, blushing vigorously and quickly returning it back to the envelope before he made a fool of himself in public from the contents of the picture. Ohno widened his eyes at Sho’s almost violent response. “Is everything alright?”

Sho nodded hurriedly. “Nothing important.”

“Eh?” Ohno looked puzzled, but thankfully, the man rarely pushed, simply tilting his head to the side and nodding in confused acceptance. “So what brought you here today?”

Sho crossed his leg in public and forced the image of the picture out of his mind. Jun’s room-mate was the devil incarnate, Sho was certain. He cleared his throat. “Jun-san finished making the costume, so he asked me to come down to the studio for a fitting.”

“Ah, that was fast. Matsujun always outdoes himself.”

Frowning, Sho tapped the envelope against the desk. “Is that usual for him? To work that fast, that is? It’s only been what, just under a week?” Somehow he had an inkling that there was some late nights involved in the process.

“That’s Matsujun for you. He likes getting things done efficiently and well. He’s excellent at costume design and fabrication, actually. He’s even better at organizing light and visuals, plenty of ideas, but…” Ohno picked his nose, pursing his lips. “That sort of job is hard to get into just as is. It’s admirable that he is aiming for it, and that he is working for it, but honestly, for a fresh graduate, it’ll be hard for him, even with his internship.”

“Internship?”

“I managed to secure an internship for him with Johnny’s.”

“Ehhhh?” Sho exclaimed. “You asked the old man?”

Ohno nervously scratched his hair. “What can I say, he still likes us, apparently.”

Sho laughed. “How nostalgic though. It’s been so long. Ahh… They’re going to scare him, with how crazy the schedules are. Will Jun-san be okay, really?”

Sho was responded with a shrug and grimace. “It’s his only in to enter the entertainment business. I think he’ll be able to take it, if he knows how to reject some of the assignments. He is only just there to intern.”

‘ _If he knows how to reject them._ ’ Sho added mentally, knowing that Ohno was thinking the same, especially with the look the art professor was shooting him. Clearing his throat, he decided to change the topic. “So, Mai got engaged last weekend.” He pouted. “My little sister. Engaged! So young.”

“Ehhhh! That’s great!”

“Leader! She’s 24!”

Xxxxxx

Sho peeked through the door of the studio, nervously looking around the large studio for any sign of the charming man he had an appointment with. There were only a small handful of students scattered in the costume studio, some huddled over sewing machines, and others handling bundles of bolts of fabric of various colours and forms.

One student in particular, was managing about five two-metre bolts of fabric, and seemed to be struggling to carry all of them safely to the table. The bolts seemed to teeter precariously, even with the student’s vain attempts to keep them together as a bundle. Sho decided to intervene, his doctor ‘senses’ getting the better of him and preferring to avoid injuries than treating them. Rushing into the room, he quickly caught two bolts of fabric just as they began to fall.

“Ahhh sorry for the trouble.” The student - a handsome, albeit eager looking man - apologized. “Thank you for your help.”

Sho grunted at the sudden weight. “Where do we put this?”

“Ahhhh sorry, just lean it against the worktable.”

Fortunately, the worktable was only just a few metres away, and the pair managed to lug the bolts and lean it against the table. Once the bolts were no longer threatening to fall on the floor, the man turned around and ducked his head at Sho.

“Sorry for the trouble. I’m Toma. Fourth year computer engineering student. Thank you for your help.” Toma introduced himself. The doctor raised his eyebrows. A computer engineering student in a costume design studio… “Ah no, I’m not here because my workspace is here. I’m here because I just had a meeting with a friend of mine on a collaboration project we’re working on, and I handle the programming for his lights and holograms”

 _Lights_ . _Holograms._

Sho tried to not look eager as he asked, “Does your friend happen to be Matsumoto Jun?”

Toma blinked, and nodded quickly. “Yep. He’s at the back settling some nifty looking costume. He kicked me out because he had an appointment with some other hot guy, apparen-”

“Oi, Toma-kun. I can hear your voice from here. Get out of my studio before you disturb the others.” Jun’s familiar voice called out from a small room in the back of the studio, door almost unnoticeable. Toma grinned apologetically at Sho.

“Sorry. Just getting trying to get the promised fabric cut and then I’ll get out.”

Jun stepped out of the small room, arms crossed and face unimpressed, although he was smiling slightly. Sho found his breath catching slightly at the sight of Jun, looking impressive as alway, but amusingly with a fedora atop his head, with what it appeared to be a… needle? Stuck upon it as though Jun was the mad hatter himself. Upon catching sight of Sho, he raised a hand in greeting, eyes softening at the sight of the doctor, but Jun made no attempts in addressing Sho just yet. Looking around the room, Jun’s vision focused on another, younger student in the corner. “Kento-kun.”

Said younger student nearly jumped a foot in the air, to Sho’s amusement (and likely Jun’s, if the the snort wasn’t an indication), and quickly turned around, pins still held in his hand. “Yes, Matsumoto-senpai.” he stuttered, looking flustered but excited from being picked out of the rest of students.

“Ikuta-san requires a metre-by-half a metre piece of those five bolts of fabric. Please assist him before he or someone else gets hurt. I know we have a doctor in the room, but I rather keep injuries to a minimum.”

The instructed man - Sho was inclined to call him a boy, really, given how young he looked and how he was bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement - nodded eagerly. “Of course, Matsumoto-senpai.”

Jun turned around and gestured for Sho to come in. “This way, Sho-san. Thank you for coming today.”

Sho hurriedly followed, although found it interesting that there was no strange stares or curious glances his way, as though they were all afraid of Jun.

“And Kento-kun, please put those pins down before you stab someone with them.” Jun added offhandedly as he shut the door behind Sho, an echoing “Ah, right, thank you for the reminder, Matsumoto-senpai.” coming from outside the door. Sho couldn’t help but burst out laughing at what had just happened.

“What on earth just happened?”

Jun grinned widely, pushing his glasses up. “Ah, I have an agreement with Toma-kun. He helps me with the lights and visuals for my plans, and in return I provide him with fabric for his experiments on signal conductance, or something of that sort.”

“And that Kento-kun?” Sho was itching to add a comment about him being an over-excited puppy, but stopped himself before he could sound rude.

Jun said it for him anyway. “Nakajima Kento is an overeager puppy of a kouhai, with an interesting case of senior-worship. Don’t ask me what I did to earn it. I don’t know either.” Sho refrained from making his own comment that it seemed that everyone else in the studio was afraid of Jun, instead, smiling to himself and looking around the small room, that seemed more like an office, shelves filled with fabric pieces and trimmings, as well as drawing materials. It wasn’t a large room, only around the size of a small 4.5-mat* room. Very cozy for 2 people to be in, but the room was so well organized and neat, it did not feel claustrophobic at all. A small window invited natural lighting into the room, illuminating a desk that only held a sewing machine, and a neat set of stationery and pins. There were multiple mannequins along the back of the room, dressed with varying styles of costumes, ranging from something kimono-esque, an elaborate, lacy dress, and a red military-style uniform-costume that Sho quite liked.

Over the last two days, Jun had only asked Sho the most random of questions through text, ranging from his favourite music (rap) to what he did in his free time (research good places to eat). As a result, Sho had no clue what Jun had designed for him.

“This is where I work. Perks of being a senior - I get the private workspace.” Jun explained. “Sometimes I prefer using the larger bigger worktables outside, but I don’t like having distractions when I’m working on a piece.”

“It’s very organized.” Sho suddenly recalled Nino commenting on Jun’s peculiarness for the cleanliness of his work area, and suddenly understood what the photography major meant… and he was going to keep his hands to himself, this afternoon.

“I like it organized. So, shall we start?” Jun wheeled the red military style costume in front of Sho, and Sho did a little internal cheer - he hadn’t disclose more details about his pre-university days to Jun, or to most people, actually, but Sho quite missed the days where Ohno, Aiba and him did their short ‘idol’ stint, with the costumes and all. It was nostalgic to say the least. “Wear the shirt and pants first, then we’ll move on to the blazer. I’ll look away.”

Sho waved Jun away. “It’s fine. I’m not shy.”

Jun scoffed. “Of course not, with a body like that…” Jun muttered under his breath. Sho had to bite his lip, blushing at the compliment. The costume was surprisingly comfortable to wear, the collared shirt under it a thin linen that was a shade away from being translucent, but breathable, and pants free enough to dance in.

The pants ended a little farther than it should, but surprising, everything else was alright. Jun seemed very satisfied with himself, removing the needle from his fedora and deftly inserting a yellow thread through it. “I’ll try not to poke you.” Jun teased as he sat down on the ground, pinching the hem of the pants and roughly fixing the length.

Sho couldn’t help but be reminded at the envelope that was tucked into his jeans pocket - especially when Jun was holding a needle. It was a bad idea to think of it so clearly, given that that demon that was Nino must have been certain what a picture of a wide-eyed, bespectacled Jun with a finger stuck in his mouth, would do to Sho.

He was as bad as Aiba. No, even worse, given that he had a camera and wasn’t afraid to tempt Sho to do something like _jump_ Jun.

“How’s your finger?” Sho blurted out.

“What?” Jun blinked, looking up at Sho from his kneeling position. Sho shifted his gaze upwards to the opposite wall, biting his tongue.

“Uh, just talking to myself.” Sho internally cursed. ‘Distractions. Think of distractions…’ “Say, Sea Day* is coming up soon, isn’t it?”

Jun hummed. “In two weeks? Or less.” He had moved on to the second pantleg.

“Any plans?”

“Well, if I could drag Nino out from the apartment long enough to get some Vitamin D, I’d like to go to the beach. Not Enoshima, though. That place is so crowded. Maybe Oarai.”

“You know, I think Leader was thinking of going fishing on that day. Maybe you should come with, and drag Nino-san with you. He’ll come if there’s Ohno-san, right?”

Jun paused, tilting his head in thought. “That would be nice. I’ve never been out at sea before. If Ohno-sensei bribes him, probably.”

“I’ll ask. Aiba-chan will probably come as well.” ‘And there would be shellfish. And snowcones. And ice cream…’ Sho thought gleefully. “It’ll be a nice break, don’t you think so?”

“I guess so. It’ll be when this assignment is over, so as long as I get the ocean, I don’t mind going.” Jun responded distractedly as he tied a quick knot and cut off the remaining thread., then looked up with alarmed eyes once. “Aiba-san? He’s not going to bring any strange animals, is he?”

Sho laughed at his response. “He didn’t bring any weird animals to your first session, did he? He rarely does that.”

Jun shook his head. “He didn’t, no, he brought puppies, but… he asked me if I liked kangaroos and I’m kind of paranoid now.”

Sho whistled. Kangaroos. Aiba usually eased his patients with smaller, furry creatures unless he felt they were… ‘special’, to say the least. On the other hand, Sho felt relieved that Jun was still talking to Aiba. “I can make sure he doesn’t bring anything funny, but I’m certain he won’t. He likes his animals, yes, but you don’t have to worry about it, really.”

Jun breathed out a sigh of relief. “That’s a relief.”

“Aiba-chan is very kind. He was my roommate through medical school, actually.” Sho commented mildly, wearing the blazer when Jun offered it to him, and slung the sequined black tie around his neck. Jun reached forward and undid the first two buttons of the shirt, stepping back to observe the completed look. In Sho’s opinion, everything fitted perfectly - he was very impressed and pleased with how he looked, actually, but Jun did not seem satisfied, reaching over and fiddling with the sleeve of the jacket. From the close distance, Sho could easily see developing dark circles under Jun’s eyes, hidden by his glasses.

Frowning, Sho reached out with his free hand and touched the shadows. Jun froze, but made no move to stop Sho nor move away from him, much to Sho’s pleasure. “You haven’t been sleeping enough, have you?”

“It’s the curse that we call, university. And deadlines.” Jun grabbed his wrist. “Let me just make adjustments to this sleeve and I think we’ll be good.”

Sho let himself be manhandled slightly, standing still so that Jun could finish up more quickly. At the end however, Sho caught Jun staring thoughtfully at his hands, and cleared his throat. “Is everything okay?”

Jun stared blankly at the hand, then up at Sho, eyes bright with ideas. “A glove. Red. Would look good, don’t you think?” Jun dropped Sho’s hand and reached for his measuring tape on the table and wrapping it around the second knuckle of Sho’s left thumb.

“Eh?”

Jun simply noted the lengths on his palm with a marker, smiling to himself, and proceeding to take measurements for the remaining fingers, and then his wrist. “Your fingers are pretty. Do you play any instrument?”

Sho flushed at the compliment - now that, he didn’t hear that often. “Just the piano, I’m not that good, though. Don’t have a lot of time to practice when I have work.”

“That’s a shame. Nino plays the piano too, but his fingers aren’t as beautiful as yours. His hands are far more smaller. They’re cute, but yours are gorgeous.”

“Your hands are beautiful too. Do you play any instruments, then?”

Jun looked up, eyebrows raised. Behind the glasses, Sho found himself easily drowning in how warm Jun’s eyes was, despite his usually serious demeanour. “Only if you could the sewing machine, or my art tools, as an instrument. I’m not that talented, I’d say.”

“They count!” Sho protested. “I’ve seen that sketch of yours from the hospital, and you promised to let me see some of your sketches, didn’t you?” Jun tsked when Sho shifted slightly, causing the tape to slip slightly.

“Let me get an outline of your hand, and then I’ll let you see them, alright? They’re all on the shelf over there,” he gestured to the shelf that was occupied by folios and books with his head distractedly. “You can look them over while I tailor the sleeves and pants. I’ll finish the gloves on Sunday, before the photoshoot. You’re free then, aren’t you?”

Sho nodded eagerly. “Finally, I get to see them.” He bounced cheerfully, and Jun hissed.

“Stay still. You’re not a five year old.”

“Sorry sorry.” Sho grinned, eyeing at that shelf. “I’m just eager. I can’t draw to save my life, you know. So your hands are really amazing, to be able to draw that well and make these costumes.”

Jun rolled his eyes, but smiled. “Well, they’re all I have, I suppose.”

\--

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *In Japan, room sizes are calculated via number of tatami-mats, or -jo. 4 mats would be around 6-7 square metres of room space, so you can imagine a room that’s around 2 by 3 metres.
> 
> *Sea Day is a public holiday in Japan, held on the 17th of July.


	7. Spring Semester, July

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 Sakumoto cookies for she-who-betaed-this :3
> 
> (Sorry for the delay in chapter. Life caught up with me. Visitors and school and health lol. But well.... things are coming along.)

Jun had to admit, the more he met with Aiba, the more worried he grew, thinking about what would happen if Aiba met Nino. 

It wasn’t that he was being particularly cruel, nothing of that sort, but it was only their  _ second _ session and the man told him to be prepared for wallabies, and promptly dumped baby capybaras in his lap. 

_ Baby. Capybaras. _

Jun was bracing for jumping critters that could leave him with bruises with their tail, but no, instead, they were baby capybaras that did nothing except toddle around before falling asleep on the ground or on his lap. As much as he wanted to _coo_ at them, what Jun honestly wanted to do was to slaughter the counselor, if not for the fact that he enjoyed talking to Aiba and Aiba was his best source of information about Sho. 

Not that Jun was interested in Sho. Of course not. Jun simply liked learning more about his models in order to produce fitting costumes for them. Even if they were emergency models and meddling doctors. Moreover, he could not omit the fact that Sho had a body Jun was very much (NOT) drooling over and (NOT) itching to run his fingers all over. 

“Are you  _ really _ allowed to bring these animals into the office?” Jun suspiciously asked as he stroked the head of a baby capybara that was dozing off on his knee. Aiba nodded vigorously, paying no heed to a curious trio that were nosing the potted plant by the door. Instead, he was staring at Jun with a bright fascination that only slightly scared Jun.  _ Slightly, scared _ . Despite his friendly demeanour, Jun also felt like Aiba was reading far more than what what he portrayed or communicated. 

“They’re pretty harmless, anyway. I think the management would be more concerned if I asked to bring in something more…. Scary-looking, like a boar, or a kangaroo. Capybaras are harmless, especially when they’re just babies.” 

“Kangaroos are scary?” Jun whispered lowly to the baby capybara, who merely rolled onto its other side. 

“Terrifying!” Aiba hissed from across him. 

Jun nodded warily. “If you say so, Aiba-san.” 

Jun had given up trying to address Aiba by his proper title (that is, -sensei), given that the man would shoot Jun a wide eyed, sad expression whenever Jun did so. In fact, Aiba had told Jun to call him Aiba-chan instead, but there was no way Jun had the intention of doing so; Jun had known Nino for nearly 3.5 years now, and he’d never call Nino ‘Nino-chan’ (god forbid, Nino would slaughter him if he ever tried), or ‘Kazu’ (because that was reserved solely for Ohno). 

“So, Jun-kun,” Aiba’s expression grew serious, “I know you think these sessions are a waste of time, so I’d like to first thank you for taking some time off to meet me. I know the last year in university is a very busy time period for you, especially for design students, so really, thank you.” 

The frankness of the statement made Jun blush in embarrassment. It was true Jun felt that way, but he didn’t think he made it that obvious - it was not that Jun didn’t like Aiba… But it was true, he didn’t understand why Ohno and Sho, even Nino sometimes, wanted him to talk to Aiba. Certainly, Jun understood that his… Work habits could be particularly worrisome to people around him, but they couldn’t, or perhaps wouldn’t be able to fathom his reasons. Jun functioned  _ fine _ like that. Despite the often ridiculous working hours, the extra work he has to put in to comprehend not just design, but also stage lighting and engineering... Jun didn’t mind it much. 

He was good at it. He excelled at it, most of the times, so… There was no reason why he shouldn’t continue to pursue what he was good at. 

Jun ducked his head. “I’m sorry if I ever gave you that impression, Aiba-san. It’s just that…” 

“You don’t find this necessary. I know, Matsujun. No need to feel too embarrassed about that. Most people blanch at the prospect of having to see a ‘shrink’ or whatever you call us counsellors nowadays. There isn’t  real emphasis on mental health, unfortunately.” 

“But Aiba-san... I’m perfectly fine.” Jun stressed slowly. 

Aiba cocked his head, eyes thoughtful. He steepled his fingers together. “Do you know why Oh-chan asked you to see me? And Sho-chan as well?”

“... Because of the hospital incident?” Jun started hesitantly. “I’m perfectly functional and can take of myself, Aiba-san. It was just an accidental slip, and it won’t happen again. Especially now that Nino and Ohno-sensei are watching me like hawks.” Jun grumbled the last bit.  

“That’s not it.” 

“Then what is it?” 

“... I think it’ll be cheating if I tell you the reason.” Aiba grinned sheepishly, much to Jun’s annoyance. 

Jun’s flat glare surprisingly did not work on Aiba, who merely reached over to grab an unsuspecting capybara. 

“Don’t tell me that is the bit where you tell me that I have to acknowledge my own problems, because as I’ve said - I. Am. Fine.” 

“If you insist so, Matsujun. You don’t have to come here if you don’t want to anymore, then.” 

The flippancy in Aiba’s voice stunned Jun for a moment; he had expected Aiba to be more forceful about it, but the counsellor merely gave him the option to leave. For a moment, Jun felt slightly mad that - dare he think so - he was being ‘dumped’ in a proverbial sense, but simultaneously, Jun felt guilty for being fairly dismissive towards the prospects of seeing Aiba. 

Jun stayed silent, staring at the sleeping capybara by his knee but unable to meet Aiba’s eyes.  

“Of course, you’re free to visit if you ever want somebody to talk to.” 

Jun looked up in surprise, to find Aiba giving him a smile gentle enough to make Jun flush in embarrassment. “I did mention that I prefer being considered a friend, rather than a professional. If you’d like to de-stress, as well, I can bring in some animals. Nothing vicious like kangaroos, mind you. Although you might prefer Sho-chan to me for de-stressing, I’m sure.”

The insinuative eyebrow waggle and statement was enough to send Jun sputtering; causing the poor animal by his feet to jerk awake by Aiba’ giggles and Jun’s indignant response.

xxxx

“Sooo,” Nino drawled as he carelessly flopped onto his chair with the elegance of an armadillo, curling around his camera and fiddling with the settings, “When did you say your doctor would be dropping by? I am on a strict schedule - photos to take, games to play, Oh-chans to disturb.” 

Next to him, Jun rolled his eyes from where he was neatly pressing the proper creases onto Sho’s costume, and threw a (thankfully) blunt pencil in the direction of Nino’s shoulder. “Don’t slouch - it’s bad for your back. Also, Sho-san isn’t my doctor anymore. And that isn’t strict schedule.” 

The photography major simply dodged the pencil, letting it clatter to the floor next to him as Nino tutted. “Violence is not the solution to everything, Jun-pon. Disturbing Oh-chan requires a lot of time, don’t you know?” 

“I’m bribing you with hamburgers already, what else do you want? For me to convince Ohno-sensei to fuck you?” 

Nino brightened and looked at Jun with eager eyes, to which Jun religiously ignored. “You would?”

“That was sarcasm.”

Instantly, Nino slunk forward in his chair, pouting.

“I don’t understand why you’re so eager to have sex with him; it’s not the end of the world if you don’t get any until next March. That’s what, only six or seven months away.” 

To be fair, Jun was a workaholic to the point where celibacy was almost a part of his lifestyle, not that he wanted it to be so; he had been propositioned several times over the last three years in university, but ironically, by the wrong gender. The last ‘action’ he had was a slobbery kiss in his junior high school graduation by one of his best friends then; it also put him out of liking girls entirely. Given that he didn’t makean effort to announce to the entire school that he was very much into men, it had been very just him and his hand for the past few years. 

(And recently, a certain doctor in mind to ‘help’, but Jun wasn’t going to admit that anytime soon.)

That being said, it was strange but heartening to see Nino very much attached to someone. Despite the brash personality Nino put up at times, Jun knew that his room-mate was, in fact, a very sensitive and kind man (with certain annoying habits, but no one was perfect). As such, when Nino came home one night looking very pleased with himself, Jun found it extremely suspicious that Nino was making a concerted effort to make himself a dinner that wasn’t just instant cup ramen, instead fried rice and packing it into tupperware. 

Of course, Jun nearly received a heart attack the following day when his own academic advisor showed up in his apartment, accompanied and apparently invited by  _ Nino _ , resident hikikomori, to play Mario Kart after having Nino having helped his drunken self home the previous night. 

The fried rice? It was hangover food for Ohno. 

Jun was  _ boggled. _ But it could have been entirely worse, like Nino bringing home a stray puppy or raccoon. At least a human could take care of himself… Or at least Ohno could. (Jun hoped.)

Nevertheless, it was the first instance Jun had ever seen Nino attached to any living being besides his family and his family’s dog, and if Nino was happy, Jun was happy. 

Except that now Nino kept whining about his lack of sex life to Jun. Jun, whose current love life revolved around an unrequited crush on a hot doctor who was slightly more than half a decade older than him. Jun didn’t think himself to be an exceedingly selfish person, but when a man gets jealous over his room-mate having a stable two year relationship with his academic advisor and them being able to make out… Jun would rather not continue that train of thought.

Given that said doctor had seen him in an unflattering state, Jun had no expectations of said crush proceeding any further. (Sho was a kind man, who was keen on helping Jun. No other suspicious motives, no matter what Nino said.) 

“I really like him.”

Jun blinked, looking at the frowning Nino, who was stubbornly staring at his camera and unwilling to meet Jun’s eyes. “I know that. I’m sure he does too. Hell, he must know that.” 

“But… it’s hard to tell with him. I hate to sound clingy but sometimes he seems so distant and I can’t read him at all.” 

“Sex doesn’t quite fix that, Nino. Maybe you should talk to him about that.” 

“But it’s awkward…” Jun grimaced at the whine, but walked over to pat his hair. 

“Both of you are adults, despite me doubting that at times.” Jun ignored the indignant ‘hey!’, and continued, “So I’m sure that if you have some insecurities about your relationship, you can and should talk to him about it. You’ve been dating for nearly two years now. You can’t be telling me that you both haven’t had a fight before.”

Nino looked away, and Jun gaped at him.

“You’re kidding me.” 

“What can I say - we get along fine.” 

Jun rolled his eyes. He wondered why he was surprised given that this  _ was _ Ohno and Nino. It was almost expected of the two to  _ not _ have fights. 

A brief knock on the door startled the pair. “Sorry to disturb, but is this photography studio 2-A…?” Sho’s familiar head peeked inside, expression brightening when he saw Jun. “Found you! I was afraid I was going to be late.” 

“You’re right on time, Sho-san. Thank you for coming down today. I promise to be out of your hair after today.”

Next to Jun, Nino muttered a swift: “Pretty sure he’d rather you stay in his hair for as long as you want. Or in his  _ pants _ .” Jun gave Nino a quick side glare, to which Nino simply smiled his gummy smile at Sho and waved his camera at him. “Nice to see you again, Sho-chan.” 

Sho merely looked between the two with slightly amused confusion, before pointing at the costume that was spread over the table. “It’s not a problem, really, but… Should I change into that?”

Jun nodded briskly, grabbing the linen shirt and pants and handing it over to Sho. “There’s a corner over there that’s been cordoned off as a changing ar-- or you could just change here, if you don’t mind.” Jun trailed off distractedly when Sho shrugged and started changing on the spot. Nino snorted and stared at Sho for a straight ten seconds until Jun jabbed him and pointedly made him look away. 

“You don’t have to be selfish.” Nino whispered in a half-hearted manner, earning himself a light slap at the back of his head. 

“It’s called personal privacy!” Jun hissed to Nino, smiling at Sho when the doctor looked at the pair. 

“You don’t need personal privacy when you have a body like his.” Nino scoffed, and peeked over. “And he’s interested in you? Jun, you lucky dog.”

“Shut up!” Jun hissed. Noticing that Sho was nearly done, Jun shot Nino one last warning glare and grabbed the blazer, handing it over to Sho while scrutinizing his appearance thoroughly. 

He frowned at the sight of shadows under Sho’s eyes, and tugged Sho to sit on the nearest chair. “You look tired. Long week?” Reaching into his bag, Jun removed a tub of hair gel and a concealer stick, dropping them onto Sho’s lap. Readjusting his glasses, Jun tilted Sho’s chin upwards to get a better look before lightly dabbing the concealer just under the shadows. 

Behind him, Jun heard the camera go off. 

“Just testing the lighting.” Nino added before Jun or Sho could bother asking, to which the pair accepted. 

“A bit. I had to take a thirty-hour shift two days ago and I’m still tuckered out.” Sho replied to Jun’s question and obediently sat still when Jun blended the concealer with his finger. 

Jun’s forehead furrowed. “I’m sorry you had to come down here today then. We could have postponed it.” 

“Nah. I wanted to see you.” 

Jun religiously ignored the snort from Nino. doing his best to stop himself from blushing instead. “You’re a doctor. Aren’t you supposed to be pro-sleep and health?” 

“Well, just because we spout advice that doesn’t necessarily mean we practice it.”

“It’s not too good for your health, is it?” 

As a response, Sho’s hand extended upwards to trace the shadows hidden under Jun’s spectacle frames. “No, it isn’t.” 

Another flash caused Sho’s hand to fall away quickly and the pair to look at Nino with a quizzical expression. 

“Sorry, had to test the settings. Think it’s alright now.” Nino stuck up a thumbs up in their direction and he looked at the screen of his camera. “We can get started once the two of you are done.”

“Ah, well,” Jun hastily stood up, reaching for the hair gel.  “We should work fast then. So you can get some rest after this.”

“Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to have some coffee with me after this. I’m off tomorrow as well, so I can sleep in tomorrow morning.” 

Sho’s eyes were so eager and wide that Jun found himself unable to say no, even if he was planning to work on the new lighting design interfaces Toma had dropped off in the morning. The bright grin he received in return for his agreement, Jun decided, was enough to offset his mild annoyance with himself at having to procrastinate till the next day.

xxxx

/Sea Day/

Jun’s primary concerns about Aiba ever meeting Nino were unfortunately extremely accurate, as Jun found himself looking warily at the giggling duo in front of him. The five of them had finally met up together along the beaches of Oarai and were joining Ohno on a fishing boat he was chartering for Sea Day, and Jun was excited that he could finally relax and enjoy himself at sea for a day with good company. 

(“When you say good company, are you telling me that your doctor is joining us?” Nino had asked curiously when Jun mentioned the invitation to him, a few days after Sho’s costume fitting.

Jun rolled his eyes, hoping to hide his nervousness as he transferred the boiled pasta into the prepared alfredo sauce in the saute-pan. “He did invite us, Nino, of course he will be coming.” 

“Well… watching the two of you trying to flirt with each other  _ is _ tempting, and to add the fact that Oh-chan will be around…” 

“No boat sex.” 

“Damn it, Jun.”)

Speaking of Sho and Ohno, Jun turned behind to look at the pair lugging their (well, Ohno’s) fishing equipment, Ohno amicably explaining the different types of fishes that they might be able to catch that day. It was a perfect day to go out at sea, Ohno had mentioned on the drive there, and Jun agreed - the sun was out and shining, with just enough clouds to provide some shade occasionally. Perfect weather for T-shirts, shorts and shades. 

“You’ve never been on a boat before, right?’ Sho had caught up to Jun and looked over at the sea with that breathtaking, toothy smile of his that Jun very much liked. “It’ll be such a fun trip.”

Jun shook his head, and looked in the same direction to admire the sun-lit waves. “I hope so. The sea is so beautiful… You don’t get a view like this from Tokyo…” He narrowed his eyes suspiciously when Nino and Aiba turned around simultaneously stare at them, before cackling/giggling and starting to whisper conspiratorially at each other. “Okay, I knew that the two meeting would be a bad idea.” 

“It isn’t too bad… They seem to be getting along very well.” 

Jun threw Sho a flat look, to which Sho replied with a sheepish grimace. “A prankster with a trigger-happy-counsellor who probably has an animal hiding in his pocket. Not that I don’t love the both of them, but I have lived with one of them for nearly three years now, and I know what ideas he’d think of.” 

“Nino-san can’t be that ba…” 

Jun silenced Sho with a quick glare, sighed, and forced himself to relax. “Let’s not think about that for now.”

“Good plan.” Sho added congenially next to him, resting his free hand on Jun’s shoulder to squeeze it reassuringly. Jun felt himself relax further at the action. “Don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll be distracted with Leader today.” 

X

It turned out that Nino  _ was _ distracted, but less distracted by Ohno and more distracted by the fact that they were at sea, Jun discovered. 

Or well, Jun and Nino and everyone else discovered, when Nino regurgitated the contents of his breakfast over the side of the boat within half an hour of being at sea, looking distinctively white-green. Nino had been deceptively quiet once they started their journey out at sea, but Jun had attributed it to his typical social reclusiveness...Until Nino started throwing up. After that point in time, it was pretty clear that Nino was trying to hide his seasickness. 

It didn’t help that Ohno had excitedly went and offered Nino - already shaky and dizzy from all the vomiting - the freshly fillet Hamachi sashimi that Sho and Aiba had managed to successfully wrangle on their first try. 

Jun merely glared fiercely at the confused-looking Ohno as Nino clutched onto Jun and resumed retching into the sea. Simultaneously, Aiba hurriedly steered said confused art professor away before he could possibly wither in Jun’s fierce glare, while murmuring: “Not the best idea, Leader.” 

Thankfully, Sho intervened before Jun could start on his own academic advisor, immediately bustling to look for antiemetic drugs - “Or something to knock him out until we get back on land,” Sho muttered beneath his breath as he grimaced and sympathetically patted Nino’s back. Jun could almost kiss the man - metaphorically, of course - for being somewhat sensible and helpful, if not for the fact that Jun was trying to make sure that Nino didn’t fall overboard. 

“Perhaps you’ll feel better if you have a lie down in cabin? They have a small area to sleep in.” Sho suggested a bit later, when Nino was finally done throwing up everything he had eaten in what probably felt like an entire year. 

“I’ll feel better when the boat stops rocking.” Nino half-groaned, half-whined (Jun didn’t actually think that was possible, to be honest).

“A little impossible right now.” Jun replied flatly, but reached over to sling Nino’s arm across his shoulder. “Let’s just have you out of the sun and flat, alright? You’re still a bit green.” 

He ignored Nino’s grumble of “I’ll show you green.” and tugged the stumbling man into said cabin-slash-bunker before Nino keeled over. 

X

Two hours into the boat ride, and Jun decided that he would enjoy himself a lot more if he went and sat with Nino, rather than join the trio in the front. The prospect of being able to enjoy the view of the sea from the cool shade of the cabin while still be able to keep an eye on Nino appealed to Jun far more than the idea of being up at the main deck with the three older men

Fishing didn’t really appeal to Jun - he preferred simply enjoying the view and breeze, rather than waiting for a bite and then floundering with said bite afterwards. He liked his fishes fresh, but not that fresh. 

That being said, the time it was taking for Ohno to come check on Nino was stretching longer and longer, and Jun wasn’t impressed, to say the least. While no one knew that Nino was really prone to sea-sickness - not even Nino himself - Jun had expected that Ohno would have at least came over to check on Nino within half an hour. Instead, Aiba had dropped by to pat Nino on the head sympathetically (it astounded Jun how fast they became friends; Nino called Aiba “Aibaka”. After less than a day of meeting!), and Sho came by occasionally to give Jun and Nino water and food. 

(And to flirt with Jun, Nino whispered half-heartedly to Jun once Sho left for the fourth time in the hour. Unfortunately, Jun made it a habit to not hit sick people.) 

That being said… the more Jun waited, and Nino whimpered when a particular wave rocked the boat just a little bit more, the more his impatience grew. 

Jun carefully smoothed Nino’s hair, frowning at the trembling form. “Are you sure you don’t want to head back to land? I’ll talk to Ohno-sensei about it, if you’d like, Nino.” 

Nino shook his head with a whimper. “No. Let him enjoy himself.” 

“You can barely move, Nino.” Jun frowned, glancing out of the small bunker and onto the deck where he could distinctly hear sounds of excitement. “He hasn’t even been by to see you yet.”

“Of course I can’t move - the boat is moving enough already.” Nino snapped, before whimpering pathetically and hiding his face with his hand. “Just go enjoy yourself, J. You’ve been wanting this holiday. Go flirt with your doctor. I’ll be fine on my own.” 

“I’m not going to enjoy myself if you’re suffering like this.” 

“...Matyr.”

“Selfless brat.” 

“You’re getting twitchy.” Nino mumbled, burying his face underneath the light sheet that was serving as a blanket when he realized turning to Jun meant seeing the bright sun outside.

“Of course I’m annoyed. Is your boyfriend going to check on you or what?” 

Jun tsked, wondering if this is what Nino meant about Ohno being distant and cold. He didn’t believe in interfering with other relationships, but Nino was his best friend, and if this was how Nino was going to be treated by Ohno....

“Kazu?” 

Jun nearly jumped a foot into the air when Ohno appeared by the door, forehead scrunched up in worry. 

_ About time.  _ Jun pursed his lips, but got out of the way and back into the sun when Ohno entered. 

Ohno knelt by the huddled form of Nino, who was still looking extremely pale and eyes shut tight, and gently reached forward to stroke Nino’s hair. “How are you feeling?” 

Nino moaned pathetically, hands extending outwards in askance of a cuddle, and Jun looked away pointedly when Ohno leaned forward to hug him. It felt a little too private, too intimate for Jun to want to willingly witness the scene, but his concern for Nino greatly outweighed the awkwardness his felt. Instead, he walked a slight distance away to the edge of the boat and leaned against the railings to observe the sea. 

He could only partly hear the conversation, but that was enough - Jun felt exceedingly annoyed with Ohno for his treatment of Nino just now, and he couldn’t just let that slide so easily. 

“...orry about just now…asn’t sensitive...ack?” 

“...can go and fish....stay here and...try to sleep.” 

“Hey.” Sho’s soft voice pulled Jun’s focus away from the conversation as Sho rested his arms on the railings and looked curiously at Jun. “You alright? We missed you up at the deck.” 

“Fine.” 

“You look a bit miffed. At Leader, perhaps?”

Jun sniffed. “It took him an hour to check on Nino. After offering him raw fish. Raw fish! To his boyfriend who looked more pale green than anything!”

Sho inhaled sharply. “Not one of Ohno-kun’s best moments, I admit, but he’s always a little slow like that. I’m sure Nino probably understa--” 

“Even if Nino understands, it doesn’t change the fact that that was insensitive. Nino doesn’t show it when he’s upset. He hides it with laughter or snark, and he always puts others before him.” Jun was practically seething  _ for _ Nino. Nino wouldn’t be mad at Ohno; for one, Nino was too miserable to be mad at anyone at this point of time. 

“Jun-san…” Sho hesitantly tugged Jun away by the elbow, further away from Ohno and Nino, and to the top of the deck where it was a lot quieter. Once there, the doctor reached up to pat Jun’s hair comfortingly, much to Jun’s surprise. “You’re really protective of Nino, aren’t you?” 

Whereas Jun would get annoyed with most people who played with his hair, the gentle weight of Sho’s palm on his hair calmed him somewhat. Jun huffed lightly. “He is my best friend, of course I’m protective of him.” 

“Well, I think they’ll be fine. Ohno seemed to realize himself down there. If it helps, he was distracted just now, and lost several fish. I think Aiba and I had better luck.” 

“He’d better have.” Jun pursed his lips and focused on the horizon. “I don’t like seeing Nino ill like that, even if it is just sea-sickness. It scares me.” 

“It’s very kind of you to care about your friend like that.” Sho peeked over the railings to check on Aiba, who was suddenly crying out for help when one of the rods twitched and started moving. “But this is your holiday too, so why not we go hang out with Aiba-chan while Leader takes care of Nino-san, before Aiba-chan tosses himself overboard?” 

Jun snorted at the imagery, and sighed in resignation. He wasn’t that angry with Ohno, but only annoyed at his lack of attention towards Nino, and Sho was right - it was very much in Ohno’s nature to do so, and Nino knew that as well as Jun. Not to mention, Jun did want to spend some time with Sho.

“That sounds like a good plan… But after I check on Nino. You should go and help Aiba-san.” 

“Ah, actually…” Jun and Sho nearly jumped when Ohno tapped their shoulders from behind. “If you guys don’t mind, I think we should go back to the shore. We can still fish, but Nino can at least be on land.” 

Sho shot Jun a knowing smile, reaching over to grab Jun’s hand and squeeze. Instantly, Jun felt his previous annoyance with Ohno deflate, and a blush to form. Despite the clear sign of affection, Ohno barely blinked at the hand hold, and was instead still shooting concerned looks over at the general direction of Nino, which meant that he wasn’t as much of an insensitive partner for Nino as he was a slow one. Turning to glance at Sho shyly, Jun returned Sho’s smile with one of his own. 

Perhaps Jun had nothing to worry about after all. 


	8. Summer Vacation, August

“Sho-san? What are you doing here?” 

Sho looked up from his phone, fingers poised over the screen mid-text as he turned to face the source of the familiar voice calling out to him. Balancing the tray of coffee with one hand, Sho hurriedly pocketed his phone and waved at friendly face. 

“Kazama-kun! It’s been a while!” Sho greeted his former ‘colleague’, grinning sheepishly at the confusion written all over Kazama’s face. “I’m here as a visitor, not for work, of course.” 

“I haven’t heard from you in what, nearly a decade? You’re a doctor now, aren’t you? Congratulations. Aiba-chan talks about you all the time.” 

Sho had nearly forgotten that out of the three, Aiba interacted the most with their colleagues from their idol days, whereas Sho had been too preoccupied with medical school (and overworking himself, to his present-self’s chagrin) to keep in touch with whatever friends and/or acquaintances he had made as a Johnny’s Jr. In fact, Ohno had a better track record than Sho did, in terms of people he still kept up with, but that was mainly because he had a lot of connections in the creative industries, which by extension, often led back to the entertainment industry. 

“And you’re a famous voice actor. I think my achievements pale in comparison to yours, Kazama-san.” Sho responded humbly, smiling when the younger man shook his head rapidly. 

“Nonsense, Sho-san. Or is it Sakurai-sensei now? Saving lives. Just like Aiba-chan. And Ohno-san is making a name for himself in the art world, isn’t he? Sakamoto-san mentioned he attended Ohno-san’s last exhibition. This is why so many Juniors admired the three of you.” 

Sho chuckled. “Until we left, right? The three of us in one go.” 

“Johnny-san was sad to see you go. Most of us were.” Kazama shot Sho a childish pout that reminded Sho of his adolescence. “Why didn’t you stay? I think Johnny-san was that close to letting the three of you debut as a group, right after you graduated.” 

“Ahhh….” Sho shrugged. “We all had our reasons. Wouldn’t have felt right either, if it was just the three of us. You now how it is.”

Kazama whistled lowly, and Sho was suddenly reminded why he and Aiba got along well - they were very similar in character, although Aiba was a lot more...liberal with his emotions. Kazama was just playful. 

“That’s the Sho-san I know. Stoic. Serious. Fiery.” 

Sho rolled his eyes. “That temper hasn’t quite disappeared yet, Kazama-kun.” 

He received a cheeky grin in response. “Had to try, Sho-san. So really, why are you here?” 

Sho reached to look at his phone again. “I’m meeting someone for lunch in… three minutes, actually.” Sho peered around the floor, grimacing at the flurry of movement and absence of Jun. “Perhaps I should find him instead, but he isn’t replying to my messages...”

“Who is this him?” Kazama inquired curiously, and Sho hesitated to answer. 

“He’s a new intern from Keio. Been working here since the start of August, so I’m not sure if you know him.” 

“Ah! Jun-kun? Everyone knows him.” His tone was half-amused, half in awe. “I think almost every concert-related department wants him; lights, production, costume design… And to add to that, he was assigned to the hardest talent to work with.”

“Eh?”

“Gackt-san.”

Sho grimaced instantly. No wonder Jun had always asked for coffee this morning when Sho messaged him in the morning. He remembered Gackt, the man debuting as a kei rock band around the same time Sho had entered the agency. Their group was popular, but Gackt himself, even more so. He had debuted as a solo artist the same time Sho had quit, but the few years where he had known and interacted with Gackt had left a very deep impression on Sho. 

He was serious about his music, but his ideas were very… unique, to say the least. The man was kind and extremely generous, but at the same time, he could be very stubborn; Sho vaguely remembered how the staff would be sent running around to make whatever desire Gackt dreamt up come true. The man was  _ that _ frightening. 

Of course, as a fellow junior of his, Sho was never put under the same stressors as the staff were, but merely being in his presence was a bizarre affair of wrapping his mind around Gackt’s ideology of life. 

Sho was suddenly extremely concerned about Jun’s sanity. Kazama must have noticed the alarm in Sho’s expression, and he hurriedly added, “you don’t have to worry! Gackt-san has taken a shine to Jun-kun, so really, I’m sure your companion will be fine.” 

The word ‘companion’ was promptly lost on Sho, who simply raised his eyebrows in disbelief. Gackt had taken a shine to Ohno as well, and had invited him to his home one day… Ohno came to school the following day, still stunned or terrified, Sho and Aiba couldn’t tell even to this day. 

“Okay maybe not fine, but Jun-kun seems to be a very capable person. I’m sure he’ll come out unscathed...ish.” Kazama’s uncertainty did not make Sho feel any better, and Sho grimaced as he looked at the time again. 

“Do you mind showing me to where Jun-san might be right now…?” Sho asked hesitantly, to which Kazama nodded good naturedly. 

“Of course, of course. Best rescue him. I heard from my manager that he has a propensity to work over lunch, so I’m quite surprised you’re meeting him, actually.” He gestured Sho to follow him as he led Sho further into the building, and into an elevator. 

The elevator was travelling up to the tenth floor when Kazama spun around and shot Sho a mischievous smile. “So, Aiba-chan mentioned about a certain patient of yours that you are interested in…” 

Sho rolled his eyes, inhaling deeply. “You and Aiba-chan need to stop gossiping over beer and mapo tofu.” 

“Must be Jun-kun, huh? The old Sho-kun back then wouldn’t have put this much effort for someone he wasn’t serious about.” 

Sho kept his lips stubbornly shut. Anything he said right now would end up in Aiba’s ears, Sho just knew it, and there was no way he was going to let said nosy psychologist get a hold of any additional information that can be used against Sho. 

“Oh, so that’s how it is, isn’t it?” Kazama laughed just as the elevator dinged and the doors opened to reveal a vaguely familiar hallway. “I do have a fiancée, Sho-san. I know how it goes.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Sure you don’t. Now, Gackt-san has a concert scheduled in early October, so I suspect the costume design department would sort of be in a need for extra people right now...” He cheerfully opened the door labelled ‘GACKT (COSTUME AND PROPS PRODUCTION)’, and nodded as he peered inside. “There you go.”

The room was surprisingly devoid of people - likely because it was the lunch hour, but there was a recognizable figure hunched over a drawing desk. Sho couldn’t help but sigh in exasperation at the sight, a small smile playing at his lips. 

“...O...kay, I shall leave you here, then. It was nice seeing you, Sho-san. I hope we keep in touch.” 

Sho nodded in thanks, and let the door close behind him. 

Jun barely shifted at the noise, earphones plugged in as his hands flew over the sketchpad. Sho whistled at the multitude of small sketches and notes scribbled on a single page.  _ Costume ideas, design themes, fabric swatches needed _ . Jun definitely looked as though he was in his zone, but Sho was getting hungry, and the two of them should really have lunch. 

Balancing the tray of coffee with one hand, Sho lightly tugged at one earphone, and Jun jerked in surprise.

“Hello.” Sho cheerfully greeted as he brought the coffee in front of Jun’s nose, holding it as a butler would offer a dinner plate. “How has your morning been?” 

Jun blinked in surprise, mouth falling open before hurriedly glancing at the clock behind him. “Oh! I’m so sorry! I…”

“...lost track of time.” Sho finished, still smiling as he nudged the coffee closer to Jun. “It’s alright. Would you be insulted if I told you I was expecting that to happen?”

Jun timidly grabbed the coffee and removed the other earphone from his ear. “Surprisingly, no. Let me just clean up and we can go for lunch. I didn’t realize how hungry I am, actually.” 

“Of course. Take your time. Do you have work after this?” 

“No. Gackt-san apparently has a date today and is impossible to work with when he’s dreaming about her, and I quote, ‘warm, soft body’.” Jun grimaced, then looked around hurriedly to make sure that no one else was present besides them two. “I didn’t tell you this.” 

Sho snorted. It sounded exactly like the Gackt he knew as a teenager. 

“Sounds exactly like him.” 

“You know him? Wait, how did you find me here?” Jun’s eyes narrowed suspiciously as he zipped up his messenger bag and slung it over his shoulder. Jun took a sip of the coffee, and suddenly Sho found himself enraptured by Jun’s bespectacled gaze staring at him over the coffee cup’s lid. 

“Old friend of mine.” Sho answered with a cryptic smile. “I’ll tell you over lunch. Come on. Kazama-san told me you have already gained a reputation of working overtime. Bad Jun.”

Jun flushed prettily at being caught, taking a large mouthful of his coffee to hide his embarrassment. 

xxxx

“You were under Johnny’s?!”

Sho nodded as he swallowed a mouthful of okonomiyaki, pointing to Jun’s own untouched yakisoba with his chopsticks as a reminder for Jun to eat his lunch. It was only when Jun had taken a bite, did Sho reply, “Why do you sound so surprised? I did mention I had an idol phase, didn’t I? I was a Johnny’s Jr until I graduated from high school. Afterwards I was accepted to Keio’s medical programme, and Aiba into their psychology programme, while Leader ended up in Geidai’s fine arts school.”

“You shared an apartment with Aiba-san, didn’t you?” Jun licked his bottom lip and smiled cheekily, “just curious, how animals did he keep in the apartment?” 

Sho nearly snorted out the iced tea that he had been drinking at the question, and glared as Jun laughed at his reaction. “That,” he coughed, “was low of you.”

“It was a valid question.” Jun defended with good humor. 

“To answer your question, the answer is none.” At the widening of Jun’s eyes, Sho quickly added, “but he did bring strays home very often. He even rescued a polecat once, and it somehow got into my sock cabinet.”

Sho remembered that incident very clearly - it happened very early in his degree, when he wasn’t too stressed with juggling examinations and work attachments. He was getting ready to leave for his lectures when the brown weasel popped out of the cabinet and hissed at Sho. Sho had shrieked loudly enough that Aiba came running to his room in concern… and was ecstatic at finding ‘Ita-chan’. Sho was not pleased, to say the least.

_ “Couldn’t you at least  _ tell _ me when you bring an animal home?” Sho complained as he watched the creature scurry into Aiba’s arms _ .

_ “Sorry Sho-chan, but, I swear he was asleep in my room when I went to bed last night. He must really like the smell of your socks.”  _

Jun laughed at Sho’s disgruntled pout after he finished his recount of the incident.

“It’s really not that funny, Jun-san.” Sho hoped he wasn’t whining, but he would not deny that he found Jun’s laughter captivating. 

“On the contrary, Sho-san, I find it very amusing.” Jun teased. “Tell me, does Aiba-san use your socks to lure in stray polecats nowadays?” 

Sho groaned. “I didn’t tell you this for you to use it against me.”

“Sorry to disappoint.” Jun bit his lip, eyes twinkling behind his glasses as he continued, “but I have to know, does your laundry soap smell like the den of polecat?”

Sho certainly did not throw a clean piece of tissue at Jun. 

xxxx

Truth be told, Sho was already approaching his limit regarding his patience towards the progress of their relationship - or friendship, Sho had to sullenly admit.  Admittedly, they had only known each other for less than three months, and while Sho wouldn’t say that they had gotten off on the wrong foot, he wouldn’t claim that immediate sparks had flown between them either. 

To be accurate, sparks had flown from Sho towards Jun. The other way around, Sho wouldn’t know, although if he was reading Nino’s motivations right, then there might be some chance. 

The catch was that if he  _ had _ read Nino’s motivations correctly. The photography major had been sending him pictures of Jun in many different candid shots ever since Sea Day - one of which included Jun still half naked from a shower, with only a towel wrapped around his waist and hair wet. Paired with black-framed spectacles, Nino perfectly framed Jun as a form of angelic innocence that Sho was just dying to kiss. 

That man was good with his camera, Sho was not going to deny that. Simultaneously, Sho wanted to throw something at that brat, who always delivered the photos via Ohno, meaning that Sho couldn’t stare at them for five whole minutes as soon as he got them. The more rational, logical side of Sho was telling him that he should confront Nino and tell him to stop sending Sho such compromising photos of Jun, but who was Sho kidding… he kept every one of the photos in his bedside drawer, unwilling to throw them away. 

Sho did occasionally feel as though he was being perverted for keeping such (mildly) compromising pictures of Jun, but he exercised enough self-restraint to not revisit the photos, and it made him feel slightly better about himself.

After their small hand-hold on the boat, little had progressed between them. Besides the small dinners and lunches the two had over the weekends, as well as their small conversations over LINE that never failed to set Sho’s heart fluttering, all those did was to make Sho more entranced and curious about the person that was Matsumoto Jun. 

Jun was exceedingly private about what he did in work - which made sense of course, for Sho never told Jun that he likely knew about half of people Jun worked with, and so their conversations rarely spoke about his internship. Rather, Jun would ask him about what strange cases Sho had over the week, and Sho would indulge Jun in as many funny or peculiar cases as he could (without breaching patient confidentiality, of course. Sho was responsible). 

In exchange, Sho learnt more about Jun and what it was like to room with a gamer/hikikomori that was dating his academic advisor, and Jun’s motivations for studying what he was doing. They swapped stories of their family, albeit with slight wary from both ends, for Sho rarely told people that his father owned one of the largest private hospitals in Tokyo, nor did Jun often find motivation to tell people that none of his family members saw any profit or use in him majoring in the arts. 

It struck Sho how similar their backgrounds were, but at the same time, he could see where their similarities ended, in terms of their ambitions and the source of it. Sho was pressured by his family - Jun pressured himself. Whereas Sho felt he could understand Jun’s motivations for doing what he was doing, and why he had such high expectations for himself, he would not go so far as to say he could relate. Nevertheless, Sho would still do his best to watch over Jun, 

Returning back to the topic of the lack of progress between their relationship… Sho wanted to change that soon. Now that he knew Jun had the afternoon off, perhaps he could make it happen. 

xxxx

The moment Jun brought up that he was considering to return back to the HQ and shadow the lighting and visuals department, Sho shot him a flat look and told him, “no.” 

“But, it’s interesting! And Gackt-san’s ‘requests’ are always really complex so --” 

Sho rolled his eyes, grabbing Jun’s hand - ignoring how Jun’s defense died to a squeak at the action - and pulled him towards his car. “You said you had the afternoon off, therefore you should enjoy your afternoon off. No work talk.” 

“But--”

Sho paused abruptly in his steps, interrupting Jun as he crashed into Sho’s shoulder with a grunt. Turning around, he mustered his most apologetic face - not that he didn’t quite enjoyed seeing the pout on Jun’s face. The fact that it was merely a pout and not the signature glare that Aiba had informed him about - “it can wither your soul, Sho-chan!” - informed Sho that Jun wasn’t angry, nor was he that insistent in returning back to work. 

Which meant that Sho had a very good chance of convincing him otherwise.

“It’s your birthday in less than a week, isn’t it? Next… tuesday.” 

Jun nodded, then narrowed his eyes in suspicion. “How did you know that?” 

“Patient history. And there is absolutely no way you would even think to take the day off, right?” 

“No…” 

The words spilled out of Sho before he could even control himself. “So let me take you out this afternoon to enjoy yourself. Consider it a date, if you’d like.” 

Jun’s eyes widened at the words, eyebrows raised high at the statement. 

“I-I mean, well, as in, proverbially, you know,” Sho hurriedly sputtered, looking away from Jun’s surprised expression and then feeling his cheeks warm when he realized they were still holding hands, initiated by Sho, no less. Jun’s eyes traced the direction of Sho’s flustered eyes to their held hands. Despite their sudden precarious position, Sho was pleasantly surprised when Jun did not try to remove his hand from Sho’s grip, instead tilting his head at Sho and smiling shyly. 

Sho felt his nervousness fade at the smile, confidence building in him as Jun teasingly tugged on Sho’s hand, Jun’s smile turning into a toothy grin. 

“Well, Sho-san. If it’s going to be a date… you’ll have to impress me.” 

Sho had no words to describe the surge of elation he felt upon hearing Jun’s words. Instead, he tightened his grip around Jun’s hand, and with a wide smile, pulled Jun forward. “What do you think of Odaiba and its onsens?” 

xxxx

Sho wasn’t going to be in denial anymore - the afternoon turned out too date-like to be, by any means platonic, and Sho was fairly certain that Jun felt the same. He felt really proud of himself as well, as he let himself be led by an eager Jun along Palette Town, the younger man looking much happier, healthier, and relaxed since Sho picked him up from Johnny’s. 

The two did not spend too long in the onsen area, Jun deciding that it had been too long since he had visited the faux-medieval styled mall that was Venus Fort. Sho agreed as well; he hadn’t had this much fun with someone in a long time, visiting tourist spots and trying on random camouflage-themed bucket hats that Jun decided would look good on him. 

(Not to mention, Sho wasn’t sure what he would do if he had to see Jun in a yukata any longer than he had - Jun’s skin flushed pink from the hot spring water and looking refreshed… forget Nino’s paparazzi-esque pictures; Sho had the image of Jun’s naked back and shoulders imbedded in his memory.)

The sun was just beginning to set when Jun excitedly pulled Sho by the hand towards Daikanransha, the ferris wheel that towered above Odaiba. Sho's eyes widened at the sight of the large wheel, and instinctively dug his heels onto the ground (even though it was impossible given that they were on pavement). Jun turned around in surprise, feeling Sho stop behind him. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Sho swallowed thickly, but forced himself to smile. “No no, nothing is wrong. I thought I saw something in the sky, that’s it.” 

Jun looked at him curiously, then at the ferris wheel that Sho was nervously staring at. “Are you afraid of heights, Sho-san?”

“N-no!” Sho hurriedly stammered, internally cursing when Jun adopted a suspiciously smug and sadistic smile. “I’m not afraid of heights at all, of course.” 

“That’s good, Sho-san. Because I heard the ferris wheel over here has clear gondolas, and I want to get on one.” 

“W-what? Clear gondolas? Why would you want to ride that?” Sho could feel himself turning pale at the prospect, but Jun merely shrugged, and then directed his large, bright eyes at Sho.

“Because I want to see what Odaiba looks like from above, and the clear gondolas have transparent flooring.” Sho inhaled sharply at the description, feeling his panic rise slightly. However, the puppy eyes Jun was directing him made it impossible for Sho to say no, especially when Jun said, “please? Today is sort of an early birthday present, isn’t it?’

Sho looked up to the sky and slowly nodded reluctantly, suspecting he would not enjoy the process as Jun cheered and tugged Sho to the ticket counter. 

He definitely did not enjoy the process. 

“Don’t look down. Do not look down. We are not a few hundred metres up in the air. WE ARE NOT.” 

Jun looked highly amused at Sho’s building fear and almost crazy mumblings as Sho pressed himself to the corner of the gondola, eyes wide as he clutched tightly only to the bench. As Jun slid over closer to Sho, the gondola shifted to the side due to the change in weight distribution and Sho nearly flailed as he hurriedly cried out, “don’t move!” 

His cries were ignored by Jun, who rolled his eyes and promptly crossed the small space to sit right next to Sho; the gondola once again swayed in the air and tilted more conspicuously at the added weight in Sho’s side and corner. “Sho-san…” Jun started slowly, reaching forward to touch Sho, who instantly pressed himself even closer to the corner, closing his eyes as he slapped away Jun’s hand. 

“Hey, don’t touch me! Don’t touch me now! T-the weight of the two of us--” 

“-will not cause the gondola to fall.” Jun interrupted, seizing Sho’s flailing hands by his wrists and lowering them down onto Sho’s lap. Jun sounded amused, but all Sho could do was focus on not hyperventilating as he felt their gondola continue to rise. 

_ 16 minutes. The ride would only last for 16 minutes _ . Sho thought feverishly, but froze when a warm hand patted the side of his face and rested there. 

“I thought you said you weren’t afraid of heights?” Jun’s voice sounded temptingly close to Sho’s face, but Sho refused to open his eyes, knowing that if he did, he’d likely see how they were more than a hundred metres off the ground and steadily rising. 

“I’m n-not afraid of h-heights.”

“Then why don’t you open your eyes?” Jun teased, and Sho felt himself calming slightly as Jun’s thumb lightly stroked his cheekbone. The idea was very tempting, Sho had to be honest, especially when Jun was touching him like this, but Sho did not really want to see what was below them. 

“I have s-something in it, o-of course.” 

“Liar. You’re totally afraid.” 

Sho huffed, pouting at the tease. He heard Jun laugh softly, hand retracting from his cheek to rest on Sho’s hands instead. 

“You should have told me that you were afraid of heights.”

“But you wanted to go up here.” 

This time, Jun snorted. “Well I would still have dragged you up here even if you told me you were afraid, just to see your reaction.” 

Sho squawked in indignation, this time nearly opening his eyes -  _ nearly  _ \- just to glare at Jun. “Cruel.” 

“I do try, Sho-san.” Jun’s hands - they were warm, and smooth - shifted to cup Sho’s face, and Sho felt his breath catch in his throat when Jun’s warm weight pressed against his side. “You’re cute like this.”

“I do try, Jun-san.” Sho croaked, repeating Jun’s previous answer as his heart began to race.  _ What was Jun doing? _ Sho wondered, hope rising in his chest. He suddenly felt the urge to open his eyes, just to see where Jun was, and how close they were to each other, but Sho scarcely dared to even imagine what was going to happen.  _ Did Jun just call him cute?  _ “What are you doing?” 

Sho felt Jun’s chuckle near him. “Why don’t you open your eyes and see, Sho-san? The view is very pretty from here. I can see Tokyo Tower much clearer from your side, and the Rainbow Bridge as well. We’re right at the top of the wheel right now.” 

“As tempting as that sounds, no thank you.” 

“Really, Sho-san? After this entire day, you wouldn’t even let me see your pretty eyes when I have the best view of Tokyo Bay around us?” 

“You think my eyes are pretty?” Sho squeaked. For some strange reason, Sho felt as though the tables have turned between them two. Forgetting his nervousness (well, Sho pretended to forget his panic, just momentarily), Sho nervously licked his lips.  _ Was Jun...flirting with him? _

Next to him, Jun hummed. “Very pretty. Especially when you look at me with those irresistable puppy look of yours. You aren’t playing fair when you use that, by the way.” 

“Sorry. Is there any way I could make it up to you?” 

“Open your eyes?”

Sho scoffed, trying to keep his tone light-hearted as he continued, “Yeah, so, that isn’t enough to make me open my eyes, Jun-san.” 

“What if I offer something more in return?” 

This time, Sho felt Jun’s warm breath near his lips; he couldn’t help but hold his breath as he softly breathed out, “Like?”

“How about… a kiss?”

Sho could not open his eyes any faster. Before he could process the height they were at, Jun’s soft lips met his in a gentle kiss. For a moment, Sho wondered if Jun had any experience in kissing because,  _ hot damn _ , Jun was a really good kisser. Sho wasn’t going to lose, of course (even though it wasn’t really a competition), and as Jun dropped his hands to his lap, Sho pulled Jun close with his hand around Jun’s nape; he felt smug satisfaction when Jun let out a pleased sigh, their lips parting momentarily before meeting once again in another small kiss. 

And another, this time much longer. Warmth curled up in Sho’s stomach and chest, an indescribable happiness blooming at having Jun this close to him, kissing him. 

Eventually, Sho felt Jun reluctantly part, cheeks flushed a cute pink as he shyly looked away from Sho, but not making a motion to move away from Sho. Instead, he leaned against Sho and casted his gaze far away to the sky. Sho joined him as well, acrophobia forgotten for a moment as he took in the beautiful, cloudless evening; At the horizon, closest to the setting sun, the sky was brilliant splash of crimson that eventually bled to a pink-purple. 

Sho’s heart stuttered in his chest  _ (the medical term was Arrhythmia)  _ when he turned and saw Jun, painted in the fading light. 

“If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to want to kiss you, Sho-san.” Jun murmured as he squeezed Sho’s wrist without really looking at Sho. Sho did not let that deter him, continuing to look at Jun and admiring the view despite being fully aware that staring was never a polite thing to do. 

“Don’t really care.”

“The ferris wheel operator would care, when he opens the door and finds us lip-locked.”

Sho pouted. Jun made a fair point. 

“But…” Sho perked up when Jun turned to look at him with that dazzling smile of his, “maybe… I’ll let you kiss me once you feed me dinner.”

“Sushi?” 

“I should warn you, I have an expensive taste when it comes to sushi.” 

 


	9. Summer Vacation, August/September Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating was raised. Yes.   
> June = Finals month, so I shall go on a hiatus for two to three weeks. Hopefully once that is done, I'm going to finish this entire fic fast. >>

Jun had a brilliant birthday that August. 

He went to work, because… he had to go to work, of course. But Sho had picked Jun up right after his work ended, dressed charmingly in a pair of very tight jeans coordinated with a pastel pink dress shirt which Jun approved of, and his boyfriend (boyfriend! Jun was dating a hot doctor with an excellent and charming personality who was very conscious of Jun’s welfare - he had no words to describe his elation) had taken him to dinner. 

Jun had felt exceeding grimy after the long day at work despite not even having left the building in the first place. Gackt wanted to review the setlist for the n-th time, despite only being less than a month to the tour. As a result, Jun, along with the rest of the concert planning tour, wanted to bash their heads in with the sudden potential changes. However, when Sho greeted him with a kiss on the lips and told him he looked great…

Yes, Jun was turning into a sap. One couldn’t blame him - Sho was sweet and attentive, and it was not difficult to fall in love with someone who showered Jun which so much attention.

Sho brought him to a soba place in Omotesando that night, sheepishly confessing to doing research on the best places for soba in Tokyo after hearing from Aiba that Jun liked soba. The effort earned Sho a long kiss in the car, one that nearly entered the territory of ‘making-out’ if not for the fact that Jun was  _ hungry _ and his stomach decided to growl mid-kiss. 

To be fair, it was his fault for missing lunch... as long as Sho didn’t know he skipped lunch. However, Jun suspected Sho somehow knew that he skipped lunch anyway, for the man ordered a  _ lot  _ of food under the pretense of being big eater, but left more than half of it to Jun. Jun honestly doesn’t know how Sho  _ knew _ , but he couldn’t help but flush in slight embarrassment.

“I have something for you.” Sho started after they had eaten their fill and had taken a drive around Roppongi. 

Jun look at Sho in surprise. “Whatever for?” 

“Your birthday, of course. What kind of question is that?” Sho sounded vaguely amused as he parked near Jun’s apartment, reaching to the back-seat to hand Jun a clumsily wrapped box. The box wasn’t very large, wide enough to wrap his hand around the its circumference. He couldn’t help but smile at the wrapping, lightly brushing his finger at the slightly lop-sided ribbon.

Sho must have hand-wrapped it. The thought made Jun snort. Who knew a doctor would have poor wrapping skills. Sho seemed proud of his effort though, and Jun couldn’t bear to tease the poor man, especially when Sho had such a cute and proud expression on his face. 

“You didn’t have to.”

“What are you talking about? I’m your boyfriend, aren’t I? Now go on, open it.” Sho gestured for Jun to do so with his hand. This time, Jun did laugh at his eagerness, blushing lightly at Sho’s ‘boyfriend’ declaration. 

They had only been together for one week after all, but Jun couldn’t understand how Sho could easily turn him back into a blushing teenager whenever Jun was around him. Jun was certain he had left those days years ago, once he entered university; yet here he was, smiling like an idiot along with Sho as Jun undid the ribbon and pulled the tape as  _ slowly _ as he could. 

“Now you’re just making me wait!” Sho complained. Jun threw him a cheeky grin and tutted in good humour. 

“It’s my present. I can take my time to unwrap it.” 

Sho pouted, his bottom lip sticking out temptingly. “But, but…”

Jun quickly silenced Sho with a kiss, lightly teasing the luscious bottom lip with his tongue. The surprised squeak the action earns from Sho made Jun feel extremely satisfied, for once, having control of the situation - a rare occasion besides the ferris wheel incident. 

That wasn’t to say that Jun didn’t like how mature and dominating Sho was. Dominating wasn’t even the appropriate word, for Sho never made a concerted effort to overshadow or control Jun. Rather, Sho was the - dare Jun really think it - perfect supportive boyfriend for Jun: they shared a mutual respect for each other’s occupations, and perhaps it might be related to Sho’s older age, but Jun could always rely on him for advice. The former was more important for Jun, of course. Jun couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with someone who didn’t understand Jun’s motivations and dreams, and by extension, his work ethic. It was almost  _ nice _ being in a relationship with someone who had a similar working habits as Jun and didn’t question his sanity. 

Just as Sho began to respond to Jun’s surprise kiss, Jun moved away teasingly, gleefully noting the dark expression of arousal in his eyes, tongue flicking out to lick where Jun’s had been at. 

“Tease.”

“I do try.” Jun replied airily, resuming the opening of his present and barely repressing his elation at receiving a present from Sho. He wondered what Sho would give him, to be honest. 

(Nino’s ‘gift’ to him that morning was Nino waking up before Jun left for work and making him an omelet with ‘Hbd - N <3’ scrawled in ketchup. Jun appreciated the sentiment, for he knew it was a lot of effort coming from a man who went to bed less than three hours before Jun was due to leave the apartment, and someone who often relied on Jun to feed him proper, home-cooked food.)

His heart fluttered at the sight of a ceramic travel mug with a lid, perfect for someone like Jun who needed coffee on a daily basis to function. The design was a simple white, but it looked as though it was customized with sharpie drawings and a ‘This is MJ’s! Drink at your own risk!’ scribbled in Sho’s handwriting. Jun was entirely aware of the goofy smile on his face and Sho’s focused gaze directed at him. Nonetheless, that did not stop Jun from snorting in laughter when he turned around and saw, 

“Is that supposed to be a cat?” 

“It’s a tiger!” Sho defended with a huff, pointing at the uniform stripe pattern on the happy looking ‘ _ tiger _ ’. “Isn’t it obvious?”

Jun brought the wrapping paper next to the cat, or ‘tiger’, and looked pointedly at Sho. “For all I knew, you were trying coordinate with the wrapping paper. And the family of ...platypuses?” He gestured to the border of admittedly cute border of billed creatures.

“They’re ducks!” 

Jun had to inhale deeply to stop himself from cracking up in laughter. His attempt to do so failed, however, and Sho crossed his arms in front of his chest, face petulant as Jun laughed his fill. When Jun finally caught his breath, he reached over to kiss Sho’s cheek. 

“I love it. Thank you. Your platypuses and cat are adorable.” 

“You’re just teasing me. I’m totally getting Leader to draw for me next time.” Sho sulked, but relaxed when Jun poked his cheek, expression happy. 

“Please don’t. I love your doodles. They’re very you. It’s nice to see that there’s nothing you aren’t good at.” Jun chuckled, turning the mug in genuine pleasure, then freezing when he saw the base of the mug. 

_ ‘With love, Sho. _ ’

Love… was it really love? Jun wondered if it was possible to fall in love with someone you’ve only known for a few months. It wasn’t something Jun was keen to think about, his doubt that is, right then, especially when Sho was looking at him with a fond smile after Jun’s comment on loving his drawings. Clutching the mug to his chest, Jun couldn’t help but feel shy as he asked, “Would you like to come upstairs?”

He didn’t want to see Sho go yet.

Sho looked faintly surprised at his invitation, but nodded eagerly, setting Jun’s heart fluttering like a teenager finally managing to get some private time with their crush. 

“One question though… but aren’t you supposed to discourage me from drinking too much caffeine, Sakurai- _ sensei _ ?” 

Sho smiled at him sheepishly as he grabbed Jun’s messenger bag for him, ignoring Jun’s efforts to take it from Sho. “I figured now that I’m with you, you would take up a semi-healthier caffeine intake.” 

“Is that code for, you don’t want to deal with my cranky un-caffeinated self?”

Sho rolled his eyes. “I would never think so.” 

Xxxxx

Jun couldn’t help but feel nervous as he led Sho up to the fourth floor of his apartment building. It was not because Nino was likely to be home and going to make a snarky comment on Sho’s presence, nor was it because Jun's and Nino's apartment wasn't fancy (it was just a small 2LDK, sufficient for 2 university students who lived off scholarships and part-time jobs). Jun was extremely certain Sho wouldn't care about those two points, but… it was his first time bringing someone home, even if it wasn't for bedroom activities. 

(There was no way Jun was going to do  _ anything _ of  _ that _ sort if Nino was next door. For one, Jun was certain Nino had voyeuristic tendencies when it came to Jun’s love life.)

“Are you nervous?” Sho asked amusingly when Jun fiddled around for the proper keys, fingers just barely trembling. Jun flushed, not wanting to meet Sho’s eyes as he stuck the key into the lock. “Your fingers are trembling.”

“No, they're not.” Jun’s tone was sharp, but it barely seemed to faze Sho as the doctor leaned over and covered Jun’s hand with his.

“Yes, they are. It's cute. You've never brought anyone home before?” 

Jun glanced over at Sho for a moment, noting with embarrassment that Sho wasn't judging him, merely looking over at him with gentle interest, head tilted. Perhaps he was wondering how on earth a 23, no, 24-year-old man could have gone without dating anyone for that long, for Jun wondered the same thing ever since he started crushing on Sho like a schoolboy. 

Right, academics and projects before love life.

“Nope.” Jun did not wait for Sho’s response as he turned the doorknob, tugging Sho into the genkan and locking it behind him. The apartment was naturally filled with the soft sounds of one of Nino’s games, likely Mario Party 8 from the sounds of it. “Nino. I’m home.” 

“Hit that Monty Mole in the corner, Aibaka! Not the bloody carrots - I’m supposed to be collecting the carrots! You’re bashing the stupid moles!”

“Wait but, but, which screen are we at?” 

“LEFT!” 

‘ _ Aiba-ka…? _ ’ Jun traded a stunned look with Sho, before almost hurriedly peeking into the living room to be met with the sight of Nino  _ and Aiba _ , sprawled on the couch and wii remote in hand. 

“You have to be kidding me.” 

“Jun-pon. I see that you’re home.” Nino greeted, eyes still glued onto the television screen as his character - Wario - loaded the carrots onto the back of a bumper truck, clock still ticking with less than ten seconds left. Aiba, on the other hand, had far less focus than Nino, quickly turning to wave at Jun when he noticed Sho casually peeking over Jun’s shoulder, and perked up instantly, his Yoshi character failing to whack the remaining monty moles on the the screen. 

“Matsujun! Happy Birthda-- Sho-chan! You’re here too!” 

“Aiba-kun. You’re here?” Sho sounded more amused than surprised, having already expected the pair to hit it off as well despite the age difference. Jun didn’t blame him - Aiba and Nino got along  _ too _ well during Sea day, and that thought was what scared Jun the most. Who knew what antics the pair could get up to?

“EH?” The clock ticked to zero just as Nino swerved to look at them, eyes wide with surprise. His surprised look turned into a devious smirk as he wiggled his fingers at Sho in glee. “Well, well, hello, Sho-chan. It has been a while. Planning for an interesting night?”

Jun rolled his eyes, totally expecting Nino’s response. Surveying the room for the presence of any animals and finding none, Jun nodded and pulled Sho into the direction of his room, not bothering to grace Nino’s question with an answer. 

“It’s nice seeing you, Aiba-san. We’ll be in my room.” 

Nino traded a look with Aiba, and Jun distinctively heard Aiba whisper, “does Matsujun have… you-know-what?” to Nino. Sho burst out laughing, but blood rushed to Jun’s cheeks at the question. 

“Lube and protection is in the bathroom, Jun-pon.” 

“There’s no way we’ll be doing anything with you two voyeurs in the living room!” 

“Don’t be a killjoy.” Nino snarked just as Jun closed his door behind Sho, almost rushing to lock the door before sighing and dropping on his bed and closing his tired eyes.

Thankfully, his room was always clean, and he had no concerns of Sho looking around his room. The only area that was ever in a semi-messy state was his workspace, his copic markers scattered across the table and one of his sketchbooks (he had many, of course) opened from where he stopped last night. Next to him, the bed sank slightly as Sho sat on the edge of his bed, gently patting Jun’s hand.

“So... we would be doing ‘something’ if the apartment was empty?” 

Jun kept his eyes closed as he felt the air shift in front of him, mattress next to his head sinking slightly, followed by a warm breath against his lips alerted him to the fact that Sho was looming above him. Even with his eyes closed, Jun could feel his heart racing at their closeness. 

His mouth dried.

“I’m not going to answer that question.” Jun hoped his voice wasn’t squeaking and giving away his nerves. 

“Your nervousness is very charming, I have to say.” 

That comment Jun open his eyes, fiercely meeting Sho’s gaze with his own. His cheeks were thankfully still warm from Aiba’s not-innocuous-at-all question, meaning that Sho couldn’t tell how affected Jun was from the fact that  _ Sho was leaning right over Jun and trapping him. _ From their closeness, Jun could make out even the dark brown - almost black - colour of Sho’s irises, looking intensely at Jun. “I’m not nervous!”

“Of course you’re not.” Sho teased. 

For whatever reason, Jun found himself enjoying this side of Sho - teasing and dark as much as he liked Sho’s charming side (and his awkward side was just adorable). It was refreshing and undeniably alluring, for Jun had never seen this side of Sho, as though Sho reserved it for Jun. 

Nevertheless....

“I’m not.” Jun repeated, steeling his nerves and he reached to wrap a hand around Sho’s nape. Even if Jun was nervous, he had no intentions of showing it to the doctor. Not a chance. To prove his point, he pulled Sho down for a slow kiss, sighing when Sho deepened the kiss and lightly nibbled at his bottom lip, to which Jun responded by running his fingers through Sho’s hair. Jun couldn’t help but giggle slightly at the situation - he definitely felt like a teenager, messing around with his boyfriend behind locked doors. 

“Why are you laughing?” Sho breathlessly asked when they parted for air. 

Jun explained, then laughing with Sho as Sho buried his face into the crook of Jun’s shoulder. 

“I’m not sure how to feel about this, being likened to a hormonal teenager.” Sho huffed in good humor, his moist breath warming up Jun’s skin and sending a jolt of pleasure between Jun’s legs, the pleasure intensifying when Sho began to suck against the skin there. “I think I’m a lot better than them. Would you like me to prove it?”

Jun should have pointed out that he wouldn’t be able to make a fair comparison, but with the small bites and wet kisses Sho was plastering against his jaw, Jun wasn’t going to bother. “If you think you can.” 

And that was how Jun learnt what an excellent kisser Sho was within the short three minutes of Sho sucking a hickey on his jaw (Jun could always use the concealer he reserved for his models, not a problem at all), before Jun got impatient and pulled Sho up to reunite their lips in a kiss that was by no means  _ innocent _ . 

However, as much as Jun enjoyed Sho taking control of this kiss, he wasn’t willing to let Sho have all the fun. With that thought in mind, Jun roughly bit at Sho’s bottom lip, smiling against the sudden gasp the action drew out of Sho. Taking advantage of the doctor’s distracted state, Jun wrapped his arms around Sho’s neck and twined his legs around Sho’s. With a jerk to shift the balance of their weights, Jun flipped their positions.

Sho grunted in surprise when his back met the mattress with a muffled thud, eyes bright and wide with their change, with Jun now looming above the older man as he straddled Sho’s hips.

Jun had to admit, he quite enjoyed seeing Sho underneath like that, lips wet and kiss-bitten, hair tousled from Jun’s finger. He wondered what he, himself looked like as well, for he hasn't recalled ever feeling this  _ excited _ , blood thrumming through his veins and making him itch to run his hands down Sho’s bare skin. The very thought ran a shiver of lust down Jun’s spine - he had yearned to touch Sho on a less professional basis since he had seen and grazed Sho’s sculpted body more than one month ago. And now, said person with said gorgeous body was underneath Jun, despite still being clothed in the cotton pink dress shirt that Jun was so  _ close _ to ruining. 

He would refrain, of course, even though it was so tempting. Instead, he rested his hands on Sho’s chest, watching how Sho’s eyes darkened and feeling the thrilling swell of Sho against Jun’s thigh as he teasingly ran his hands up and down Sho's clothed torso. “Hello.”

Oh how he wished the shirt wasn't in the way. Well, their shirts. And pants. The sound of Nino screeching at Aiba for pushing him off-course was an unfortunate reminder, however, that they weren't alone, and as such Jun refrained. 

Nevertheless, it seemed as though Sho didn't share the same thoughts, hands - his large, warm, steady hands - sliding beneath Jun’s shirt to stroke at the skin just underneath his ribcage. The long soothing strokes of Sho’s soft fingers left trails of heat against Jun’s skin, his breath catching in his throat at the action. 

“Can I see you?” 

Sho’s tone was low, question almost a growl as his fingers grazed against Jun’s nipples. The brief contact drew a soft gasp from Jun, and he nodded almost too eagerly, tugging his shirt away with Sho’s help and throwing it in the random direction of  _ anywhere _ . 

With his naked torso exposed to Sho, Jun couldn’t help but feel uncertain; he had never done any of this before, and being stared at by Sho was nerve-wrecking. It was swiftly erased however, when Sho reverently ran his hands down Jun’s chest, then up and around his shoulders. 

“You’re gorgeous,” Sho breathed. Jun warmed at the compliment, looking away shyly to the sheets. He did not look away for long, for Sho had reached out to cup his cheek. “You are.” Sho reasserted. 

Flushing, Jun began to undo the first few buttons of Sho’s shirt to draw attention away from himself. He leaned over to kiss the skin that was revealed from the action, then roughly nipped at Sho’s Adam’s apple. Sho groaned at the action, reaching down to grab Jun’s hips to pull him closer. The action caused their hard-ons to brush against each other, Jun gasping at the new but exceedingly pleasurable action. 

“Fuck.” Jun panted against Sho’s neck, processing the sensation and lightly rolling his hips to repeat the contact.

“Not tonight.” Sho rumbled in good humor as he allowed Jun to take in the sensations, the tightening of his grip on Jun’s hip a sign of his own arousal. “I hate to stop this, but I can’t promise to control myself if you keep on doing that, and I figure you don’t want to do this when there are people outside your room.”

Jun whined at the reminder, wrestling his self control and pouting as he removed himself on top of Sho to rest next to him, purposefully ignoring the throbbing from between his legs. Unfortunately, the two of them were rational. 

“I wouldn’t mind, to be honest, but I don’t think you’ll be able to keep your voice down. And I don’t want you to be limping at work tomorrow.” 

Jun groaned into Sho’s shoulder at the statement.  _ Fuck _ . Sho snorted at his response, lightly tugging at Jun’s hand. When he peeked up, Sho merely stated, “Kiss me.”

He did, lazily running his tongue between Sho’s lips until the man parted them, their tongue dancing in a far less feverish pace, as though mimicking a cool-down period. 

When they finally parted (again), Sho pressed his forehead against Jun’s.

“I have a question.”

“Hm?” Jun hummed incomprehensibly, nuzzling closer to Sho.

“My sister is getting married in February.” 

“O….kay?” Jun couldn’t help but feel confused at the statement. February, for one, was still months away.

“Will you come with me, as my partner?”

His heart raced at the question. 

_ Best. Birthday. Ever.  _

\--

If August was great, September was brilliant for Jun, especially now that Jun had entered the zone of love-sick-puppy whenever he thought of Sho, saw Sho, or spoke to or of Sho. Even Nino found him sickeningly sweet, which is something given that Nino and Ohno was about the most fluffiest pair Jun had ever seen. The travel mug Sho had gotten him was brought to work everyday, and despite the strange looks he received when he told his co-workers, no, he had no younger sibling who customized the mug for him, Jun was happy. 

So happy that his productivity went up at work, even with the increased workload and short trips out of Tokyo to conduct checks on the concert sites as the tour loomed closer. Nothing erased his tiredness faster than seeing Sho, or receiving a call from Sho in the middle of the night when Jun was still on set in Nagoya, while Sho had just finished or started his shift that day.

It was perfect. 

xxxx

“Jun-kun? Officially, your internship is ending next week, right?” 

“With the end of the summer vacation, yes.”

“Well, given your exemplary work these past two months, we were wondering if you’d like to continue working here with us, once your internship ends.”

\--

“Ohchan.” 

Ohno hummed as he brushed at the clay to add the final detailing of the sculpture. “Kazu, I wasn’t expecting you.” 

“I was speaking to Aiba-shi, yesterday.”

“Oh?” 

“Were you ever going to tell me about your overseas exhibition next spring?”


	10. Fall Semester, October

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter is in Sho's POV, then in Nino's. POV change marked with '--'. 
> 
> <3 to she-who-betaed-this :3

“Sho-chan….. You’re not even going to eat the cheesecake I brought you?” Aiba’s voice was small as he pushed the slice of cake closer to the downtrodden looking doctor. “It’s from that place you really like, near the rescue shelter.”

Sho could only force a smile as he took the offered plastic fork, taking a small slice. For once, his favourite dessert tasted like cardboard, and it was no surprise why.

“It’s good, thank you, Aiba-chan.”

Even his own voice sounded strained to his ears. Someone like Aiba would have zero problems picking out the lie in his words.

“Don’t lie to me, Sho-chan.”

Sho ducked his head in slight apology, then sighed. “I’m sorry, Aiba-chan. Just…”

_Nothing felt right. No matter how hard he tried to smile, or be positive, nothing felt right. Not when…_

“Have you spoken to him yet?” Aiba asked gently, concerned eyes flickering to Ohno, also slouched over and slowly playing with his food.

Sho couldn’t help but feel concerned for Ohno as well - it seemed like the two of them were having love-related problems, and poor Aiba was trying to deal with the aftermath.

Sho was trying, he really was, but he hadn’t expected everything to go wrong.

Less than two months ago, he was so happy and so in love - he was still in love - finally able to _be_ with Jun, to hold him, to kiss him, to share all those little moments with him… Yet now, he had barely spoken to Jun for the past half a month.

It was difficult, remembering how to smile.

The hospital had a small event for the paediatric ward where the younger doctors - like Sho, would be sent to distribute candy to the children for Halloween. However, his House Officer, Okada-sensei had decided against Sho doing so this year, stating that his mood would only scare the children instead. Sho had apologized, but his supervisor merely patted his shoulder and told him that: “The path of true love never did run smooth.”

True love. Had it really been true love? Sho had wondered that every waking minute since Jun walked away from him, the two of them having likely felt equally betrayed, equally hurt, equally misunderstood.

xxxx

Just several weeks prior - not even a month, Sho had enough. He had a lot of doubt when Jun called him that night, voice excited and happiness practically _leaking through_ the phone, yet Sho had pushed away his concern to congratulate Jun for securing the ‘extended internship’, as put out by Jun. It denoted that Jun would continue to work under the agency past the summer vacation, paid, but once he graduated from Keio, they would review it to allow Jun to work there as an official employee.

It was Jun’s dream, and Sho knew that. That was why Sho tried to convince himself that nothing would go wrong, that all that mattered was that Jun was happy, but as the semester started and classes began, it was obvious that, no, _it wasn’t alright. Not at all._

It was one thing, Jun being pulled to concert sites for rehearsals,light checks and sound checks during the summer vacation. Sho remembered those days very well, as a Johnny’s Jr that nearly debuted - they had dance practice, actual rehearsals that stretched for days on end before the actual concert itself, but all Sho had to do then was dance.

Rehearsals would begin at 10 in the morning, end at 8 in the evening, with plenty of breaks in between while the staff ran around making sure things went smoothly. They adjusted the settings, then stayeduntil even later at night to make adjustments to everything. Capable, enthusiastic interns like Jun…

Sho didn’t have to be dating Jun to even see it: they were exploiting Jun, his skills, his passion, and Jun was _letting them_.

Sho was certain it wasn’t an ‘intentional’ exploitation, per se. For one, every department head adored him, if it wasn’t obvious when Sho visited Jun at his workplace again, and so did _Gackt_ , if Jun’s wide-eyed reactions as he relayed how Gackt was giving him life advice (rarely helpful) weren’t an obvious indication. Of course, Sho was certain if Jun wanted to skip a day or an afternoon, or say _no_ when a department asked him for help, they would not hold it against him.

But Jun was not saying ‘no’. He was taking on everything people asked him to, and Sho could see how it was pulling him down, especially as he had to run from classes to work to finishing his final year portfolio. Not to add, he was being pulled to attend the concerts in Tokyo, and the one in Osaka.

Sho didn’t have to be a doctor to make the observation that Jun was losing so much sleep, even as Jun went from jubilantly relaying to Sho all the interesting things he had done at work the entire week, to simply curling up next to Sho and dozing on Sho’s couch whenever they met, because he was too tired to do anything else.

And it hurt Sho, seeing Jun like that.

It all cumulated to one evening in mid-October when Sho asked the half-asleep Jun, “Would consider… quitting? For the semester?”

Jun had frozen mid-nuzzle, eyes suddenly bright and alert despite the dark circles under them as he looked up at Sho in shock. Sho couldn’t help but feel guilty at the confusion plastered on Jun’s face, for Sho knew how much working at Johnny’s meant to Jun.

“What?”

“You’re burning out. You went from having so much energy to having none at all, and I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

Jun sat up, grabbing his glasses from the side table and moving away from Sho’s hug. “I’m fine, Sho-san. I’m not going to quit, you know this.”

“I know you won’t, which is why I’m asking you, begging you even, to consider taking a break.” Sho reached forward to cup Jun’s face between his hands, and brushed the dark circle. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Sho somehow knew it wasn’t going to end well when Jun drew away from him instantly, almost flinching away from his contact. When he spoke, his tone was brittle as he answered, “Nothing’s going to happen to me. You know how important this is to me. It’s what I’ve been working towards for the past two years. I’m not going to stop just because you don’t trust that I’ll be okay.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just can’t see you like this. It’s not going to get any better, is it? You’re like a bullet train racing towards your dream but you aren’t even stopping to rest!” Sho was well aware that he sounded desperate by now, but that was exactly what he was - desperate - especially when it came to Jun’s welfare. “What’s going to happen when you graduate? Are you going to slow down at all? You aren’t, are you? What are you trying to prove?”

The words flew out of his chest, but there was no stopping him. He had watched this go on for long enough to see how quickly things went from okay to not okay, and Sho couldn’t bear to see it. Even as Sho saw how taken aback Jun was with the sharpness of Sho’s tone, he would not stop until he was done.

“You say you’ve been working on this for years, that it’s your dream, but what’s the point in having a dream if you don’t have the energy, the health for it? Do you want to end up being a victim of _karoshi*_? Working yourself to death? I’ve studied those cases in med school, and I don’t want that to ever happen to you.”

Jun exhaled noisily as Sho ended his mini-rant, pushing up his glasses and crossing his arms in what Sho just _knew_ to be a sign of displeasure.

“Look, Sho-san. I can take care of myse--”

“No, I don’t think you can.” Sho interrupted. “Not when you haven’t even learnt how to say no. You’re practically split between all the departments! Stop trying to please everybody. It hurts me seeing you ruin yourself like this--”

“Well, it hurts me to hear you say that!”

The words died in Sho’s throat, as Jun pointedly looked away from him and began to put his phone into his bag. “I thought you understood me.”

Coldness began to trickle down Sho’s back, voice high as he reached out to touch Jun, only for his hand to be swiftly evaded. “Jun--”

“I thought you knew why I was doing this. I’m not doing this for anyone but myself - I’m not trying to prove anything! I’m not a child that can’t take care of himself. I’m doing this. For. My. Self.”

The last six words was familiar to Sho. Too familiar and a bitter memory that only served to heighten Sho’s desperation. “I’m not saying you are trying to prove anything, but--”

“But then again,” Jun’s look of hurt, together with his tiredness, made Sho feel like an idiot for bringing the topic up so suddenly because now Jun had to deal with both work and Sho, and Sho had no idea how to make things better for Jun.

“I shouldn’t ever have expected you to understand. What was I thinking?” Jun let out a hollow laugh, body half turned towards the door. Despite their distance, Sho could see Jun’s eyes sparkling, as though he was holding back his tears. “You’re perfect, after all. Smart, and successful - you’d have no troubles achieving what you want.”

The words felt like a punch in the stomach.

_Perfect?_

_No trouble achieving what he wants?_

In those few seconds, Sho went from desperate and concerned to feeling cheated. He _did_ understand.

Even though Sho never mentioned it to Jun - for he was ashamed - when he himself during his studies struggled to stay afloat, but was also trying desperately to prove his parents wrong in their beliefs. And Sho _wasn’t perfect._ He hated that word with great vengeance, as much as he hated the idea of someone thinking he had zero problems achieving what he wanted…

Because unlike Jun, Sho never knew from the beginning what he wanted. He was thrust into the path of being a doctor the moment he was born, and his only form of defiance was choosing to study in emergency medicine, instead of settling down in some ‘tamer’ practice.

Jun might not have known the former part of Sho’s past, but the latter, Jun _knew_. Sho had shared that much with him; opened up just as much as Jun had opened up to Sho.

And that was an equal betrayal, if one could even consider Sho’s _concern_ for Jun a betrayal at all. Perhaps it was to Jun, who had perceived Sho as the boyfriend who supported him in _everything_ Jun wanted to do, someone who stood at the stands and cheered for him. But that was not what Sho wanted to be. He wanted to mean more than that.

His voice sounded cold even to himself when Sho looked away from Jun, and told him, “Then go. I can’t stand seeing you kill yourself.”

“... Then you don’t have to.”

The door had yet to swing shut when Sho felt the first tear - was it of heartbreak? Or of hurt? - fall from his chin down to his lap.

xxxx

“No, I haven’t.” Sho shrugged, trying to push the hurt away from his mind. It would not do, of course, to dwell on such emotions when he had a shift right after their dinner.

“Why not?”

Sho shrugged again. Why not? Perhaps because he felt cheated by Jun, although deep inside he knew Jun said all those things out of stress and hurt, not with the intention to attack Sho. Or perhaps it was because Sho knew it would hurt his heart if he saw Jun again, overworked yet still so stubborn, so keen to hurt himself.

His thoughts were interrupted by a painful hit of Aiba’s hand on the top of his head.

“Ow!” Sho looked accusingly at his close friend, eyes slightly watering from the hit. “What was that for?”

“You’re being stupidly stubborn.” Aiba wore a serious frown, a rare look for him.

Sho merely rubbed his head and pouted, looking away from Aiba’s concerned expression. “Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?”

“I’m on both of your sides. And I can tell you that the two of you were happier when you were together. Now you’re just… sad. Cold, at times.”

Of course Sho was sad and cold. He _missed_ Jun. He was hurt by Jun. Sho didn’t know what to do, but he had to get over it, at least for the benefit of work and life in general, until he was back in his apartment - _alone_ \- again with no one to message, to call, or to hold close.

 _God,_ he was pathetic.

Hoping to take the attention away from him, and also equally worried about how quiet the third member of their trio was, Sho lightly pushed Ohno’s plate closer to the subdued artist. “You should be eating your cake, Ohno-san, not playing with it.”

Ohno jerked slightly, as though just pulled out of his thoughts. Under the watchful eye of Aiba and Sho, he took a small nibble of the strawberry shortcake slice in front of him. However, instead of his usual exclamations of how delicious the cake was, Ohno merely blinked slowly, and frowned, putting the fork down.

“I miss Kazu.”

Sho sighed, reaching over to lightly pat Ohno’s hand. “What happened between the two of you?”

“...I don’t know. I think we had a fight?”

“You think?” Aiba traded a look of confusion with Sho. “Haven’t you had fights with him before?”

Ohno shook his head. “Never….but he sounded really angry, because I didn’t tell him about the exhibition tour I have in Taiwan next March.”

Sho widened his eyes. No wonder Nino was angry with Ohno. “Hasn’t that been planned since June? It’s been what, four, nearly five months? You didn’t tell him at all?”

“I didn’t think it was important.” Ohno’s eyes were wide-eyed and sad when he looked up at Sho. “He wanted me around for his graduation, but thought I would tell him at least. And now he is ignoring me. He won’t even respond to my texts… Kazu has never ignored me before.”

Sho couldn’t help but mirror Aiba’s grimace. It was indeed a difficult situation, one which the two could not really help with. Ohno pursed his lips, and lowered his head to the table. “I...I can’t draw without Kazu, I need him as my muse.”

Aiba reached over to pat Ohno’s hair, as Sho offered him his cake - the only thing the two of them could do, really.

“We’re both fucked without them, basically.” Sho sighed, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling tiredly. _So, utterly, fucked_.

Ohno obediently took a small bite of the cheesecake, then tilted his head in sudden recall, “Do you think I might be able to catch him at work today? It’s Monday, isn’t it?”

“Yes?”

Ohno’s face brightened up instantly, and for a moment, Sho felt jealous.

“He works the late shift today! I’m going to go back to my studio and finish what I was doing last night then.” He hurriedly inhaled the remaining of the shortcake, groaning at the taste this time. “This is delicious, Aiba-chan. Thank you!”

He reached over to hug Sho, then Aiba, before practically flying off, spring in his step restored.

Yes, Sho was definitely jealous. He sighed again, once Ohno disappeared from view, pushing the cheesecake to Aiba as a gesture for him to finish the cake for Sho instead. Oh how he wished he could simply mend his and Jun’s relationship like that.

“Sho-chan…?”

Sho hummed distractedly, looking at his watch. He had to leave for his shift in a few minutes as well.

“Have you considered...maybe telling Jun? About what happened?” Aiba hesitantly asked, clearly gauging Sho’s response. Sho tried to hide how he faltered at the question, brushing at his dress shirt and unrolling his sleeves.

That might fix things… or it might not. At this juncture, Sho wasn’t sure what could mend their relationship anymore.

“I have to go now, Aiba-chan.” As he passed Aiba, Sho reached out to squeeze his shoulder. “Thank you.”

But nothing was going to change.

xxxx

It was barely half past 10 when Sho received the page - along with the rest of the emergency doctors on shift that evening - of the accident that happened at the edge of campus: A side collision between a bus full of commuters and a car due to faulty traffic lights, but no critical injuries were being diverted their way, as the casualties were being distributed to two hospitals. Nevertheless, all hands were on deck that evening, as they received information from the incoming ambulances.

Sho was mildly grateful for the commotion, for it served as a far more effective distraction than the calmer routine of rounds. It was so effective that Sho nearly jumped a foot up in the air when he turned the corner to evaluate the next patient of the ‘delayed’ triage group, and was met with the sight of Nino.

The man looked dishevelled with multiple cuts and scratches on his left arm, a large forming bruise on his forehead, accompanied by a long cut that extended from his left cheekbone to his jaw. Thankfully, Nino was alert and sitting up when he greeted Sho with a stiff wave.

“Yo.”

Sho blinked, then internally cursed as he grabbed the clipboard from the end of the hospital bed, flicking through the initial triage evaluation.

“I don’t know why they labelled me as ‘delayed’, because I’m pretty sure there were kids in the bus and they should really be treated first.” Nino sounded as though he was complaining, but Sho was surprised by Nino’s lack of concern for himself.

 _Like his roommate_.

“No, really, Sho-chan, I’m fine, and I can wait for another hour or five.”

“The children have been or are in the process of being treated right now, so you don’t have to worry about that.” Sho explained as he firmly pushed Nino to lie back against the elevated head of the hospital cot, reaching for his penlight and checking Nino’s pupils for any unevenness.

“You, on the other hand, have a bruise the size of Honshu island on your face, indication of blunt head trauma, and threw up at the accident site. The only reason why you were not marked for immediate treatment was because you showed no signs of concussion by the triage nurse, and you convinced her that you retained all mental capabilities with your snark.”

“There is no way you could know that.” Nino complained, but was silenced by the serious look Sho shot him.

“She wrote it on the side in pencil.” Before Nino could interrupt, Sho reached over to gently prod at his head. “How bad does your head hurt on a scale of 1 to 10?”

“4? My hand hurts more.”

“No sign of concussions or brain injury, so at least I know that you share the same hard head as your roommate.” Sho replied stiffly, making a note on patient clipboard.

“I resent that.”

Sho rolled his eyes, and tried to keep his tone friendly as he responded, “You don’t have the right to say that, since I treated the both of you.”

Shifting his attention away from the most pressing medical issue, Sho brought his attention to Nino’s left arm, stretching it out before checking, “You said your hand hurts more? From the cuts or somewhere else?”

“Not the cuts.” Sho watched Nino’s face as he gently prodded along Nino’s palm and wrist, stopping when Nino hissed.

“Looks like either a sprain or fracture. There isn’t a lot of swelling, but sometimes that takes a while to form.” Sho apologetically patted Nino’s thigh, taking note of the remaining visible injuries. “Could you tell me what happened to you when the car hit the bus? As manydetails as possible, please.”

From Sho’s examination, he concluded that most of Nino’s injuries were superficial besides his wrist, but he couldn’t help but feel paranoid, wanting to triple, quadruple check that he wasn’t missing anything. It was not because it was his job, nor because he knew Nino personally - rather, Sho knew how much Nino meant to Jun, and by extension, Sho would never let anything happen to Nino.

To be frank, he wouldn’t let anything happen to the four of them - Ohno, Aiba, Nino and Jun,  although thinking about Jun made his heart hurt again. He did not want anything happen to him, but he couldn’t do anything to prevent it either.

“I was catching a bit of sleep before my shift, so all I remember is the bus jerking sharply, and then the impact. My head hit the window really hard, and the bus tipped on its side so I stuck out my hand to catch myself. The window shattered when it hit the ground.” Nino shivered at the memory, and Sho frowned as he reached over to grab Nino’s cold, uninjured hand, feeling the mild tremble as Nino’s body slowly got over the shock of the accident. “I’m going to swear off buses forever. Or vehicles in general.”

“I highly doubt that,” Sho squeezed his hand lightly. “You’re safe now. I’m going to dress your cuts before I send you up to X-ray, but is there anyone you would like me to call? Family?”

Nino shook his head hurriedly. “My mother would worry, and it’s too late. I’ll be fine.”

“Then I’ll call Ohno-san.”

“Don’t!” Nino hurriedly held tight to Sho, voice small, “I don’t want him to know where I am. He probably won’t care anyway.”

Sho carefully pried Nino’s fingers open to free himself. “Look, I know you are in the middle of a fight and all, but Leader cares a great deal about you. He was going to see you at the music cafe today, to talk to you, and given that you have yet to show up, and the accident is all over the news, he is going to piece things together. Don’t underestimate him, Nino. If anything, he should be on his way already.”

Nino looked sullen as he picked at the sheets. “...I don’t know why he didn’t tell me he was going to leave in March. We had plans.”

“I don’t know why either, but this is Leader who we’re talking about. Cut him some slack and talk to him. You know how he is.” Sho impatiently tapped at the hospital rails. He should probably get a nurse to replace the almost empty saline bag. “I’m going to call him, alright? You need someone with you.”

The nod he received was barely perceptible.

Sho had just requested for the change in saline, and was about to call Ohno when his phone vibrated, the caller ID being the man himself.

“Sakurai here.”

“Sho-kun,” Ohno sounded out of breath and panicked, the first time Sho had ever heard him like this. “Tell me he is there. And that he is okay.”

“He’s here, he’s fine. I was just about to call you. He’s a bit bruised, scratched, likely with a broken wrist and pretty shaken up, but I’m seeing to him right now.”

“Thank god.” The artist’s relief was palpable through the phone. “I’m nearly there. I heard about the accident and I was making my way over, and then I heard that they brought the casualties to two hospitals so--”

Sho quickly interrupted him before Ohno could start rambling on the phone, “Calm down. Get a nurse to bring you to Triage room 17 when you arrive, alright? I’m going to go back to dress his cuts.”

“Y-yes, of course. Sho-chan?”

“Hmm?”

“Take care of him, please.”

“Of course.”

xxx

“He’ll be here soon.”

Despite Nino’s former brave exterior, Sho had returned to a small curled up form, one he had to convince to unball himself to prevent further injury and to allow Sho to dress the cuts.

“He was already on his way when he called me, so really, I think maybe five, ten more minutes?” Sho murmured distractedly as he waited for the local numbing agent to work on Nino’s cheek, cleaning the scratches on Nino’s palm and arm in the meantime with anti-sceptic. Nino kept fairly quiet as he did so, but Sho could tell that he was forcing himself to not flinch at the pain.

Brave, but also incredibly stupid, for Sho wouldn’t judge, really.

“Jun is hurting.”

Nino’s soft words cut into Sho’s concentration and he nearly dropped the butterfly stitches, just catching himself at the last moment. Sho’s eyes burned for a moment, but he remained silently as he taped the bigger cuts on Nino’s arm.

“I know you’re hurting too, because Matsujun can be incredibly dense, prickly and harsh when he’s stressed out and tired, so he probably said plenty of stupid things too. But he’s hurting as much as you are, I think.”

“Did he tell you what happened?” Sho asked, as he opened the packet of clean sutures and tilted Nino’s head sideways, cot lowered to have Nino lie flat, while the overhead lamp was turned on to illuminate the cut better.

“No. But he’s been throwing himself to more work. I rarely see him at home. Sometimes I hear the front door opening at odd hours of the morning, either him returning home or leaving. His juniors have come up to me on campus and asked me to do something about it, but I can’t.” Nino’s voice was a mumble, trying not to interfere as Sho stitched the cut shut. “I wish he would stop, because he’s going to crash. Even a blind man can see it.”

Nino’s laugh was hollow when Sho wiped the cut with iodine and dressed it with multiple butterfly stitches. “I’d give him a week, Sho-chan.”

Sho’s hand froze above the switch of the overhead lamp.

Nino had turned to meet his almost horrified expression with a blank one, although his irises held a concern that only elevated the fear Sho felt for Jun.

A week.

But Sho could do nothing, if his fight with Jun was any indication, and was there any point of being in a relationship where your partner would not allow you to help him? A partner who hurt him as well, despite Sho knowing deep down that Jun could not have meant it.

He swallowed the bitterness in his mouth and looked away from Nino as he paged for X-ray.

“Kazu!” Ohno suddenly came barrelling into the tiny area, an expression on his face that Sho had never seen before, despite having known the man for over a decade.

Panic. Desperation. Gratitude. Relief. _Love_.

Ohno seemed hesitant to touch Nino, fingers trembling as his hand fluttered in the air before Nino, as though afraid that the injured man would break at any contact. However, when Nino looked at Ohno with his wide eyes, face bruised and black stitches on his cheek, and _sniffed_ , Ohno instantly reached out to hug Nino gently, mindful of his hand and the cut on his face, letting Nino hide his face in Ohno’s neck and whispering, “It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re fine. Thank god you’re fine.”

Sho could not bear to look for more than the few seconds needed to ensure that Ohno wasn’t doing anything to jar Nino’s injuries (not that the man could in the first place). The moment was too intimate, and Sho itched to leave to give the couple some personal space, if not for the fact that it was his professional duty to remain there until radiology came down to collect Nino.

Nevertheless, he would not deny how much his chest hurt, just hearing the soft soothing croons of Ohno and Nino’s muffled sniffles, and then hearing the soft apologies of Ohno to Nino, “I’m sorry for not telling you.”

Oh how he yearned to be able to hold Jun like that, to soothe his fears and insecurities, to melt away his stress. Yet here Nino had estimated a week, and how close was Sho to Jun?

So much further away than he wished he could be.

\--

“I want to go home.” Nino softly whined to Ohno for the nth time in the last hour. His left wrist had already been set in a cast, but his cuts _itched_ and the hospital bed was uncomfortable. The only reason why Nino had been semi-quiet about it was because Ohno was next to him and drawing comforting circles into his palm.

“Not until Sho-kun says you can.”

“But I want to go home.”

Ohno silenced Nino’s whine with a short kiss, then rested his head next to Nino’s pillow when they parted. His eyes were soft, but deeply concerned as his fingers hovered over the stitched cut. Nino fidgeted at the motion, and turned his head away from Ohno.

“Stop staring at it. The stitches are black and ugly, and my face is probably swollen and bl-”

NIno was interrupted when he felt callused hands grabbing his jaw and turning it back to face the solemn-looking man.  

“I don’t care about that. As long as you’re alright. You scared me. I thought I lost you.”

“Don’t be melodramatic, Ojisan. I was far from dying.”

“Don’t take this lightly, Kazu.” Ohno clutched onto Nino’s uninjured hand, eyes bright with moisture and lip trembling when he continued, “I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you… Especially when the last time we met we fought. I couldn’t...”

Nino’s expression softened when he saw how close Ohno was to crying, and sighed as he wiped the tears away, previous thoughts of wanting to leave the _bloody_ hospital forgotten when he had a crying Ohno to comfort.

It might have Nino over-reacting too, hurt by the fact that Ohno had kept the exhibition from Nino for months. Despite Nino’s complaints of Ohno holding out on him, Nino didn’t really care about the sex (okay, he did, slightly), he wanted to know if Ohno sincerely cared about him given his usually aloof exterior. The fact that Ohno had failed to share with him the details of the exhibition had hurt Nino a lot, leaving a lot of doubt in his mind of why Ohno hadn’t told Nino from the start.

However, deep down, Nino knew that Ohno had no real negative intentions; the man was always like that, lost in his own world but always with so much love to give to Nino and the people around him… When he was not focused on his art.

“Don’t cry. It’s a bad look on you.” Nino awkwardly pulled Ohno closer, forcing him onto the bed with him and allowing Ohno to squeeze Nino (albeit, gently) like Nino was his personal teddy bear.

...Who was Nino kidding, he _was_ Ohno’s personal teddy bear; And he greatly missed his boyfriend’s hug.

“C-can we,” Ohno buried his nose into Nino’s hair, and Nino hoped Sho wouldn’t suddenly walk in. That would be awkward. Nino didn’t care if Sho or Aiba or Jun walked into them making out, but emotional intimacy: that felt wrong to air to outsiders. “Can we never leave a fight to stew for more than a day?”

Nino wrapped his uninjured hand around Ohno’s waist and winced at the mild ache the action brought. “Okay. But you still owe me for not telling me about March. Also, does this mean that we can finally fuck before I graduate, since you won’t be around during graduation?”

At the inquiry, Ohno shifted to press his lips against the side of Nino’s neck, as though in apology, before lightly nibbling the skin under Nino’s ear. Nino shivered at the sensation. That meant yes, Nino guessed.

“Oh for the love of… I left the two of you to rest and make up, not for Leader to jump the patient.” Sho’s disgruntled voice interrupted the pair. Ohno sprung away from Nino instantly, much to Nino’s displeasure. Sho grimaced to himself before looking sternly at the pair, “This is painfully awkward for me to say, but…No _strenuous_ activities until those stitches come off and the bruises go away… Please.”

He looked pointedly at Nino, who had the audacity to respond with a hurt expression, as though asking, ‘ _What are you looking at me for?_ ’.

Sho cleared his throat. “So…”

“I can go home?”

“No.”

“What?” Nino whined, pouting at Sho and preening when Ohno reached out to rub his back in consolation. “Why not?”

“Because you’re a walking bruise, and you had your face slammed against the window.”

“J hit his head on the corner of his desk and you discharged him after 4 hours!”

Sho visibly tensed at the mention of Jun’s name, forehead pinching for only a moment before being smoothed; nonetheless, the reaction made Nino feel bad.

“Jun-san wasn’t in a two-car collision, and you need someone with you in the next 24 hours. Last I recall, you informed me that Jun-san wasn’t home most of the time.”

Nino blinked, then looked at Ohno expectantly. “Can I stay over at your place for the next few days? I’ll need someone to feed me.”

He didn’t need to hear an answer to know that the man would agree, especially when Ohno was still clutching onto his hand like a lifeline, as though fearful that Nino would disappear if he let go. Nino was going to be _so_ pampered in the next few days.

Sho looked at the pair, and sighed. “Fine. I’ll go get the discharge papers ready.”

Nino cheered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Karoshi refers to ‘death by overwork’, a common phenomenon in Japan, unfortunately.


	11. Fall Semester, November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in Jun's POV. 
> 
> The warning tags for depression, an attempt of self-harm and anixety apply in this chapter

November was supposed to be the end of fall, the time when temperatures in Japan began to drop slowly, but Jun had felt chilled weeks ahead of November. It was not a matter of unusual weather, of course, for it had actually been a relatively warm summer. Rather, the chill that had been plaguing Jun and clinging onto his tired soul was from a broken heart.

He missed Sho.

He missed… a lot of people, actually. He missed Nino, whom he hadn’t seen for a while, despite living in the same apartment as him - Jun just wasn’t home long enough, or home in the appropriate hours when Nino was home, or had energy to expend on whatever ‘free’ time he had left when Nino was home. He also missed his friends. He missed having time to talk to Toma about applications of technology onto clothes, like installing hundreds of fine LED lights to suits,  or having his juniors knocking on his ‘office’ door and asking for help. Heck, he missed his ‘office’, which he hadn’t visited since the semester started.

Jun hadn’t had the time, nor the energy for many things outside of work and classes, basically. Despite being in his final semester and Jun having only two classes - event management II and fashion styling history - all his ‘free’ time, the hours meant for working on his final year portfolio had been sapped up by his new job. It was only fortunate that Jun had spent a lot of time on his portfolio in the previous semester.

But that didn’t change the fact that he was exhausted, stressed, and missing Sho.

 _Sho…_ The man hadn’t messaged or called Jun since Jun had walked out of his apartment a little more than a fortnight ago. He would have felt extremely hurt, or angry by it, but Jun somehow knew Sho had been upset as well,  in the end. Jun didn’t know what he said that was wrong, or what might have hurt Sho, but… Jun remembered how cold and closed off Sho sounded and looked when Jun left, and that scared him.

And now, Jun absolutely hated how _right_ Sho was.

Perhaps it had been Sho’s presence in his life that had distracted Jun from how busy his life had become, the man having been an oasis in Jun’s life, asking about his day and letting him rest when Jun was tired, always understanding and…Supportive.

The pencil lead snapped on the paper he had been _trying_ to work on since he got back from work. ‘Trying’ was the keyword, for his concentration had been nearly non-existent, eyes protesting from the lack of sleep throughout the past few weeks. Next to him, the printed to-do list for his week was a stark reminder that he needed to finish these seven, coordinating designs for one of the younger boy-bands under the agency, by friday noon for the costume department meeting.

Jun groaned out loud, dropping his pencil onto the table in a semi-violent manner before burying his face in his hands and rubbing his tired eyes.

“Why am I doing this still?” He mumbled bitterly to himself. He wanted a break. He desperately wanted, _needed_ a break… But he couldn’t afford one, unfortunately - he could money-wise,´-  but not time-wise.

But he really wanted one.

Jun sighed loudly, dropping his hands and staring blankly at his half-finished work.

He wondered if this was what his life was going to be like. Jun knew he had to sacrifice something to get this… This ‘dream’ of his, but he never thought it would have meant sacrificing sleep, his friends, and someone he loved. His phone was filled with numerous unopened messages from his classmates and anyone that wasn’t from work, but Jun couldn’t find the energy to open them.

Messages… were likely just more requests for him, and if he added one more thing on his workload, Jun was going to break.

 _God_ , he hated himself so much for making his own life miserable. Yet Jun couldn’t stop here.

For a moment, Jun considered going over to Nino’s room and asking for some company, but it was 3 in the morning, and the silence from his roommate’s room implied that he was likely asleep. Strangely enough, the apartment had been kept remarkably untouched, as though unlived in, but Jun wasn’t home long enough, nor early enough to know what went on in their apartment. Perhaps Nino was being considerate of Jun, by cleaning up after himself, but the thought of not having spoken or seen his roommate, despite _living_ in the same area/apartment made Jun feel even more miserable… Then guilty, at the thought of how lucky he was to not have met an awake Nino. Jun would have likely only been scolded by his roommate, and he already knew that what he was doing was not healthy. He did not need someone else to tell him that.

He would most likely end up fighting with Nino if Nino chose to mention it. Jun was already tired, and he had no plans to burn anymore bridges with people he was close to, not matter how right they might be.  

Nevertheless, Jun had to (unwillingly) get back to work. He laughed humourlessly to himself as he rubbed his eyes.

If Sho could see him now… He would be so ridiculously angry at Jun, probably. Not that Sho could do anything about it anymore, nor could Jun do _anything_ to change that fact - to make Sho be able to tell him to stop, so that Jun had an excuse to stop.

Jun had no one now.

The thought made Jun’s chest ache with an inexplicable loneliness, one that made his tiredness pale in comparison. Blinking his stinging eyes -  burning from tiredness, not from tears, of course - Jun reached for his mechanical pencil.

And froze.

It was barely perceptible, but coming from someone who relied on his _hands_ to draw, to cut and to sew, Jun observed his trembling with vaguely numb horror.

...Perhaps he should stop for the night, he decided blankly, as he clenched and unclenched his hand above the pencil. The small shakes stopped momentarily, but resumed when Jun relaxed his hand.

It was a sign, Jun decided, as he began to clean up his desk slowly, trying to not let the panic eat him up. It was one thing to be exhausted, but Jun needed to his hands to be steady.

 _Sleep._ Jun would sleep it off.

xxxx

“Excuse me… is Aiba-sensei available right now?”

The receptionist looked up in surprise at the voice of a visitor, smiling kindly and in mild concern when she noticed the haggard appearance of Jun, nervously clutching at the strap of his messenger bag.

“Yes, he is. You can go straight in.”

Jun had to appreciate the counselling department in the university. They didn’t ask any questions nor ask for his name. Bowing his head politely at the woman, he proceeded to walk to the familiar office door, feeling slightly nervous.

He had not alerted Aiba about his visit, but that was mainly because Jun hadn’t been sure if he had time free. For once, he had been dismissed early from work, after Gackt saw him (and he hadn’t seen Gackt for several weeks since the end of the concert, since Jun was now a runner for different idol bands) and promptly scolded Jun’s supervisors for running Jun to the ground.

It was an uncomfortable experience, being scrutinized by others and being told to take the day off. He did not like being seen as incapable, but there he was, being apologized to and ushered to the entrance of the building, being told to not come in until the day after tomorrow.

There was a sense of shame, even though Jun knew that he should be welcoming the tiny reprieve. It was a welcome break, for he hadn’t been able to fix his shaking hands. The trembling were starting to get more noticeable, and Jun wasn’t sure what to do or who to ask for help, except from Aiba. The man, after all, told Jun that he could visit him whenever he needed to talk to.

“Come in!”

Jun clutched onto his bag, and stepped into the room.

And was met by a white flying, familiar, furball.

Jun looked at Shoko-chan with slight marvel - it seemed as though she had doubled in size from the first time Jun had met her. Jun dropped onto his knees once he was inside the room, scratching her behind her ears as she lapped at his cheeks. “Oh, you’ve grown up so big now, haven’t you?”

Shoko-chan woofed softly in response , tail wagging happily as she eagerly clambered onto Jun’s lap. “Such a pretty dog, I missed you.”

It seemed Shoko-chan was the only one who loved him despite knowing very little about him.

“MatsuJun! I wasn’t expecting yo-” Aiba trailed off when Jun looked up, happily cuddling the warm creature in his arms.

“Aiba-san. I’m sorry to drop by unexpectedly.” Jun started slowly, pulling courage from Shoko-chan, who was still lapping at his neck and arms. “I… You mentioned I could talk to you if I needed someone to talk to.”

Aiba nodded slowly, still looking alarmed as he walked towards Jun and called for Shoko-chan to heel. Shoko-chan obediently did so, clambering away from Jun and leaving him feeling momentarily bereft.

Bereft of contact until Aiba tugged him up by his wrist and guided him to the nearest sofa (no longer a bean bag, for whatever strange reason), and tapped at Jun’s lap. Shoko-chan yapped, then jumped back onto his empty lap. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable while I make us some tea.” Aiba suggested, before moving away to grab a chair and make the promised drink.

Jun was surprised at the sudden action, but happily settled down on the sofa, slipping his feet out of from his shoes and pulling them up while nuzzling against the affectionate dog in his arms.

“You’re a good dog, aren’t you, Shoko-chan?” Jun praised the now calm creature, his anxiety slowly settling down “I forgot how sweet you are. I should visit you more often, make you something to wear… a pretty red ribbon collar?”

“Ah… I guess I should tell you...” Aiba looked awkward as Jun pressed his face against the warm white fur, hiding his shaking hands with almost rushed strokes as a rough tongue lapped at his face. Aiba sounded guilty enough to catch Jun’s attention, Jun raising his gaze sharply at Aiba, who held two cups of tea. “I… I’m friends with the owner of a wild rescue shelter in Tokyo…. Which was where I’ve always borrowed the animals for my counselling sessions.”

Jun hugged Shoko-chan close to his chest at the words, heart falling. _Rescue shelter_. “Is she… getting adopted?”

 _Just another thing to be sad about,_ Jun surmised, feeling his eyes burn with emotions. Just another friend he would lose, even if Shoko-chan deserved a home too.

“No, she’s going to be a therapy dog.” Aiba hurriedly responded, nearly dropping the tea in his hurry. “She’ll be away for a while to go for some training, but I’ve managed to get the okay signal from the management to have her kept here once she’s certified.”

“Oh.” In Jun’s arms, Shoko-chan whined and rubbed against his neck, as though sensing his misery. He couldn’t help but force a fragile smile onto his face, voice thin as he added, “She would make a good therapy-dog, wouldn’t she? Calm and comforting.”

“That’s what I thought as well.”

Perhaps it was Jun’s imagination, but he thought Aiba sounded strange - more serious - as Jun took the tea from him with both hands, holding it tight to hide his tremors.

“You don’t look well, Jun-kun.” Aiba started carefully, his eyes watchful as Jun looked away.

“I know.”

“...Okay. What did you want to talk about? I’m all ears.”

The change in topic surprised Jun, but he fully appreciated it. Jun wasn’t sure how he would have responded if someone told him to take a break - as if Jun himself didn’t know that already.

“Sho-san.”

Aiba did not seem fazed by the question, crossing his legs and cocking his head to the side, as though already expectant of Jun’s interest. “What about him?”  

Jun had no doubt that Aiba would have been privy to what had happened between Sho and himself, but he somehow knew that the man would not be biased - Aiba was too kind to do so. “...I just thought he’d be supportive of my dreams, Aiba-san.”

He did not expect the sigh from the psychologist, who nudged at Jun to drink his tea. “You’ve misunderstood, Matsujun. Sho-chan was - _is_ \- supportive of you, and your dreams is just an extension of that. His priority had only been you.”

_Of him?_

Jun felt his heart speed up, holding Shoko-chan close to his chest to slow his racing heart. “I-I don’t understand.”

Aiba sighed, a conflicted expression flitting over him momentarily before it settled to serious. “I… Sho-chan never told you what happened when he was in medical school.” Jun nodded in confusion. “Of course he wouldn’t. He isvery ashamed of what happened, but he should have told you about it.”

“I don’t understand, Aiba-san.” _Told him about what?_

Aiba pursed his lips, and then vaguely nodded in the direction of the wall behind Jun. Jun was surprised when he saw a picture of a younger Aiba, Sho and Ohno, dressed in the same high school uniforms and clutching onto graduation certificates, the background a shower of cherry blossoms, framed and hanging on the wall. Jun had never really paid attention to the wall before, but he wished he had.

Aiba and Ohno did not look too different now from when they were in the picture, but Sho was extremely different from his present neat appearance. The teenager Sho, the one in the picture, had his hair dyed a reddish brown and styled to defy gravity, and he had his ear pierced, while he sported a strained smile, as though reluctant to smile for the camera.

It was such a big contrast to the Sho Jun knew; less confident, more tense, and more awkward. He was _cute_.

“We knew each other from school, of course. Sho-chan wasn’t always the way he is. He was really nice, but he had a temper that have cooled down since we’ve graduated. Sometimes he was cold, but we - Leader and I - knew that he was very protective of his friends. That’s why he had a lot of juniors who looked up to him all throughout high school; he always took care of us.”

“He looks sad.” Jun frowned, wishing he could have met that teenage Sho. From the description, Jun could not help but think how a younger Jun would have surely admired the Sho in the picture, idolized him, even. Yet, the brittle happiness in Sho’s expression was evident.

“Sho-chan’s never had an easy time with his education.” Aiba raised his hand when he noticed Jun’s look of disbelief. “Not with grades, mostly, but with pressure. He never really wanted to be a doctor, but his father…”

“...owns the biggest private hospitals in Tokyo.” Jun finished, suddenly seeing how the pieces of Sho’s history fell into place.

 _‘“If you didn’t become a doctor, what would you have wanted to be, if you don’t mind me asking, Sho-san?”_  
_  
“An idol… Or maybe a newscaster, but then I ended up in medical school right after high school, and that was it.”’_

_Oh._

Jun suddenly found himself blinking back tears. He had made a mistake, telling Sho that of all people, he would have no trouble achieving what he wanted. Aiba did not notice his sudden insurgence of emotions as he continued.

“So Sho-chan wasn’t really happy in high school. He wasn’t looking forward to medical school, but his version of teenage rebellion was to join Johnny’s,” Aiba paused when Jun visibly flinched at the name, but did not comment, merely narrowing his eyes in concern and suspicion, before continuing, “and of course, that ended with our graduation.

“He was a lot happier during the first few years of medical school - we moved into an apartment together, and we shared a lot of classes, so those years were fun… And then he started his sixth semester, and things got really hard for him. The classes had grown exponentially harder of course, with department appointments and the monthly exams. He was struggling with them, and I don’t blame him. He was one of the youngest students in his year. Most medical students who come in directly from high school repeat a year or two, but Sho-chan didn’t have the luxury of course. He worked his ass off the entire semester, and the following, and it was scary.

“He forwent a lot of sleep, pulled plenty of all-nighters, and would have skipped most of his meals if I didn’t force them in him. I barely saw him leave his room, or the library. It was a very trying time for him, and he wasn’t happy for a long time. Leader and I were very worried for him.”

Jun ignored his burning eyes - the image Aiba was painting of Sho was so vastly different fromthe man Jun knew. It made Jun wonder how he could have missed this part of Sho’s history, or why Sho hadn’t told him about it.

“He was overworking himself.” Jun croaked, but hastily hid his emotions by finishing his tea, then hugging the now quiet Shoko-chan to his chest.

 _‘Like how I am working myself to ruins now.’_ Jun thought silently, heart heavy.

Aiba nodded, his own eyes slightly bright. It must not be a happy memory for Aiba either, Jun realized, which made Jun grateful that Aiba was telling him about it.

“W-what-” Jun cleared his throat when his voice cracked slightly, “made him stop?”

“I was with my orchestra club one evening - I used to play the saxophone, I’ve stopped now - and my chest started hurting really badly. I went to the hospital and was hospitalized with pneumothorax. I tried to contact Sho to tell him where I was, that I needed surgery and would be gone for at least four days, but there was no reply on his end, no messages, but I knew his reasons and didn’t hold it against him.  

“On the day I was discharged, he came charging into my hospital room, hugged me and broke down. Leader had dropped by our apartment to help me grab a change of clothes for the discharge, and told Sho-chan what happened. He was apologizing for everything, for not checking his phone and realizing what had happened, for ignoring his friends.” Aiba reached forward to pat Jun’s leg. “I think the realization that he might have lost me without him knowing terrified him. He had always loved us, like family. The guilt ate him up immensely. But it snapped him out of it, with a little work and intervention on our end.”

Jun could not meet Aiba’s eyes as he digested the new information.

Firstly, Jun had now realized his mistake with Sho - he was not surprised if Sho hated him now. He wasn’t even sure if it was safe to call it a misunderstanding, for Jun should have been more than able to piece together Sho’s motives for wanting him to take a break.

Secondly, Jun wanted to talk to Nino. Desperately. He had not seen him or heard from him in more than a week, maybe even two. After hearing Aiba’s story, Jun urgently needed to find Nino, to apologize for his absence and negligence of Nino and Jun’s own health...

“Matsujun, here.” Aiba’s gentle voice tugged Jun out of his thoughts, offering him a box of tissues. It was then Jun realized he was freely crying, hand fisted in Shoko-chan’s white fur.

Jun grabbed a tissue and hastily wiped his eyes.

“I’ll get you more tea.”

“No.” Jun made to stand up, Shoko-chan obediently jumping to the floor and whining near his ankle when Jun stood up and rubbed his teary eyes behind his glasses. “Thank you, Aiba-san, but… I think I’m going now.”

Aiba seemed to hesitate momentarily, before reaching forward to hug Jun tightly. “It’s not too late to fix things with Sho-chan, Matsujun.”

Jun sank into the warm hug, but wondered if it was too late to fix himself.

xxxx

He was panicking.

Nino wasn’t in the apartment. If Jun was right, Nino hadn’t been home for nearly a week now. It was hard to tell if their apartment had or hadn’t been lived in when Jun returned from work in the early morning hours, but now it was four in the evening and the apartment was quiet as a grave.

Jun’s hands shook as he hastily dialed Nino’s number, wondering where on earth his roommate could have gone to, for Nino was not the type to leave their apartment unless necessary, or if something had happened to him, and Jun didn’t _know anything_.

He had to brace himself against the kitchen counter as he heard the ringback tone beep once, twice, then,

“Hello? J?”

Jun could have cried in relief from hearing Nino’s voice. Instead, he sank down to the floor and pressed the phone against his ear, “Nino, where are you?”

“I’m at Oh-chan’s place, of course. I texted you remember? That I was going to stay there for a week or two until my wrist got better.”

 _Texted him_. Jun suddenly felt nauseous as he switched to speaker mode and hastily scrolled through his entire folder of unopened messages - there were so many - and froze when he finally saw Nino’s text, unopened from just over a week ago.

‘Was in an accident. I’m fine, just a broken wrist and bruises, but Oh-chan’s going to take care of me, so I’ll be be staying at his place for a week or so. Take care of yourself and remember to eat. - K.’

Jun bit his own fist to curb the sudden wave of nausea. _Accident._ Nino had been in an accident over a week ago and Jun _didn’t know_.

 _Fuck_.

“Junpon? Is everything okay? Are you alright? Didn’t you get my text?”

Jun’s voice was hollow as he clutched onto his phone and whispered, “I… I hadn’t opened my messages in a while.”

There was silence from Nino’s end for a while, a soft scuffling sound and a hushed whisper of Nino excusing himself - probably away from Ohno. When Nino answered, Jun let out a broken sob at how _kind_ Nino sounded.

“It’s alright, J. You’ve been busy, haven’t you? Tell me you’ve eaten at least. Or will I be coming home to a bag of bones tomorrow?”

Nino sounded so normal - snarky but concerned and _so kind_ , as though Jun hadn’t ignored Nino for weeks, even when Nino had still been staying in the apartment. And he was coming home the next day…

“Jun-pon? Are you still there?”

He had nearly lost his best friend and he didn’t know. What else had Jun fucked up recently?  

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, J. You don’t sound right. Are you okay?”

A small part of Jun wanted to say, _no_ , he wasn’t okay. Jun did not feel fine - he felt far from it, yet Jun couldn’t find it within himself to say so to Nino.

“Do you want me to come home today, J? I can, you know. Just say so. We can have a nice evening in. You, me and Mario Kart 8. My wrist is a bit hard to bend right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t beat you—”

“It’s okay. Enjoy your night with Ohno-sensei, Nino.” Jun’s voice sounded wrong even in his own ears, but Jun wasn’t sure if he could bear to see Nino that night without breaking down.

“J? That’s it, I’m going home. Hang tight, alright? I’ll be there in fifteen. I can hitch a ride with yo—”

Jun ended the call before he could start crying into the receiver, dropping his phone on the counter and burying his face into his hands. Jun’s mind was a mix of emotions - he was tired, guilty, upset, heart still aching for _Sho_ , and he was so, so _bitter_ with himself and what he had done.

In a sudden surge of rage, Jun grabbed the nearest object to him and flung it to the opposite wall, watching breathlessly as it collided with the wall and shattered into numerous white shards.

It suddenly occurred to Jun what he had just thrown, what he had just _broken_.

Sho’s present to Jun.

“No—“ Jun dropped to his knees before the broken pieces, shaking fingers – curse his trembling fingers, he wished they would just _stop_ – desperately pulling the white pieces together. “No, no, please—”

And then he paused, unseeing eyes fixed on the scattered pieces of porcelain, Sho’s poorly drawn but adorable cat still staring at him, and the words Sho had painstakingly written on the bottom of the now broken mug held in his hands. In that short span of seconds, Jun came to the sudden realization that it wasn’t simply the mug Sho had given him that Jun had just broken.

He had broken his own and Sho’s heart. He had nearly lost his roommate and best friend and didn’t even _know_. He hadn’t spoken to his friends in so long, and his love for his work was… Gone.

Perhaps it was because he was too tired, too heartbroken, too confused, or perhaps it was because Jun wanted to _feel_ something, that he found himself clenching his fingers around the largest piece of broken ceramic.

The initial spike of pain did not deter Jun even as red beaded around torn skin and began its slow trickle down his wrist. All he could think about was that this was his out, this was the only way he was going to be free, and this was the only way Jun could feel.

And he wanted to feel something besides exhaustion and emptiness.

“Fuck. Jun-san, put that down.”

The voice was familiar.

_Sho?_

No, it could not have been, Jun decided as he remained motionless on the ground and continued to stare at his hands, ignoring the sudden presence behind him. Sho would not come here. He had no reason to do so.

_Red was such a pretty colour. Like the costume he had made for Sho. Red._

“Jun, please turn around and put that down.”

That sounded very much like Sho, Jun had to admit. However, there was a tinge of worry and desperation that Jun had not heard since their fight, but there was no real reason for Sho to be concerned for Jun, wasn’t there?

“No.” Jun breathed out softly, tightening his grip around the shard. This was better. At least like this he could _feel_.

“Please. You’re hurting yourself.”

A warm hand grabbed his shoulder, and Jun flinched, eyes widening at the realization that the voice hadn’t been a figment of his imagination. He whirled around, jerking when he came face to face Sho.

“What-”

“Drop it, Jun.” Sho shifted his grip to Jun’s wrists, eyes flickering down to where blood was trailing down Jun’s elbow. “This is enough. You don’t have to hurt yourself anymore.”

“Let go of me!” Jun wrenched his wrists away from Sho, backing away slightly from Sho - and was that Nino and Ohno at the door, holding a first-aid kit? _Fuck_ , he had to be dreaming, he had tobe. This was his mind playing tricks on him, Jun was certain. “Just let me… None of you are real. I don’t want this anymore.”

“Jun. It’s really me.” Sho’s voice was low, as though talking to a frightened animal as he approached Jun slowly, arms raised forward.

But Jun wasn’t a fragile, cornered animal. He _wasn’t_.

“Please put that down. We can help you.”

“No one can help me.”

“We can figure it out together, alright? Just put that down. You’re bleeding.” Sho extended a hand and grabbed Jun’s wrist just as Jun took another step back, and suddenly Jun found it impossible to tear his wrist away from Sho’s grip. Within a few seconds, Sho was a few centimetres away from Jun, tugging him closer. “Put it down.”

The next few minutes found Jun trying to - but without much success - get away from Sho, or whatever false mirage this Sho was.

The Sho Jun knew wouldn’t have done this, Jun thought. Actively try to stop Jun or put up a fight, looking at him with such fierce eyes and jaw set and so sure of himself.

“Don’t do this, Jun. Please let go. Your hand,” Sho grunted, catching Jun’s wrists in one hand and grabbing his bicep with another. “You need it, Jun. Let go. Let me look at it. You need your hands to draw, to design. You love doing that, don’t you?”

_Did he really need them? Did he really love them?_

Jun broke, breath hitching as his shoulders fell, and head shaking fiercely. “I don’t need them! I don’t want them anymore! Just l-let me b-be.” He blubbered.

In hindsight, his ‘scuffle’ with Sho was futile, for Jun hadn’t the energy or the will to fight. All Jun wanted was for things to stop. He was hardly surprised when he suddenly found himself on the floor, not even sure how Sho managed that. Sho was crouched above Jun, a hand pinning Jun’s injured hand against the floor as Sho pried the broken porcelain from Jun’s hand.

“I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to…” Jun couldn’t muster up any more strength to make his voice louder than it was, despite being fully aware of how feeble and desperate he sounded. But that was what he felt. Broken. From his pinned position and flood of tears, Jun could barely make out Sho’s serious expression, his firm but gentle grip on his bleeding palm as he picked out whatever remaining shards that were embedded in Jun’s palm, hair falling over his face. There was a streak of red across Sho’s cheek where Jun’s blood had smeared in their small scuffle.

Sho had yet to meet Jun’s eyes, and that hurt Jun more than the cut, or the sensation of Sho pressing sterile gauze firmly against the cut to staunch the bleeding.

“…to do this anymore. I don’t want to… I just want things to stop. Please. Just let me…”

He was tired. If he hurt his hands… then he couldstop, right? He wouldn’t have to do anything anymore.

A hand – it was one of Sho’s, the one that wasn’t stained in Jun’s blood and firmly pressing Jun’s injured palm – reached out to cup a cheek, as if to catch Jun’s scattered attention. Jun let out a choked sob, half flinching away from the familiar, so familiar, and warm contact, yet yearning for what he had missed.

“If you don’t want to do it anymore, all you have to do is say no, and quit.” Sho’s voice was low, steady and comforting as he stroked Jun’s cheekbone.

But Jun didn’t want to go back. He didn’t want to do anything. He was so tired. “I don’t want t—don’t make me go back there. I c-can’t. I don’t want to. Just, just…”

If he couldn’t draw, he could have a break, couldn’t he? Jun tried to free his hand from Sho, tried to knock it against the broken shards – they were so close, all he had to do was just…

“No, Jun.” Sho held Jun’s hand firmly, his weight over Jun’s body preventing him moving as well. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, but don’t think I’d let you hurt yourself again. Is that clear?”

Sho sounded… as though he cared.

“I’m sorry.” Jun couldn’t help but blubber. There was so many things he was feeling, a flood of emotions that he had been holding back for weeks, exacerbated by the stress, the heartbreak, the feeling of despondency he had tried to deny. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Jun bit out, strength and will disappearing, leaving behind only a broken frame of a person, that used to be him, lying on the cold kitchen tiles.

Who was he, anyway?

“It’s okay, Jun.”

That name, coming from those lips - it sounded familiar.

xxxx

Jun wasn’t sure what had happened that evening following that incident; He felt like he was underwater, or perhaps as though he was walking through a barren desert, with everything moving around him like a mirage.

One of the most realistic mirages was Nino, clutching tightly to Ohno next to him. It was a reminder of the relationships Jun had lost, had ruined in pursuit of something he couldn’t even bare to look at or think of anymore. Jun wanted to properly apologize, to hug Nino and ask him if he was alright, but he could only manage to open his mouth, word failing him. All that left his throat was a litany of apologies, even as mirage Sho guided him by his elbows, evading the mess he had made.

 _The mess he had made_. Was everything not a mess?

The anxiety ran into a forefront when Sho tried to tug Jun into his room, the space a reminder of _things he had to do - there’s that pinboard full of post-it reminders that there was a departmental meeting in two days, then an after concert review at 5pm the same day. Before that he had a class at 11am and --_ “Don’t put me back in that. D-don’t.”

“We need to get your hand dressed, Jun.” Mirage Sho’s voice was low, as though trying to tame a frightened animal as he tried to guide Jun into the slaughterhouse. “I need a flat surface and better lighting.”

Jun trembled, refusing to step over the threshold even as Sho was already in the room _-prison_. “I don’t want to go in there. I d-don’t want to. Please.” Instinctively, he clenched his fist, shuddering at the sharp pain that lanced across his hand. “Please don’t.”

“You can use my room.”

Nino wouldn’t offer his room - would he? Jun could count the number of times he had gone into Nino’s room in the last three years on one hand - Nino usually preferred being in Jun’s room, or the living room, wherever there was company.

Yet as Jun was being guided to the room, he saw how the beige walls were covered in more photos than Jun recalled seeing since he had last entered… in April? That was nearly half a year ago.

The colours swirled as Sho shifted his grip to Jun’s slumped shoulders, speaking to someone in hushed whispers, giving soft orders.

Then mirage Sho’s attention was back to Jun, dark brown - almost black - orbs that peeked under Jun’s hair to catch Jun’s eyes, the soft repetition of “you’ll be okay.” prodding at Jun’s frayed nerves.

But Jun wasn’t okay. He didn’t want to be okay. Jun did not feel okay, and nothing was going to be okay.

Jun vaguely registered being made to lie down on the bed, head pillowed on someone’s lap as his arm was lowered onto a towel. He shut his eyes. He didn’t want to think anymore.

Smaller hands - smaller than Sho’s, and callused at the fingertips - gently brushed at Jun’s hair, slightly damp from the clamminess of his skin.

“Look what you have done to yourself, Jun-pon.” Nino’s soft sigh accompanied the gentle motions, and tears built up under Jun’s close lids until they trickled down the sides of his head.

 _I’m sorry_. Is what Jun likely would have said, but a sob bubbled up the moment he opened his mouth, and the gentle fingers brushed at his tears with what felt like a cool towel, then wiped his face, perhaps to get rid of whatever dried flaky blood that was on it.

“It’s okay. Sho-chan will fix you right up. You don’t have to apologize. We know.”

Did they know? Jun didn’t know anything anymore. Everything faded into a dark lull of callused fingers brushing at his hair, a steady hand holding his trembling arm down and wiping at the blood, warm hands stitching the torn skin together methodically, the pain blending into nothing but cold darkness.

If only someone could stitch _him_ back together again.

If only…

xxx

The next time Jun awoke, his head pillowed in one of Nino’s super-mushroom plushies and a wet towel was resting over his eyes. His right hand was burning fiercely, and before he could help himself, Jun let out a soft moan.

“Jun-kun. You’re awake?”

It was Ohno’s voice, familiar and soothing as a callused hand touched his elbow.

Jun swallowed, feeling suddenly ashamed. His own academic supervisor was seeing him like this… Jun turned his head away from the direction of the voice.

“Sho-kun is going to bring you to his place. Kazu is helping him pack some of your clothes. I’ll talk to your professors and excuse you from your classes for however long you need, so just rest, alright?”

As painful as it was to hear about how his commitments had to be put on hold, Jun couldn’t help but ask, “Work?”

There was pause, then, “I think it’s time for you to stop, don’t you agree, Jun-kun?”

Jun licked his lips, and forced a nod.

He had to let that one go.

“I’ll talk to them and tell them you’re ill. Once you’re feeling better…”

Jun nodded stiffly. He would have to visit them, to quit formally, of course, but that didn’t mean he wanted to - the thought made his stomach twist. Jun didn’t even want to step into that god-forsaken building.

“But don’t think about it, alright? Just rest. You’ve worked hard.”

xxxx

Jun did not remember much on how he got to Sho’s apartment that night. After the brief one-sided conversation with Ohno, Jun had drifted off again, and the next time he woke up, he was already in Sho’s car, the familiar smell of leather and gentle jostling motion sending him to sleep again.

It was hard for him to stay awake - Jun felt so incredibly tired, yet he knew that he was alone with Sho (finally), and it was the perfect time for him to apologize.

“‘Ho-san.” Jun mumbled softly, eyes opened halfway to register the blurry bright lights of traffic. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, but he could hear Sho shifting slightly.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Jun instinctively attempted to clench his hand, and hissed when his palm burned instantly, pain shooting up his wrist. Next to him, Sho hurriedly grabbed Jun’s hand to stop his motion. “No, don’t do that yet.”

“It ‘urts.” Jun pouted, not quite awake. Sho’s hand was very warm.

“That happens when you slice your hand open, yes.” Sho replied drily, patting his wrist before going back to hold the wheel. “We’re nearly at my place, so don’t fall asleep just yet, would you? Unless you want me to carry you to my place.”

Jun figured that Sho meant it inhumor, but honestly, Jun didn’t care. He was so tired, and...

“I’m ‘orry.”

“What?” Sho’s genuine confusion made Jun’s heart hurt all over again. “Why are you apologizing for?”

_‘For hurting you. For not listening.’_

“Jun?”

It was strange hearing Sho forgo the honorifics, a significant change from before when they were still dating. Jun supposed that such barriers were rendered unnecessary once one had been effectively saved by the other, but his name crossing Sho’s lips was soothing to his aching heart.

Perhaps there was still some hope.

Jun cleared his throat, blinking blearily at his greying vision. “For everything.”

Sho was silent after that, the car quiet besides the muted rush of traffic around them. Jun took in the silence and felt his hope sink further into the spiralling abyss of despondency as he turned away and drifted off once again.

Or perhaps, it was already too late for the both of them.  

xxxx

Everything _hurt_ . His head hurt, breathing hurt, his stomach hurt from throwing up nothing and even his skin felt too sensitive, too painful to even move, despite Jun subconsciously acknowledging that the floor was _cold_ and probably unsanitary.  

Even so, Jun found that he could do nothing except breathe painful breaths, stomach still rolling and head feeling as though someone was running a blade through his eye. He whimpered.

He had woken up with the most piercing pain in his head, location foreign if not for the memory of being brought to Sho’s apartment. It was only by sheer luck that Jun had managed to blindly make his way to the bathroom.

Behind him, the sound of brisk footsteps sent a jarring pain through his head, and Jun whimpered. The whimper turned into a harsh cry of 'No!’ when the lights flickered on; It felt like someone decided to switch on spotlights around him.

Jun had never felt this way before, and he was scared.

The lights were switched off instantly, and Jun moaned gratefully at the darkness. Unfortunately, the very action spiked his nausea, and he found himself heaving nothing but bile into the toilet bowl again, tears and snot running down his face.

A gentle hand met the nape of Jun’s neck, fingers slipping to just under his ear to feel Jun’s rapid heartbeat pulsing in his carotid. His hair and neck was coated in a layer of cold sweat. “Migraine?” came Sho’s voice, whispered, but still harsh in Jun's ear.

Jun whimpered, resting his head against the porcelain, too exhausted and in pain to be worried about hygiene.

The warm hand slipped to rest on Jun’s cold nape, the heat a small comfort. “Okay. Do you want to move to the bed?”  

Jun swallowed the nausea, voice hoarse as he replied. “'can’t. Nauseous. Everything hurts.” He let out a pained sob, sniffing miserably.

Sho shushed him. “Alright. Let's get you settled here instead.”

Sho’s warm presence disappeared from behind Jun, but Jun found himself too weak to move or to turn to see where Sho went.

A warm, damp cloth was suddenly resting against the nape of his neck, warmth relaxing the tense muscles, and a was blanket draped around Jun’s shoulders. Jun felt something soft flutter near his feet, before Sho’s strong arms gingerly shifted him to rest on the soft towels in the ground. The coldness of the tiles did not disappear instantly, but instead stuck to his bones, a deep ache that caused Jun to tremble.

“W-why-” Jun moaned, “why is th-this--?”

“Your body is just rebelling from all the abuse it has taken. It's okay. You're okay.” Sho soothed, rubbing slow, circles into Jun’s back from above the blanket. “It'll pass. I'm here.”

Ignoring the rolling nausea - it's not like he had anything left in him to throw up - Jun turned around to cling tightly to Sho’s chest. He needed something stable, something just _there_ to stop the entire world from spinning, amidst the awful pain in his head and everything that had happened in the last month. He just needed -

“I’m here.” Sho repeated softly, arms wrapped around Jun, steadying the uneasy shakes but not making any movements on his own. Just steady and stable and there.

Jun swallowed, too overwhelmed by his own body’s betrayal, too tired of everything, and so he did all he could do that very moment - he clung onto Sho and did not let go.

xxxx

Jun woke up in a bedroom an indiscernible amount of hours later, head and hand throbbing. His migraine wasn't as sharp as before, but his bones still ached, and his stomach didn't feel as though it could take anything but water. Maybe not even water. His face had been wiped clean, although he really wanted to brush his teeth.

The entire room was dark, curtains drawn closed and lights switched off, while the sheets under him were cool and smooth. The fashion designer side of Jun automatically registered it as silk, and he could not help but smile slightly - of course Sho would have silk bed sheets.

Jun shifted out of the bed slowly, wincing at the dull throb in his head with every step he took to the door. He opened the door, and noted with dull fascination that he was indeed actually in Sho’s bedroom. The lights in the entire apartment had been dimmed to a just barely lit level, but the light was still harsh to his eyes.

“Jun?” Sho softly called out from the living room. Jun shuffled slowly through the hallway, supporting himself with a hand against the wall. He bumped into Sho midway, and the look of concern the doctor gave him reminded Jun of exactly what happened and why everything happened. “Are you feeling better?”

Jun sniffed, nodding slowly so as to not jar his head.

Sho frowned, a hand reaching out to grasp the back of Jun’s head and lightly running his fingers around Jun’s right eye and brow, where most of the ache was centered at.

“Does this still hurt?” Sho asked quietly, and Jun shot the doctor a confused look, unsure of how or why Sho knew where his head hurt the most. Sho caught the confused look, and nodded knowingly. “You don't remember?”

Jun didn't remember everything, no, but he recalled a lot of pain and crying into Sho's chest, and the faintest recollection of Sho staying with him on the bathroom floor, and _oh_ , Sho asking him where it hurt the most and asking him if he needed to go to the hospital.

The concern in Sho’s gaze made Jun’s chest ache, especially when Jun thought about how they had fought. Sho was right. Jun should have stopped, should have taken a break, instead of forcing himself to push on. In the end, all that Jun had done, was to cause their relationship to fall apart with harsh words, accusing Sho of not understanding him, hurting the person who loved him.

And here that person was, standing before him and gently checking on him to make sure that Jun was alright. Sho’s gaze was dark but so full of love and concern, despite how much Jun had hurt him...

“I’m so sorry.” The words spilled out of Jun’s lips before he could stop himself, and Sho stiffened once again, like he had  in the car before. His warm fingers fell away from Jun’s skin, but before Sho could close up as he did that awful night, Jun took several steps forward and wrapped his arms around Sho, resting his head on Sho’s shoulder. “I was stupid. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You understand me better than I do, and I should have listened. I’m so sorry.”

Jun knew he was trembling, but as Sho remained unmoving, Jun felt his heart splintering into pieces as he clutched tightly onto Sho’s shirt, tears soaking into Sho’s clothed shoulder. “I should have taken your advice. Aiba-san told me what happened. You understood. I understand that now, and I’m so sorry because I must have hurt you so much. So...please,” Jun sobbed, “please let me back in again.”

\--


	12. Fall Semester, November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. This part was insurmountably hard for me to write for reasons. Sakumoto cookies for she-who-betaed-this-chapter <3

Sho was not sure what to do as Jun clung to him, crying his eyes out, soaking Sho’s shirt. Frankly speaking, Sho wasn’t bothered by the fact that his shirt was likely getting ruined by tears and snot (he had had grosser bodily fluids on him, and this was  _ Jun _ ). Rather, he was bothered by the fact that Jun was upset over their fight still, something Sho rather saw Jun put aside until he got better. The last thing Sho wanted was for Jun to be eaten up by more negative emotions. 

After all, Sho knew that their fight had been both of their faults, not just Jun. Sho needed to apologize as well. But for now, he had a distraught Jun to console. 

Jun tightened his grip on Sho’s shirt and mumbled softly, “If I’ve hurt you too much, just tell me and I’ll go. But I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Sho could have sighed loudly at the words. 

Sho would never let Jun go away, not when he was like this. Not even after Jun got better, Sho decided, as he shifted to wrap one of his arms around Jun’s waist, and then the other to cup the back of Jun’s head. At the soft whimper Jun released, Sho pressed a soft kiss against Jun’s temple and tightened his grip on Jun’s waist. 

“Crying isn’t going to help your migraine, Jun.” Sho sighed against Jun’s skin, and then smiled softly when Jun petulantly answered:

“Don’t care.” 

“You don’t, but I do.”

Sho forced Jun to pull away and gently led him to the couch, tucking Jun into a corner and draping the nearest blanket around Jun’s shaking shoulders. 

Jun’s face was a blotchy red from his crying, but before he could raise his injured hand to wipe his face, Sho handed him a box of tissues and patted his shoulder. “Sit tight. You need to drink some water so you don’t dehydrate.”

Jun raised his wide eyes to meet Sho’s, and the bright red sent a jolt of pity and protectiveness through Sho, especially when Jun reached out to pull on Sho’s fingers. 

“Hey,” Sho knelt in front Jun, smiling reassuringly. “I’ll be back in less than a minute. Use the tissues, not your hand, okay? I’ll need to change the dressing later.”

Jun seemed to hesitate, pale lips pursing in uncertainty before reluctantly letting go of Sho’s fingers. Not that Sho couldn’t just pry them off on his own, really; Jun’s grip was feeble, his entire stature appearing so fragile and thin  _ and tired _ . 

As promised, Sho spent little time fetching the promised glass of water.

“Here. Drink as much as you can, but don’t make yourself sick, okay?” Sho watched with concerned eyes as Jun grabbed the proffered glass with quivering hands, feet curled up under himself as he pressed himself as close to the back corner of the couch as possible, almost as though trying to hide from Sho despite the earlier outburst. 

_ Perhaps he is afraid of being denied _ , Sho surmised sadly, before taking a cautious seat next to Jun, keeping a small distance between their bodies. He yearned to hold Jun close and soothe his anxiety, but he rather Jun willingly give him permission.

“...You are too nice to me.” 

Sho cocked his head to the side to gently smile at Jun. “Am I?”

Jun timidly nodded, leaning forward to deposit the glass on the table in front of the pair. “Don’t you hate me?” 

“Why would I?” 

“I said those … Horrible things to you! You should be angry! Instead you’re just being so… So… Nice.” Jun finished quietly, looking down at his hands and playing with the edges of the blanket. 

Sho remained silent for a moment, watching as Jun started to chew on his lower lip in unease, fingers tightening on the fabric draped around his body until his knuckles went white. Sho clucked his lips at the sight - that wouldn’t do for Jun’s cut. Reaching out slowly, he lightly covered Jun’s bandaged hand with his own, and lightly pried Jun’s fingers away from the throw. 

Jun flushed lightly at the action, and mumbled a soft apology. 

“Can I come closer?” 

“What?” 

“Closer. Can I hug you?” Sho repeated slowly.

If Sho were being honest, he felt slightly out of his depth - he wasn’t Aiba, trained to help people like Jun. No, he was just a doctor, and the only thing he knew was how to help people with their physical afflictions - the only comfort he could provide Jun was a physical one.

The soft sound Jun made, could have either been a yes or a no, but Sho couldn’t help himself - not when Jun was looking at him with his large eyes, sclera still tinged pink, dark rings around his eyes only adding to his fragile appearance. In a smooth motion, Sho had his side pressed against Jun’s warm body, Sho’s arm wrapping around Jun’s shoulder to pull Jun close and have him rest his head against Sho’s chest.

Sho closed his eyes when Jun hesitantly shifted closer to Sho, releasing a shaky breath. 

_ Finally _ , he had Jun back again. 

A little bit broken, but still Sho knew the flame within Jun had not been extinguished, merely… Dampened. All Jun needed was to find his passion again. 

But only after enough rest. 

“I missed you.” Jun quietly confessed into Sho’s shirt. 

Sho lightly played with Jun’s hair in response, running his fingers between the locks before lightly massaging Jun’s scalp. 

“I missed you too.” He paused, searching for the words he had been thinking of for the past few hours while waiting for Jun to wake. “...I’m sorry too. It’s my fault as well. I should have told you from the start, but I’ve… Always been ashamed of what happened. Aiba-chan and Leader were very patient with me, and they tried to help, and I rejected them for a very long time. And then, well, you know what happened. I’ve known Aiba-chan since high school - he’s stuck with me even during my ‘rebellious’ days, and I repaid him with neglect. I repaid both of them with neglect. Most days I wish I could pretend it never happened - and for that I’ve let this happen to you.” 

“Sho-san—,” Jun started, but Sho was not done yet. He pressed his forehead against Jun’s hair and tightened his hold around Jun. 

“Forgive me, Jun. I should have told you the truth from the beginning.” 

The room was silent, save for their breathing - or rather, for Jun’s breathing, as Sho found himself holding his breath, waiting for Jun’s response. 

Then Jun laughed. He laughed a small laugh that carried a tone of hysteria, one which immediately grabbed Sho’s concern as Jun turned to press his face against the hollow of Sho’s shoulder. His face was wet as he giggled against Sho’s skin, and Sho could not help but voice his concern. 

“Jun?”

“S-Sho-san… I don’t think,” Jun’s tone was brittle as he stammered, “I don’t think it would have changed if you told me about it earlier anyway.”

“We don’t know th--,”

“I know.” Jun moaned. “I know. It wouldn’t have done anything. Don’t you see, Sho-san? It’s really just my fault. I did this to myself.” 

Panicking, Sho hurried to shush Jun’s incoherent ramblings, suddenly feeling at loss of what to say or do - he had not expected for Jun to react that way. “Don’t say that. You’ll be okay.”

“How would you know?” 

It was a valid question. How would Sho know? 

“I don’t. But you won’t be alone in this. I promise.”

xxxx

“I don’t need a babysitter, Sho-san.” Jun huffed as he slowly finished his breakfast: Rice, miso soup and omelet (or whatever Jun could use from Sho’s fridge) - eyes narrow as Sho wore his coat and leaned in to press a kiss against Jun’s forehead. 

It was only a few days after the incident, but Jun had convinced Sho to go back to work, citing that he was fine being alone.  

“Aiba-chan isn’t a babysitter, and you promised you’d talk to him.” Sho reminded Jun, chuckling at Jun’s pout. Despite the light-heartedness, the topic was a fairly morose one, and Sho would be lying if he said that he was alright with Jun being alone. 

Jun had been extremely quiet since his small bout of emotionally fuelled hysteria. Somewhere within that bout, he had ended up falling into a disturbed sleep on Sho’s lap, likely due to how worn out he was. The following days had Jun sometimes curling up next to Sho, and sometimes staying away and staring blankly at the wall, lost in his thoughts. Sho wished he knew what was going on in Jun’s mind at those times - there was an inherent sadness in his brown orbs, dark rings under his eyes that didn’t go away with sleep. 

At the same time, Sho recognized that it wasn’t healthy for Jun to remain cooped up inside, with only Sho as company. Which was why he had asked Aiba to accompany Jun, knowing that at least out of them two, Aiba would be able to help Jun a lot more than Sho could. 

“I finish work at 6. Do you want to have dinner outside?”

Jun looked surprised at the offer, eyes brightening just a bit. “Do I get to pick where?”

“Just text me the place and I’ll meet you there. I left the spare keys on the table.” Sho briefly looked at his wristwatch. “I should leave now or I’ll be late for work. Aiba-chan said he’ll be by in an hour with …A  _ friend _ , that is to say, he’s bringing an animal or ten, so you might want to brace yourself for that.”

The crooked smile Jun shot him stayed with Sho for the rest of the day. 

\---

Jun couldn’t help but stare at the ferret that was draped over Aiba’s shoulder when he opened the door to let the man in. The small creature was a light cream colour, with a noticeable dark brown mask pattern on its face which reminded Jun very much of raccoon dogs… And of Nino. 

“Grab your stuff! We’re going to Chiba today!” Aiba grinned toothily as he dangled his car keys between his fingertips, eyes and tone exhibiting none of the pity or wariness Jun had heard from Sho in the past few days. 

He did not harbour any resentment for Sho treating him like he was fragile - the doctor did try his best to hide it from Jun, but Jun would rather pretend nothing happened and that he was merely on a short, surprise ‘vacation’. That being said, Jun appreciated Aiba’s exuberance and chattiness as he drove the the two of them (or three, if Jun counted the ferret - his name was KAZ, in capital letters, apparently) to Chiba’s Natural History Museum*, filling up the silence with random facts and questions, accepting distracted hums as answers. Jun felt bad about it, but he found it difficult to garner sufficient mental energy to respond decently to Aiba, and the man didn't seem very bothered by it, radiating enough energy for the two of them. 

“We’re here!” 

Jun blinked at the sight of cars around him, finally registering that they were indeed in the parking lot; he had not been paying attention, despite having his eyes directed at the window next to him the entire time. 

“Oh. What are we doing here, exactly, Aiba-san?” Jun asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt, watching warily as Aiba tried to persuade KAZ to wear the small ferret leash with soft croons. 

Jun hadn’t been to Chiba, ever. But from the looks of it, it looked like most prefectures that were next to Tokyo: a bit of a backwater area, but cozy and quiet. Peaceful. 

“To look at their mushroom exhibit! And to take KAZ out for a walk. He needs to exercise his leg. His leg was broken when he was rescued, but he’s gotten too used to being carried around by everyone and is just a lazy ferret now.” 

KAZ made a distinctively peeved sound at Aiba’s comment, as though he had understood that Aiba was insulting him. 

“I mean, lazy but cute ferret.” Aiba corrected placatingly. 

Jun blinked and shook his head, smiling slightly. He would never understand Aiba’s fascination with animals. Save for Shoko-chan and the baby capybaras, Jun didn’t have a good track record with animals. Most of them preferred to scratch or bite him. 

It took a considerable amount of time to convince the weasel to actually  _ walk _ after being put down on the concrete ground. The little creature had to be dragged momentarily for five minutes - to Jun’s dull amusement - before reluctantly moving forward with an annoyed chitter.

He reminded Jun of someone, for sure. 

Following that, Jun let himself be led around the museum and park, nodding at Aiba’s continuous commentary on mushrooms and ferret habits. 

“You should host your own TV show, Aiba-san.” Jun commented offhandedly as he watched Aiba yelp for the nth time that afternoon when KAZ nipped at his fingers  _ again _ . 

They had taken a small break under a gazebo, and Aiba was trying to get the stubborn critter off his lap. The pair made for excellent entertainment, Jun thought. “—An animal-related one.” 

“Stop biting me—” Aiba complained at the ferret before giving up entirely, letting the creature take its nap on his lap, clearly tired from the barely long walk. “Nah. Humans are more interesting.”

“Are they?” 

“I think humans are a lot more complex, in some ways. There’s always room for change. Less so for animals, on a purely biological stance, of course.” 

Aiba’s response was innocuous, but Jun knew there was more meaning to his words besides science, especially when Aiba patted his shoulder comfortingly, in a way that informed Jun that Aiba was more or less privy to what had happened, despite not being there when Jun had his meltdown. 

Of course, it was likely the case that Aiba was just being polite by not mentioning it. 

“How much did Sho-san tell you?” Jun’s tone was brittle, but not from unfriendliness. He couldn’t help but cover his bandaged hand with the other, shame rising in his throat like nausea, yet not quite. After all, Aiba had been one of the people who had  _ tried _ to look out for Jun, and just another person Jun had ignored. 

“He only asked me if I was free to talk to you today. Sho-chan knows you appreciate your privacy, but… It isn’t that hard to figure out what might have happened. But I won’t assume anything of course. Just tell me whatever you want me to hear.” 

Jun picked at the edges of his bandage, lips pressed together as he wondered where to start. Sho had taken a lot of care making sure that the cut was kept clean, stitches uninfected. When Jun asked him why he was being particularly meticulous about it, Sho had merely pressed his lips against the edges of the gauze, as though that one small action explained his motives. 

Perhaps Jun did understand Sho’s motives. Sho understood that at the base of Jun’s ‘dreams’ - or what was his dreams were - was his ability to draw and to handle his fabrics and designs. Sho likely thought that it would crush Jun further if he lost that. 

Not that it mattered much now, anyway. 

“I just…” The words seemed to fail on his lips, even as Aiba patiently waited, never actively prying.

“I got tired.” Jun finished lamely, unsure of how else to proceed besides letting whatever thoughts spill. “I don’t even know why I tried so hard in the first place. I just wanted to be certain. I’ve spent so long convinced that it was the only way and now I’m just really… Tired. Tired and utterly terrified of going back and doing it all over again. I don’t even know what to do anymore.” 

“Aren’t there other options for you?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to know.” 

“It’s okay, you know,” Aiba lightly elbowed Jun. “To not know. Most people don’t know. It’s okay to try something out and realize it isn’t for you.” 

“But I was good at it!” Jun snapped. “I was good at what I did. That was why I wanted to do it.”

“Being good at something doesn’t mean you have only one job option. There are plenty of other careers out there that involves design and event planning. If you shined as you did in Joh— as you did before, you would be fine wherever you ended up.”

“Except I don’t want to do it anymore. I’m terrified of even picking up a fucking pencil. Tell me how I’m supposed to do anything when I’m like this!” Jun near-shoved his injured hand in front of Aiba’s face, breathing heavily as his hand trembled almost imperceptibly. “And to think I did this to myself. I hate that I did this to myse—,”

Aiba silenced Jun by grabbing his hand and pressing it against the coarse fur of the napping ferret on his lap. The warm thrum of KAZ’s heartbeat killed Jun’s train of thought instantly. 

Jun could see the appeal of using animals for counselling. 

“I think you deserve a nice break.” Aiba gently patted his hand, his calm tone distinctively different from Jun’s frazzled state. “Do what you want, what you haven’t done in a while because you’ve been so busy. Go out with Sho-chan, play some Mario Kart with Nino, whatever you feel like doing.”

“I have to go back. I still need to quit. And wrap up my final year portfolio. I don’t even know what to do for my final year portfolio.” 

It was the former that Jun was really afraid of - what look would he earn from his supervisors? Disappointment? Or pity? How would they react if they saw him like this? And could Jun really find it within himself to walk into the building and tell them he wanted to quit? 

“There’s a lot of people who are willing to help you if you ask them, Matsujun. And haven’t you gotten most of your final year portfolio done already? You’ve been working on it for a while, haven’t you?”

Jun rubbed his eyes, tired. “The main piece isn’t… I don’t want to talk about it right now.” 

Aiba nodded knowingly, before picking up the snoozing ferret and cradling the creature in the crook of his elbow. “Of course. Shall we get some lunch then? We can pick Leader up from the museum gallery.” 

_ Leader? _

xxx

Jun couldn’t help but feel mildly bewildered as he found himself seated across from Ohno and Aiba, a large spread of chinese food between them. KAZ had taken residence around Ohno’s shoulders, face hidden behind his ear in a way that made Jun awarethat it wasn’t the first them the two had been together. 

“Jun-kun. You should eat more.” 

A gyoza was placed onto Jun’s bowl of rice, still three-quarters full. Jun blinked, half confused, before nodding in thanks at his advisor, cheeks warming at Ohno’s watchful gaze. 

“So…” Jun asked after taking a bite of the mapo tofu, “Why exactly are you in Chiba, Ohno-sensei?” 

“Their mushroom exhibit. I’m making part of next spring’s exhibition mushroom-themed, so I got permission to work on some of the sculptures in the museum.” Ohno explained between mouthfuls of rice. 

“Spring exhibition?” Jun lowered his chopsticks, forehead pinched. 

Was this another thing he had missed? Ohno-sensei was his academic supervisor, for christ sake. Jun should know th— 

“Don’t worry if you didn’t know, Matsujun. He  _ forgot _ to tell  _ Nino _ .” Aiba reassured, nudging the plate of steamed gyoza closer to Jun. “You should eat more, really.” 

“Oh.” Jun blinked, feeling his uneasiness melt away to amusement. “You forgot to tell Nino? He must have been annoyed when he found out.” 

At the thought of Nino, his mood fell again (like a roller coaster, Jun realized in hindsight), appetite lost. The two must have sensed his trodden mood, Aiba hurriedly explaining how Ohno had been a useless puppy the entire time Nino had ignored him. Jun merely nodded despondently, suddenly missing his best friend.

“You know, Nino is usually with me nowadays, especially since he has to rest his wrist for a few more weeks and he can’t really work. Why don’t you visit us in the weekend, at the art gallery?” Ohno gently queried, eyes crinkling at the sides. “I know he misses you because he’s been looking grumpily at his phone.”

Right. Jun hadn’t looked at his phone in a while. He carried it around for the sake of texting or calling Sho whenever, but he had nearly forgotten that he could text anyone easily; his friends, Nino especially. 

Visiting the gallery seemed like a good idea as well, Jun realized - he had missed working there. 

It seemed as though it was a long time ago when he had worked there, when things were calm, pace almost ‘slow’ - slow in relation to his lifestyle during and after the summer vacation, of course. 

He had thought a lot in the past few days, thinking about when things had gone wrong. In retrospect, Jun knew it was not just a matter of that job he took, but also what Sho had pointed out to him during their fight. 

Jun couldn’t say no. 

When all was said and done, his supervisors at Johnny’s gave him plenty of opportunities, but Jun never had to take up all of them. He could have denied them at any time, especially when he knew he had other priorities besides  _ work _ . Yet Jun did not.

“...Sure, of course.” Jun mumbled when he realized he had yet to reply to Ohno’s question. “Is Nino alright?” 

“He’s good. Less demanding after I gave him what he wanted.” 

Jun gaped at the languid response, worries forgotten for a moment at how casual Ohno was being. “What?” When Ohno opened his mouth to clarify, Jun hurriedly interrupted, “No, don’t tell me - I don’t really want to know.” 

Aiba snorted mid-gulp, before turning to look at Jun curiously, a smirk tugging at the edge of his lips. “Why not? We’re all adults here. Or are you trying to hide something from us, Matsujun?” 

Jun pointedly inched away from the table when Aiba leaned in close. 

“Don’t hold back on the details. Have you found Sho’s old belly-button piercing yet? We’ve known him for a long time - we could probably tell you his kin—”

“Shh…!” Jun hissed as he hurriedly looked around, slightly scandalized. “This is a family restaurant! YOUR family’s restaurant, in fact. We shouldn’t talk about this topic here.” 

“Oh, so you  _ do _ actually want to talk about it, then?” 

Jun felt his cheeks warm at the accurate assessment, occupying his hands and mouth with lunch before he threw his chopsticks at Aiba. He had to admit though, learning about Sho’s  _ belly-button piercing _ was an excellent distraction. 

xxxx

**[About dinner, can we stay in instead? - Jun]**

**[Of course! Do you want me to pick up something on my home then? - Sho]**

**[No, it’s fine. I’m dropping by Aeon* with Aiba-san and KAZ. - Jun]**

**[Don’t let him get to the banana section unless you want to hear innuendos. KAZ? - Sho]**

**[Thanks for the warning. The ferret. - Jun]**

\---

The apartment was filled with the fragrance of ginger and garlic when Sho got home from work that evening, the soft sounds of a knife against a chopping board and a light sizzling sending a warm comfort through Sho. He had been used to living alone since he graduated from medical school, but this… This was nice. 

Coming home to someone. 

Sho peeked into the kitchen and felt his heart stutter slightly at the sight of Jun, forehead pinched in mild concentration as he finely shredded the cabbage, pork belly sizzling in the pan.

_ Ginger pork belly. _ Sho internally groaned. He hadn’t had home-cooked japanese food for so long. Aiba had always cooked what he knew - chinese food - and Sho could only manage the most basic of foods.

“You know, it’s rude to stare.” Jun commented drily without turning around. 

“But you make a pretty sight.” Sho crooned, and watched as Jun blushed faintly at the compliment. 

“Smooth.” 

Jun sounded a lot better - tired, likely from being dragged around by Aiba, but his mood was lighter, back straight as he shifted the large strips of cooked pork loin onto the plates, colour back on his cheeks. Sho figured Aiba wanted to tire him out naturally, bringing him to places around Chiba - after all, it was not healthy for Jun to stay home, curled up and sleeping. 

If Aiba hadn’t done so, Sho would have dragged Jun out during the weekend, when he had no shifts. 

But tire him out, Aiba did, if the picture of a sleeping Jun in Aiba’s car was any indication, along with the message, ‘Looks like no fun for you tonight!’ followed by a series of hearts and bananas. 

(Jun clearly failed to avoid the banana section.) 

It did not matter to Sho, as long as Jun was happier.

“I was talking to the dinner you’re plating over there.” 

“Another word from you and you’re going to be eating only shredded cabbage and sliced okra for dinner. You won’t even get the miso soup I made.” Jun glanced at the covered saucepan on the counter, and raised an eyebrow at Sho. “So, you were saying?” 

Sho raised his hands in surrender, eyes wide with excited wonder.  _ Miso soup!  _ Was today his birthday? “Did I ever mention how much I love you?” 

“...No?” Jun released a cute yelp when Sho wrapped his arms around his waist and squeezed. 

Sho buried his face into Jun’s nape and inhaled deeply. An irrational sense of satisfaction swelled in his chest when he realized how Jun smelled like his shampoo. 

With a voice just audible to the two of them, Sho breathed, “I love you.”  

“You’re a sap.” Jun responded, tone strained, but pleased. “A dorky, handsome sap, but a sap nonetheless.” 

Sho snorted, and tightened his embrace. 

“Doctor Octopus, if you want your dinner, please let go of me.” Jun wriggled slightly in place, and Sho conceded with a small pout, backing away with slight reluctance, then almost eagerly when he realized how  _ good _ dinner looked. 

Then promptly decided that he would marry Jun just for his cooking skills if Sho could, when he took his first gulp of the miso soup Jun had made. 

xxxx

When the doorbell went off thrice in quick succession on Saturday morning, Sho had to blink blearily multiple times before shushing the stirring Jun next to him. They had slept late the previous night, having stayed up watching movies on the TV in Sho’s room, before things turned somewhat…  _ Hot _ between them.

They hadn’t gone too far - Sho wasn’t comfortable with having sex with Jun just yet, not when Jun was still emotionally fragile. 

‘Fragile’ wasn’t a term Sho enjoyed associating with Jun; Jun was strong, and Sho would enjoy turning him into a trembling mess once he took Jun, but for now…

For now, Sho would wait until Jun found his bearings again.

Nevertheless, they had fallen asleep without their shirts on, and morning temperatures in November were cold, making the warm bed (the warm bed with  _ Jun  _ in it, no less) very inviting. 

The doorbell rang once more, and Sho groaned quietly. Sighing, he tugged the duvet over Jun’s bare shoulders and lightly traced the side of Jun’s face - marvelling at how innocent he looked asleep -  then forced himself out of bed.

“This had better be important.” Sho grumbled, tugging his shirt over his form and slipped out into the genkan.

He was stunned to see a crying Mai outside his door, eyes red as she impatiently pressed the bell once more. 

“I’m opening the door, wait a moment.” 

Sho hurriedly unlatched the door, stunned as his sister barrelled into his chest and started to  _ bawl _ into his shirt. Alarmed, Sho awkwardly locked the door while one-handedly patting her hair. This hadn’t happened in  _ years _ , not since her first boyfriend broke up with her during high school, but Sho couldn’t fathom what had happened.

Admittedly, his weekly calls with her revealed that she had been having several wedding planning woes, but he had never expected such an extreme response. Not when she had a fiance that was supposed to be taking care of her. 

“Mai, Mai, what’s going on? Where’s Yuuto-kun?” 

Mai sniffed miserably, letting Sho guide her to the couch and accepting the box of tissues he offered. 

“T-this wedding p-planning is driving me i-insane.” She blubbered semi-unintelligibly, and Sho winced. 

He wasn’t too surprised - the family she was marrying into was of equal standing to theirs, and that usually meant extremely involved in-laws and  _ traditions _ (Sho rolled his eyes at the thought) to be followed. 

For a moment, he wondered if it was too early to take out the alcohol. However, the doctor in him won, and he settled on putting on the kettle for tea. 

“I’ll make some tea.”

“I want alcohol.” She moaned, and he snorted. “And chocolate.” 

“You can have chocolate. Not alcohol. It’s too early.”

“But—,”

“Tea, chocolate, and you can tell me what’s going on.” Sho interrupted, rummaging the fridge shelf for the bar of semi-sweet chocolate Jun had gotten during his shopping trip with Aiba. “Is this you trying to avoid Yuuto-kun, by the way? Because he will find you eventually, you know.” 

“I’m not hiding from him. I’m hiding from his older sisters and mother.” Mai whined, nibbling at the chocolate miserably. “I’ve already accepted their ‘requests’ to let them plan the traditional part of the wedding, kimono and shrine and everything, b-but now… They won’t even let me pick my own wedding dress!”

Sho frowned and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “What does your husband-to-be think about it?” 

“He said he’ll talk to them about it…” 

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” 

“But… I don’t want to make them disappointed either. It’s Yuuto’s family and…” Mai’s lip trembled, and Sho sighed, wishing he knew what to say. “But they have such conservative tastes and I don’t know how I’m going to find a dress that’ll suit my and their tastes a-and…”

“Mai…” Sho sighed, hearing the kettle go off in the kitchen. “Wait, let me go grab you some chamomile —”

“Sho-san?” Jun’s sleep-tinged voice cut through their conversation, and Sho grimaced. 

Jun had never met any of his family members, and Mai had only briefly heard of Jun when Sho mentioned of his plus one for her guest list. The last thing he had wanted was for the two to meet in such a situation, one  _ half-naked(!) _ and the other in the middle of a pre-wedding blues-related breakdown.

_ So much for a calm weekend _ . 

Sho shot Mai a semi-apologetic look, having had forgotten to mention that he had company. However, she seemed star-struck as she looked at Jun, eyes looking up and down as Jun rubbed his eyes behind his glasses and ruffled his hair. 

He could understand her expression. 

“Sho…” Mai started slowly, expression stunned. 

Jun seemed to realize they had company, shoulders stiffening as he looked between Sho and Mai, and Sho’s comforting hug. Despite the compromising position, Sho knew Jun would be able to tell who Mai was. 

“...I don’t know where you found him, but is there more of him?” 

Sho looked scandalized as he snatched his hand away from her. “Mai!”

In the hallway, Jun shook his head and went into the kitchen. “I need coffee. Do I start on breakfast for three?” 

“And he cooks — Sho! I want one.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chiba’s Natural History Museum* - It’s more of a park than a museum, so…. Yep.
> 
> Aeon - it’s a chain of malls and supermarkets in Japan


	13. Fall Semester, November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly at the end. Lots of Love to my beta. This was an exceedingly long chapter. Warning that the chapter contains long smut, and that if it seems fragmented, it was writing that way intentionally.

“So basically your to-be in-laws are making you miserable and giving you little say in how the wedding should go?” 

Jun had chosen to sit on the carpet across from the couch, batting away Sho’s grabby hands that had insisted Jun sit next to Sho instead. Besides it making for an awkward way to have a conversation with Mai, this was the first time Jun was meeting someone from Sho’s family - he wasn’t going to present himself as a clingy boyfriend, despite said boyfriend’s sister insisting he  _ not _ put on a shirt. 

(Jun ignored that request, grabbing the first hoodie he found in Sho’s closet and pulling it over his head. He had immediately ignored the satisfied sound Sho had made when Sho realized he was wearing his Keio hoodie.)

“I-it’s not like they’re making me miserable.” Mai weakly defended, and Sho snorted in an unglamourous manner next to her. 

Jun ignored him, and took another sip of his hot coffee. “If you came here crying on a Saturday morning over wedding manners, I’d call that making you miserable.” 

Mai sighed, lips pouting in a way similar to her brother’s, and Jun smiled at the sight. 

“I can’t do much about it… Yuuto-yan’s family is… well,” she looked at Sho for some help, who shrugged and completed her sentence for her: 

“Like ours.” 

Jun nodded in understanding, gesturing for her to continue. 

“But the promise was that I’d get to pick my wedding dress, at least, but then this morning they sent me five bridal magazines with ‘appropriate’ wedding dresses marked, and told me to pick one!” 

Mai burst out in tears again, and Sho hurriedly handed her more tissues and chocolate, patting her back comfortably while shooting Jun a helpless look. Jun merely grimaced. Family - no, wait -  _ in-laws _ . 

It was amusing, however - Jun’s event management class was focused on wedding planning, and he vaguely recalled receiving a lecture on dealing with wedding blues. 

“Did you like any of them?” Jun asked sympathetically, although from her reaction, it wasn’t hard to predict her answer. 

“No! They’re… Okay, but it’s not what I wanted. And I don’t think I’ll be able to find a dress that they’d agree to, with what I want.” She sniffed unhappily. “But I don’t want to fight with them on this either…”

Jun clucked his tongue. It was a difficult situation, but certainly a compromise could be made. “It’s your wedding. You should have a little say on it, at least. Can’t you compromise?” 

“I agree. You’ve been miserable about this for months now. Don’t you think it’s about time you resisted just a bit?” Sho added, yelping when Mai then elbowed him. 

“You don’t get to tell me about rebelling, you.” She hissed, and Jun chuckled, before ordering Sho to grab him a piece of paper and pen.

Sho grumbled but obediently followed Jun’s orders, and took the opportunity to join Jun on the carpet and force himself on Jun, pressing against his side. Jun’s cheeks warmed at Sho’s blatant display of affection, but Mai did not seem bothered by Sho’s childishness. Instead, her expression was of curious wonder, making Jun wonder if the side of Sho Jun saw everyday was one limited to him and him only. 

Feeling irrationally happy at that thought, Jun allowed himself to sink into Sho’s warmth. 

“Why don’t you tell me what you like that you’d think they wouldn’t approve of, and we’ll work with that?” 

‘Work with that’. Jun was not sure what had compelled him to say that, yet there was none of the fear and anxiety, that had been plaguing Jun recently, in the phrase. Perhaps it was because this was Sho’s sister, or perhaps Jun missed this part of his work. It could also have been Sho’s presence next to him, breath close to Jun’s ear as Mai relayed what she desired. 

“There is also… One thing which I can foresee that they’d never agree to…” Mai trailed off. Jun raised his eyebrow, looking at the list he had in front of him. An open back design was likely to give her future in-laws an aneurysm, if they were as conservative as Jun imagined them to be. He couldn’t imagine anything else that would be more ‘no’ besides the plunging neckline.

Next to him, Sho was dozing off. 

“I don’t want my wedding dress to be only in white.” Mai fiddled with her fingers awkwardly. Jun shrugged. Fair enough - some people wanted to get married in red, or black, or blue. “But my in-laws are all for white for purity and all but I don’t want to…” 

Next to Jun, Sho’s eyes snapped open as he hurriedly covered his ears. “I don’t want to hear anything about you and Yuuto doing  _ it. _ ” 

“I wasn’t even going to menti—”

“NO! No!” Sho buried his face into Jun’s shoulder, “I’m not hearing it. I don’t want to hear it.” 

Jun smiled exasperatedly at the sibling interaction - Mai flinging a pillow accurately at Sho’s head when he refused to let go of Jun, Sho yelping and only trying to use Jun as a human shield - but at the same time, found his heart warming at the idea of being soeasily pulled into their familial antics. 

xxxx

“Jun… I know I’ve asked this already but —”

“I’ll be fine, Sho-san.” Jun rolled his eyes as he tugged Sho into Ohno’s art gallery, the chime going off as Jun pushed the door open. “Stop worrying, please. I know what I’m doing.”

Being back in the gallery felt familiar. Good. Working in Ohno’s gallery had never been something Jun forced himself to do, nor did he have to work ‘hard’  That was to say, it had been boring work, but he had been relaxed and could make use of the excess time for his studies.

A firm tug prevented Jun from moving forward. “Jun, I’m serious. You don’t have to do this, you know. Mai can hire a wedding dress designer. You don’t have to force yours—”

Jun sighed and hurriedly pressed a kiss against Sho’s lips to silence him, the doctor making a surprised sound at the sudden action. When they parted, Jun lightly patted Sho’s shoulder. 

“I know. I’m not forcing myself, alright? I’m grateful that your sister actually trusts me enough to do this.” 

It was apparent that Sho was trying to hide his doubt, but Jun knew better than to get angry at Sho now, especially since said doubt arose from concern for Jun’s welfare. Furthermore, there was a more pressing issue for Jun to be nervous about: Nino. 

“Have some faith in me, alright? If you see me doing something entirely stupid, I give you my full approval to stop me and knock me on the head.” 

“I won’t knock you on the head.” Sho huffed, before sneaking a hug. “I’m just worried.” 

Jun returned the embrace, squeezing Sho’s waist and giving the man a small smile. 

“I want to do something. At least I can do this.” 

‘ _ For someone. _ ’ Jun added internally. He had yet to find a good reason to do it for himself, whatever that meant, but it was certainly better than staring blankly at walls and filling himself with self doubt. 

A hand lightly stroked Jun’s cheek. “Do it for yourself, alright?” 

Jun didn’t bother to respond to the question; not that he could, especially when he found himself suddenly being whacked in the head by the tip of a paintbrush. 

“Ow! What on —” 

“I was waiting for a call! Or a text!” 

Jun turned around to the sound of Nino’s shrill voice, tone offended and upset. “And then I found out that you met Oh-chan and Aiba-shi but not me! I thought you loved me more, Junpon.” 

At the last statement, Jun couldn’t help but sigh in relief. Despite sounding offended, the last bit made Jun certain Nino wasn’t as angry as he sounded. If he was, Jun would have felt too guilty to properly face Nino, even if his best friend was currently waving a (thankfully, clean) paintbrush above his head. 

Sho replied before Jun. 

“He loves me more than anyone, so there.” 

“He loves anago sushi and soba more than you!” Nino swiftly retorted, ignoring Sho’s sputters of offense and reaching out with grabby hands for Jun. Jun took the opportunity to take a good look at Nino, frowning at the sight of the cast, now decorated in a series of rainbow-coloured mushrooms.

“Did Ohno-sensei get to your cast?”

“Yes. Now give me a hug. Poor me deserves one, don’t you think so?” 

Jun had nearly forgotten how easy it was to be around Nino. Although he would not openly admit it, Jun had missed Nino’s easygoing snark, and hearing it once again was like a breath of fresh air and normalcy. 

Perhaps Jun should consider going back soon. 

Nino lightly tugged at Jun’s fingers in a meaningful manner. “I have your notes from your classes.” 

“You collected them?” 

“No, I had your juniors do it for me, of course.” 

Jun rolled his eyes, unsurprised at the response.

“But they were wondering when you’d be back. I’d like to give them an answer, if you don’t mind.”

Stiffening, Jun glanced over to Sho, but was met with a genial and supportive smile, a hand reaching over to weave his fingers between Jun’s available ones, and lightly squeezing. It was, after all, Jun’s own decision.

Nino did not seem fazed by Jun’s hesitation, instead changing the topic before either of them could blink. 

“So what are you doing here today, besides visiting me? Oh-chan is in the back finishing up one of his pieces. ” 

“...I was wondering if I could borrow some materials from Ohno-sensei.” 

“Project?” 

Jun nodded, and was thankful Nino decided not to pry further, instead pouting slightly. 

“And you won’t stay longer? I’m bored. You know how Oh-chan gets when he ‘arts’.” 

“We’re going to Shibuya after this, actually.” 

Instantly, as Jun expected, Nino grimaced at the mention of the always incredibly busy area of Tokyo. “I’ll be here then. Bored out of my wits.” 

Smiling weakly, Jun added, “I’m going to quit Johnny’s, actually.”

It wasn’t something he was looking forward to, period. 

“Oh.” Nino paused mid-whine, then nodded seriously. “Good for you.” 

Jun hoped his smile didn’t feel as fake as he knew it was. “I guess so.” 

A gentle push on his back by Sho, as well as the gentle look in Nino’s eyes informed Jun that his expression must have been unconvincing.

“Come on. Let’s talk to Leader then. He might be wondering where you’ve gone by now.”

xxxx

The sound of jingling keys and the door opening drew Jun out of his thoughts as he stirred the pappardelle pasta into the mushroom and leek sauce. 

“I’m home.”

Jun hummed when he felt Sho hugging him from behind, pinching his forehead at the smell of hospital that was stubbornly attached to Sho’s clothes - it wasn’t foul, per se, but it did not smell like Sho. 

From next to Jun’s ear, Sho took a deep inhale, and groaned softly when the smell of the creamy pasta sauce reached his nose. “Dinner smells great.” 

Jun couldn’t help but smile at the reaction, Sho’s pleasured groan doing many  _ things _ to Jun, both physically, and mentally. He was happy to be doing something for Sho, after everything the man had done for him; it also made him feel useful, better from how useless he had been feeling lately.

He stiffened, suddenly remembering that he really needed to get his life together again and decide what to do post-graduation. Helping Mai with her wedding dress was a good distraction, as with doing these little things for Sho, but sometimes reality would hit Jun and he’d remember that this wasn’t what he _ should _ be doing - just like in this very moment, heart thudding in his chest uncomfortably.

Quitting had been a lot easier than he had expected - there was a lot of concern arising from how Jun had looked, what he had looked liked, and some sadness from their part over having lost a ‘talented’ member, but with none of the pity Jun had expected. Having Sho there had helped a lot, although Jun could not help but feel just a bit empty and hopeless once all was said and done. 

“Jun? You're tensed up. Is everything alright?” Warm lips press against his neck, and Jun forced himself to relax at the contact. For once, just this once, Jun wanted to deal with…  _ this _ problem on his own. No one could help him through this. 

“I'm good. But you smell like antiseptic, so go and shower, would you?” Jun complained half-heartedly as he switched off the burner and left the pasta to rest in the pan. 

Not yet feeling comfortably enough to look at Sho without having his face betray his anxious feelings, Jun grabbed the half-cut baguette and the bread knife in the drawer, getting to work in preparing some garlic bread. 

There was little movement from Sho where he had stubbornly latched onto Jun’s back in a hug, but he ( _ thankfully,  _ Jun thought) simply kissed the nape of Jun’s neck in agreement. 

“Alright. I won't take too long. I'm starving and that looks really good.” Sho promised and walked away, Jun’s back feeling cold instantly without Sho’s presence. 

Nevertheless, he pressed on silently, focusing on cutting the baguette into generous slices. Then brushing olive oil on both surfaces, followed by rubbing a cut clove of garlic on the cut side. Set in the oven. 

Jun did his best to leave himself very little time to think, moving onto load the dishwasher with the used pots and knife, then plating up the pasta and keeping the leftovers in the fridge. Moments like these were the worst, Jun felt; idleness, yet he could not bring himself to want to do anything but simply… Wait, and let his mind get the best of him. 

_ An idle mind is a devil’s playground.  _

His fingers tapped impatiently on the kitchen countertop - despite having nothing to be impatient about, besides himself. He needed to get to work. To, at least, finish up his final year portfolio from where he had paused prior to the whole mess. And then after that….

After that… He didn’t know what to do. He needed to figure out what to do. Living with Sho for the past three weeks had been good - Jun could always find a reprieve with Sho, but he could not run away forever.

The timer next to Jun’s fingers went off just as a half-naked Sho stepped out from the hallway, still towelling his hair dry, the sound and sight pulling Jun out of his thoughts in a startled motion. 

Before he could find himself distracted by Sho’s half naked body and burn the garlic bread, Jun hurriedly switched off the oven and shifted the bread onto a separate plate with a pair of tongs (Sho would likely scold him if he used his still recovering hand). 

They had their dinner quietly, the companionable silence punctuated by Sho’s moans of pleasure and praises for dinner. Once again, Jun felt himself preen at the praise, blushing even, especially since Sho had yet to wear a shirt, hair still slightly damp, and the sight of him was distracting Jun from finishing his dinner.

He was so distracted that he did not realize Sho had finished his dinner before Jun had even cleared three-quarters of his plate, to which Sho merely rested his head on the table and watched Jun with intense eyes. Jun nibbled on the garlic bread in response, then asked, “How was your day, Sho-san?” 

The response was quick, “It wasn’t very exciting, but that’s good. Better have lesser people in the ER than too many.” 

Jun nodded absentmindedly, forking the last of the pasta into his mouth and chewing slowly.

“How was your day?” 

_ Helped Mai pick out fabric and lace for her dress. It was … Fun? Most things felt … okay, a bit better now. Came back to the apartment and did readings for art history class. Made dinner. All in all... _

“It was… Okay.” 

Sho cocked his head cutely at Jun, eyes knowingly bright. 

Sho must have been able to read his slow response - of course he could. What could Sho not do? “Mai messaged me and told me you both were out picking the fabrics and lace for her dress. She told me to thank you once again for helping her with this.” 

“It’s not a problem, really.” It made Jun feel like he could do something, at least.

“No, really, Jun. I haven’t seen her light up like that since she told me she was engaged. The wedding planning hasn’t been going the way she would have liked it to, as you’ve seen, and the dress was the last straw for her. So, thank you, really.” 

‘It’s the least I can do.’ is what Jun would have, or should have said, for modesty’s sake if it was a client. But at this moment in time, it was literally the  _ least _ Jun could do, and nothing more. And that bothered him more than he could imagine. So instead, Jun replied with a stiff, “It’s fine.”

Sho suddenly stood up and pulled Jun to his feet with a swift jerk. “Okay, that’s it, come here.” 

He ignored Jun’s surpised yelp and protest of:“The dishes--” 

“Can wait till tomorrow, or I have a functioning dishwasher that I can use. Now…,” Sho sat down on the couch and pulled Jun onto his lap, Jun feeling his face warm when he palms landed on Sho’s bare chest in a move to balance himself. ”...Relax and tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

“Sho-san…” Jun tried to look anywhere but at Sho’s face, for he knew that if he did so he’d likely blurt out all his  _ stupid, unnecessary thoughts that he knew he shouldn’t worry about or think of, yet here he was. _ Unfortunately, Sho cupped Jun’s nape and tilted his head to catch Jun’s eyes, dark brown irises swirling with concern. 

“There’s nothing going on in my head.” Jun finished pathetically, internally slapping himself at his shattering defenses. 

Sho laughed, the small sound making Jun smile weakly as well, before pulling Jun down to slowly kiss the tip of his nose. “Liar. You suck at lying, though.” 

“Shut up.” A small smile cracked at the edges of his lips. “Do not.” 

“Do too. You’re such a poor liar. I can see it in your eyes.” Fingers shifted to stroke at Jun’s temple, Sho smiling softly. 

Could he? Jun wondered what his eyes  looked like. Did they look as hollow as Jun felt? Sometimes, Jun missed the hecticness, for at least, that made him feel slightly more human. 

The ruffling of his hair drew Jun’s attention back to Sho, and he tsked in slight protest at the motion. He  _ hated  _ having his hair messed up, be it by Nino or by Sho. “Oi.” 

“There we go. You were blanking out again. Now I know that the best way of getting your attention is by messing up your hair.” Sho teased. 

“Don’t you dare.” 

“I would.” To prove his point, Sho reached forward to tug at Jun’s hair again, smirking at the glare Jun shot at him, then softening it to a heart-stoppingly gentle smile, large palm around Jun’s nape tugging him closer until Jun rested his head on Sho’s shoulder. The warm thrum of Sho’s heartbeat beneath Jun’s hand brought more peace than he ever thought it would - it was comforting, paired with Sho’s soft stroking of his hair. “I would keep doing it until you tell me what’s going on. Come on. I’m hurt you’d think I wouldn’t be able to see it. Your eyes get sad when you get lost in your thoughts, you know.”

Jun couldn’t hide anything from Sho, he realized. And for once, he didn’t really mind. 

“I don’t know what to do.” At the bitterly-spoken words, Jun felt the familiar, anxious bleakness bleed into his mind. “I hate not knowing what to do.” 

Sho hummed, and prompted, “What do you mean when you say that?”

“I know what to do now… To finish what I need to finish, but afterwards... What am I supposed to do?” 

Jun knew the answer he was going to receive from Sho. The same routine answer he received from Aiba when Jun admitted to him how afraid he was of uncertainty, of not knowing what to do or expect from the future because Jun  _ needed _ to know, he needed to know where to go, what to aim for: 

“You know… it’s okay to not know—,” 

“Of course, you’ll say that. Everyone does.” Jun scoffed, moving back slightly but huffing when Sho grabbed onto his hips to keep him in place, sniffing unhappily. His eyes stung as Jun felt frustrated-bitter tears welling up. He hated that response, and he hated how that might be true for some people - many people, Jun knew, but not… Not  _ him. _

He was  _ supposed  _ to know, he  _ did _ know, but now he didn’t know because what he thought he knew he wanted to do, he did  _ not _ want to do it anymore. Thinking about it frightened him now, and Jun absolutely hated himself for having done this to himself. 

“Hey. I wasn’t done yet.” Sho snapped, the fierceness in his voice a familiar, but rare tone that Jun had only heard once previously;that night when Sho had forced Jun to the ground to stop him from hurting himself any further. 

Jun snapped to attention instantly - it was hard to ignore Sho when he assumed that tone - and fiercely met Sho’s frown with his own sharp, albeit teary glare.

“As I was saying, it’s okay to not know,” Sho narrowed his eyes warningly when Jun’s lips pursed in an unhappy sulk, “but whatever happens, I’ll be right there next to you.” 

Jun’s sulk turned into a small gape, vaguely aware of how wide his eyes must have been. Sho’s expression remained serious, pouty lips jutting out ever so slightly in his certainty. 

Perhaps it might have been Jun’s high-strung emotions and frustrations with himself, or Sho’s declaration of love in his  _ still _ half-naked form, or perhaps a mixture of all the factors, but Jun wasn’t sure what overcame him when he seized Sho’s cheeks in his hands, ground his hips against Sho’s, and kissed him. 

It was not a neat kiss, not one of sweetness and gentle yearning as their first kiss, nor the soft burning passion they shared in Jun’s bedroom; it was fervent desperation, looking for solace in a conflagration of lips, tongue and teeth, in hands on bare skin and scratching at the firm back muscles. 

It did not occur to Jun that he was still crying, for all he knew was that he needed Sho with him - in him - to take the pain away. But the taste of saline was noticeable between their lips, and Sho made a surprised noise. 

“Jun, no.” Sho mumbled into Jun’s mouth as he cupped a hand on Jun’s cheek and tried to force some distance between them. “We really shouldn’t do this, not when you’re like this.” 

Despite his words, Jun could hear how breathless Sho was, as well as feel the forming bulge between them that betrayed his lust. 

“Please. Please just...I want you.” Jun breathed wetly into Sho’s neck. His voice broke even as he sucked at the skin beneath Sho’s jaw, tears not stopping still. Taking advantage of Sho’s half- naked state, Jun feverishly ran his hands down Sho’s chest, lightly stroking the erect nipples beneath his fingers and feeling the soft groan it pulled from Sho. “Please, Sho.” 

“Fuck, I can’t take advantage of you like this, Jun.” Sho groaned as he grabbed Jun’s rolling hips, head thrown back in an effort to stop them. However, the comment only spurred Jun further, moving from Sho’s neck to suck at his stiff nipple - Sho arched at the motion, a choked “Jun.” falling from his lips. 

There was no words to properly express Jun’s desperation, his own cock hard against Sho’s, but Jun needed more than Sho’s moans and the feel of his body beneath Jun. 

“It’s not taking advantage of me if I want it.” 

“It…” Sho’s voice cracked when Jun moved on to the other nipple, a hand cupping the back of Jun’s head. “That’s not the point, Jun.”

“Then what is?” Jun’s face felt grimy from the tears, yet he did not let the tears stop him from reaching between their bodies to cup the bulge in Sho’s sweatpants, a dark spot already forming. Jun might be a virgin, but he was a man too, and he knew how to make Sho feel good. “This?” He slipped his hand into Sho’s pants and circled the hot organ, using his thumb to swipe at the moist glans. 

Sho shuddered at the action, roughly tugging Jun’s head back by his hair as Sho shot Jun a dark look of half annoyance, half arousal. 

Jun met his stare with a stubborn look on his own, chin inclined in faux arrogance - faux, because Jun did feel as fragile as Sho thought him to be, but he could not afford to show it; not when a denial from Sho would likely break him more than Sho fucking him senseless.  

Their stare-off lasted for a few seconds, before Sho broke it with an uncharacteristic eyeroll and exasperated groan. “You’re so fucking incorrigible.” 

And then he cupped Jun’s neck, and forcibly smashed their lips together, tongue invading Jun’s parted lips to plunder his mouth, barely leaving time for Jun to breathe, much less react. Instead, Jun could only moan and weave his fingers into Sho’s hair, Sho’s hot palm sneaking under Jun’s shirt to rest on the small of his back and  _ push _ Jun closer to him, their clothed erections meeting together in what Jun felt to be a pleasurable, but insufficient contact.

“Ngh, Sho—”  Jun whined when Sho ducked down to suck along his jawbone, resting a finger in Jun’s mouth and  _ invading _ and  _ pushing _ down at Jun’s bottom teeth. Jun moaned at the action, his mouth being forcibly parted and causing drool to build on the side of his mouth. Sho seemed uncaring of the mess Jun’s face was, biting gently at Jun’s ear and rolling their hips together with a smooth cant upwards. 

“Bedroom. I'm not taking you on the couch for your first time.” Sho breathed into Jun’s ear, before mouthing at the soft cartilage. The sensation of Sho’s hot, wet breath in his ear set Jun shuddering, a garbled moan escaping his still forcibly parted mouth, kept open by Sho’s fingers - two fingers now - while Sho’s thumb stroked his cheek gently. 

Jun made a garbled sound - a cross between a whine and a moan when Sho removed his fingers and tapped at Jun’s hips - Jun had not wanted Sho to stop. 

“Don’t whine. Come on.” 

Jun let himself be led by the hand to Sho’s bedroom, almost dizzy with arousal as Sho pushed him to lie back on the soft sheets. Jun parted his legs instinctively for Sho, however, found himself flushing in mild embarrassment when Sho did not make a move towards him. Instead, Sho remained standing, the bulge in his sweatpants _extremely_ prominent as he stared almost hungrily at Jun, eyes raking back and forth over Jun’s flushed form. 

“I think,” Sho started, just as Jun began to close his legs from the building self-consciousness, before he could close it fully, however, Sho planted his knee between Jun’s ankles and grabbed his thighs, holding them apart. “That wasn’t nice of you to take away my view. I wasn’t even done talking yet.” 

“You were staring!” Jun snapped, still fighting to close his legs, but found it impossible with Sho’s strong arms stopping him from doing so. “Didn’t anyone tell you it’s rude to stare?” 

“Oh, is it?” Sho kneaded Jun’s thick thighs in response - the action sending heat straight to Jun’s cock - and knelt between his legs, leaning in very close to Jun’s face, eyes dark. “But you’re very pretty… And I think you’ll look even better once we get your clothes off.” 

Sho’s hands sneaked under Jun’s shirt to tease the skin under his ribcage - just as he did that night in Jun’s room - and tilted his head expectantly at Jun. He smiled when Jun squeaked in mild embarrassment at the previous statement, tightly shutting his eyes to settle his suddenly fluttering nerves. Sho was so close that Jun could feel every exhale, the warm air tickling his nose.

“...Are you going to remove your clothes or are you waiting for me to do it for you? Didn’t you say you wanted this, Jun?” 

“Shut up.” Jun’s eyes flashed open at the tease, cheeks pink as he reached down to tug at Sho’s sweatpants, then wriggling under the older man. “Maybe I’d strip if you got off me, and if you took these off too.”

Somehow, the smirk Jun received from Sho made him feel even more unsettled as the man stood up and removed his pants in a swift motion. In contrast, Jun was taking his clothes off at a slower rate, feeling less confident than he was mere minutes ago. Despite his evident shyness, Sho continued to shamelessly stare at Jun’s body, patiently waiting as Jun revealed his bare skin bit by bit. The only indication of Sho’s impatience was when he began to lick his lips, eyes flicking down at Jun’s chest, then blatantly looking at Jun’s erection when he finally removed his pants and underwear. 

Jun wasn’t sure whether to feel ecstatic that Sho was staring at him, or embarrassed at the sheer amount of attention he was getting from Sho. 

Then Sho crawled above Jun’s body, the brief brushing of their bare skin against each other drawing a soft moan from Jun at the foreign but pleasurable feeling. It made him want to touch Sho even more, and Jun acted on that desire, impatiently wrapping his arms around Sho’s muscled back and running his palms across the warm skin as Jun reached up for a kiss. 

Sho avoided his lips entirely, earning another whine from Jun - one that was cut off when wrapped his lips around Jun’s nipple instead, and sank his teeth into the sensitive bud.  

“Ngh--” The shock of the action sent Jun’s back arching towards Sho. However, Jun was not expecting the burst of pleasure when their erections meet each other at the movement, a moan leaving his throat as he wrapped his legs around Sho’s hips and bucked upwards again, searching for that glorious friction. 

And again, this time mewling at the slick slide of cocks against each other, pressed between their bodies. 

_ So. Good. _

A strangled groan found its way to Jun’s ears. It took Jun a moment to realize that it was, in fact, coming from Sho, who had stopped abusing his nipples, and instead was nosing at Jun’s sternum, planting small kisses and lapping kitten licks on the small patch of skin, then moving up to force his tongue into Jun’s mouth when Jun let out a strangled “S-sho.” 

It seemed as though Sho had decided to resume his earlier pillaging of Jun’s mouth, tongue running along the edges Jun’s teeth and pressing against the roof of his mouth and  _ tasting _ . Jun could barely breathe, hips still bucking upwards, chasing the sharp bursts of pleasure that accompanied every jerk. 

What he could not understand, of course, was how  _ the fuck _ Sho was so composed with Jun grinding up against Sho, especially when Jun himself felt like he was falling apart, whining and panting harshly into Sho’s mouth. The only sign that Sho was getting off on the act as well was the building slickness between their bodies and the incrementally heavier breathing.

Jun considered trying to compose himself - to pace himself, because he knew if he wanted Sho to fuck him tonight, he would have to slow down before he came… Yet, Jun did not care, not in that moment, when everything felt  _ good _ and he felt so much better, more  _ human _ than he had in awhile. Not even the thought of him appearing desperate and needy in front of Sho would stop Jun now. 

And so he chased whatever hedonistic pleasure he could, taking whatever Sho would give him. Jun’s mouth and tongue fought desperately for a dominance Jun knew he could not win, not at that moment when his senses were slowly being taken away, by just the mere act of frottage, no less. 

Jun might have been ashamed by how little composure or stamina he had then, but he really  _ couldn’t care less. _ Especially when Sho suddenly slid a hand down to rest on the small of Jun’s back - the burning contact sending shivers down Jun’s spine - and  _ pushed _ just as Sho ground  _ down _ towards Jun’s raised hips. 

“F-fuck, fuck, Sho. S-so… So good.” The words bled to a harsh groan, stars painting across Jun’s vision at the increased friction and Sho’s hot palm against his almost feverish skin. A familiar tension-pressure began to pool at Jun’s thighs as Sho’s hand supported every buck upwards, each slide and press of their cocks against each other driving Jun closer to euphoria.  The sound of Sho’s heavy breathing was loud in his ear - that, at least, Jun could feel mildly smug about, if he had the means to retain any thought. 

Jun’s fingers began to scrabble at Sho’s back as he inched closer to an orgasm, whines growing more desperate and bucks irregular until --

Until Sho sat up suddenly, depriving Jun of that final push.

“N-no! Come back.” Jun whined, reaching out limply for Sho’s hand and scratching at Sho’s palm when he heard Sho chuckling breathlessly  _ at him _ . “I was so close.” 

“I know you were.” 

Jun shut his eyes with an unhappy groan, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath, hips still twitching occasionally, as though in search for a certain  _ someone _ . He felt extremely strung out - almost delirious - from being edged so close, and that annoyed him significantly. “I fucking hate you.” 

Sho laughed again, this time sounding more composed than he was a few moments ago. Jun almost hated how unruffled Sho was - how was it possible that Jun felt as though his heart was going to fly out of his chest when Sho was so calm? Was it age? Experience? Jun rather not think of the latter, jealousy and possessiveness blossoming in his chest at the thought. 

“Calm down.” Sho rested his warm palm on Jun’s chest, the firm but gentle pressure dissimilar to the racing of Jun’s heart. “I want you to last the night.”

“What makes you think I can’t?” Jun glared at Sho accusingly, feeling far more in control of himself. (Jun would not admit that Sho’s hand on his chest helped him regain his composure a lot quicker than he had expected.) 

“Oh?” Sho’s fingers started to play with Jun’s nipples, twisting and pinching as he responded nonchalantly: “Is that a promise?” 

Jun tipped his head back at the resumption of sexual torture, breathing in deeply and exhaling slowly as Sho’s other hand began to stroke his inner thigh, squeezing it slowly. From the corner of his eye, Jun noticed Sho’s dark gaze focusing on his neck, then shifted his gaze down slowly to look at Sho’s cock. 

Jun hadn’t looked at it properly, not when he was nervous previously, but now that he felt relaxed, he could better appreciate Sho’s naked body. At the sight of the erect organ, glistening with precome, Jun couldn’t help but tense in want, but also in uncertainty. The thought of having Sho  _ in  _ him, tearing him apart…

Jun shivered, but steeled his resolve. “Maybe you’ll know if you actually fucked me, Sho-san.” 

“Fair enough.” Sho moved away suddenly, gesturing at Jun to move further up the bed. Jun complied with mild confusion, leaning against the pillows as Sho reached into his bedside drawer and pulled out a tube of lube and a foil square. Then paused, looking at Jun curiously. “I’m clean, but do you want to…?” He gave the condom a look, and waited for Jun's reply. 

Jun fidgeted nervously, swallowing the thick ball of emotions as he shook his head. He wanted to feel Sho when Sho moved to lie next to Jun, instead of between his legs, and guided Jun’s nearest leg over his own.  

The action made Jun feel exposed. He itched to close his legs, but knew that Sho was intentionally doing this to him. Unwilling to proverbially lose to Sho, Jun turned to suck at Sho’s collarbone and neck instead, hiding his pink cheeks as he grabbed Sho’s cock in his hand and lightly stroked it. 

Sho moaned lowly at the contact, but the sound did not detract Jun’s focus away from the new experience that was touching someone else’s cock - Sho’s cock, specifically. It was not too different from his own, the skin feeling almost like soft velvet covering warm steel, although it was slightly larger in girth, veins prominent. Jun couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight of the organ - perhaps, and Jun wasn’t sure where the thought came from, he could suck Sho off in the morning. He wanted to taste. 

For now, he wanted to see Sho fall apart. Tracing the veins with his index finger, Jun circled Sho’s cock just under the glans, and lightly twisted. The motion caused Sho to jerk with a harsh moan, to Jun’s satisfaction. 

However, his smugness did not last too long as Sho grabbed his wrist before he could continue.  

“Don’t try to distract me, Jun.” 

“I’m not.” Jun lied.

“Right. And I can draw.” Sho shifted his grip to intertwine their fingers, bringing up Jun’s hand to kiss the back of it “Have you ever touched yourself while thinking of me?” 

Jun knew there was no real point in lying at this point of time, but he turned to hide his face in Sho’s neck when he mumbled out a soft “Yes.”

“How about fingering yourself?” Sho’s tone was professional, almost detached except for an underlying arousal that only made Jun harder. “Be honest. I’ll know if you lie.” 

“...I tried.” Jun mumbled into the crook of Sho’s shoulder, cheeks warming.  _ God _ , despite his embarrassment, Jun couldn’t help but feel slightly turned on at how the conversation was proceeding. 

“But?” 

“But it felt weird and I stopped.” Jun shuffled nervously once again, then looked accusingly at Sho when he saw the smirk on Sho’s face. “What is this, a medical examination?” 

“We could try that next time, if you’d like.” 

_ Fuck. _

He was not expecting that answer. Nor did he think he would find that hot, yet…

“Oh, you like that, don't you?” Sho’s eyes were almost black when he looked at Jun. “I didn't know you were that kinky, Jun.” 

Well, in all fairness, Jun didn't think he was _ that _ kinky either. He swallowed uneasily, and hoped his voice wasn’t shaking when he bit out, “So are you going to fuck me or are we going to just chat all day?”

Sho responded by pushing the bottle of lube into Jun’s palm, then responded, “I want you to prepare yourself first.” 

“But…” Jun had to resist the urge to push the lubricant back into Sho’s hand and ask him to prepare him instead. Somehow, Jun knew Sho was challenging him, especially when he had that shit-eating grin on his face. “...Alright.”

He made a concerted effort to not look at Sho as he opened the cap, the loud ‘click’ echoing unusually loud in the quiet room, and willed his hand to not shake as he squirted the cold gel onto his fingers and spread it between the digits. Next to him, Sho  _ helpfully _ adjusted the position of Jun’s right leg, holding it up with a firm hand on his thigh to expose Jun’s entrance once Jun had planted his left leg on the mattress instead. 

The position was so revealing, exposing Jun in such a promiscuous manner that Jun wished he could hide his face right then. But he had no option to do so, of course, especially with Sho watching his every movement, almost challenging. After all, Jun did demand for Sho to fuck him. 

Face red with both embarrassment and arousal, Jun shyly brought his right middle finger near the puckered entrance, and circled the opening with the slick finger. He was not sure of what to do, but was certain that he was going to  _ try _ to put a show. 

He sank his finger in, just the tip, face scrunching up at the strange, foreign feeling, his body naturally clenching against the intrusion. Jun really disliked doing this - preparing himself. For one, it had never felt particularly good for Jun, thus he rarely not tried more than one finger, and second, he always felt awkward whenever he did it, despite wondering how it’d feel if he had Sho’s fingers in him instead. 

Unfortunately, it seemed that the doctor was in a particularly sadistic mood that evening, eyes watching Jun’s hand in an almost hawk-like fashion as Jun forced himself to relax against the intrusive finger. Jun could not help but whine in discomfort when he finally managed to sink the finger all the way down, pausing entirely as he frowned, cock only half-hard now. 

Sho clucked his tongue. Before Jun could ask why, Sho had already moved from next to Jun to in front of Jun, eyes glued to Jun’s exposed pucker, and reached forward with his fingers, slippery with lube. (Jun’s brain froze for a moment - when did that happen?) Sho lightly pressed along the rim, then with the slippery fingers, spread Jun’s splayed thighs even further, leaving smears on his skin. 

“What are you doing?” Jun managed to croak, suddenly a lot more aroused than he had been several moments ago. He took advantage of the feeling of Sho’s soft, strong hands on his legs - now his ass - as a distraction, retracting his own finger, buried within him, and then repeated the slow, pistoning motion. 

“Getting a better view.” Sho replied seriously, using his thumbs to flank the sides of Jun’s hole and spreading it open further. “I think you can put another finger in now.” 

Jun glared, breath getting heavier under Sho’s intense stare. “The last I checked, you weren’t the one with a finger in his ass.”

“Another, Jun.” Sho repeated firmly. Jun gulped, biting his lip as he retracted until only the tip was buried inside him. The next time he pushed his fingers in, Jun let out a soft whimper at the burn, only managing to move up to the first knuckle. Around his phalanges, Jun could feel his muscles fluttering.

Was Sho’s cock really going to be in him? 

“Relax.” Sho soothingly rubbed at dip between Jun’s pelvis and thigh, occasionally going close enough graze Jun’s balls, but not providing enough contact for the touch to be pleasurable. “You look amazing like this, by the way.” 

“Shut up.” Jun huffed, embarrassed, managing to scissor his fingers incrementally, grunting at the slight burn the action brought. Despite the mild pain, Jun could feel his body opening up, and pushed in further, groaning slightly when his fingers were finally buried deep. 

Fingers gently brushed Jun’s hair away from his forehead, reaching down to tip Jun’s chin forward, their eyes meeting. “You really do look amazing, Jun… Tell me, how does it feel?” 

“Weird.” Jun stuttered out. It did feel weird, and he still did not like it.

Sho chuckled, leaning forward to catch Jun’s lips in a deep kiss. Caught off-guard, Jun did not notice when his fingers slipped out of him to instinctively cup Sho’s nape despite still being covered in slick lube. Nevertheless, Sho did not seem affected by it, inching closer and sucking at Jun’s lip, seemingly focused on getting Jun hard again with just his skilled mouth and…

_ Oh. _

Jun breathed a whine when he felt one of Sho’s finger slowly sink into his open hole, its movement more confident as Sho stroked his inner walls with that seeking finger - a large contrast to Jun’s own, unsure actions. “Sho! What are yo-”

His words died in his throat when Sho retracted his finger and re-inserted two in the next thrust inward. The motion burned, but now that it was Sho that was doing this… Jun could not help but be turned on. It was one thing to have Jun’s own fingers buried within himself, but to have Sho’s fingers in him, prodding and sliding…

“Fuck, you’re so tight and hot around my fingers, Jun.” Sho grunted into Jun’s collar. 

Jun hissed when Sho began to scissor his fingers. The action was not painless, yet Jun had to admit that Sho knew what to do and where to press to make Jun’s body tingle. “S-sho, fuck, your f-fingers...”

“You said it felt weird, didn’t you?” Sho blew into Jun’s ear, breath hot and wet and sending shivers down Jun’s spine. “When you were fingering yourself. Does it feel different when it’s me doing this to you?”

Jun simply clutched onto Sho’s shoulders in response, unwilling to tell Sho that the answer was a wholehearted  _ yes _ . Despite his stubborn silence, Sho seemed to be able to read his body anyway. 

“No? How about… if I do this?” 

Just as Jun was about ask what ‘this’ was, Sho crooked his fingers within Jun, skillfully identifying and pressing a spot that made Jun’s toes curl, strangled moan unintentionally escaping him along with his previous discomfort. 

He could not understand how Sho knew exactly how to  _ touch _ him, but Jun didn’t care - he wanted more. 

(It occurred to Jun later that Sho  _ is _ a doctor.) 

Jun dug his nails into Sho’s back as Sho continued his precise assault, a slow but deep, persisting pressure that had Jun wheezing for  _ more,  _ for  _ Sho. _

“Good, isn’t it?” Sho’s voice was professional but warm, with only the barest hint of amusement. Jun wished he could glare at Sho, but right then, all Jun could think about was how close he was getting from Sho’s fingers in him. “Let me teach you.” 

Jun watched with half-lidded eyes as Sho grabbed his hand, the one still slick with lube, and inserted one of Jun’s fingers alongside his fingers, the stretch causing Jun to whine. The stretch burned, but Sho’s skilled fingers alongside his own only added to the delicious feeling. 

“Focus, Jun.” Sho roughly bit on the inside of Jun’s inner thigh, but Jun could not- He could not focus on the sensations being shoved upon him by Sho, moreover gather enough wits to pay attention to whatever ‘educational’ lesson Sho decided on. “Feel where my fingers are resting at?” 

Jun nodded incoherently as he panted, eyes barely focused on Sho’s face as his finger rested right next to Sho’s, feeling and —

“Touch. Stroke it gently.” Sho breathed. His pupils were blown wide with lust, but if Jun had the mental capabilities to do so, he would have marvelled at how steady Sho sounded despite their position right now. When Jun did not move, Sho leaned in closer, lips touching just the corner of Jun’s parted mouth, fingers twisting with Jun’s  _ within _ him and, “Do it. I want to see you pleasure yourself.” 

At the order, Jun did so, a moan spilling out from him as heat pooled between his thighs and up his spine, the addictive feeling of being filled with his and Sho’s fingers pushing Jun to the edge despite having barely started.  _ Fuck _ \- is this what it was like to have a patient lover? With Sho’s gaze transfixed by Jun’s face entirely, watching his every reaction as Jun writhed at the continuous attention. 

Jun had forgone any pretense, fucking himself on Sho’s and his own fingers as he called out for Sho repeatedly. Between his legs, his cock was hard as steel, leaking onto his belly and making an absolutely indecent mess that would likely get on the sheets, but Sho did not seem bothered by it. 

No, Sho did not care - not when Sho placed a hot hand on Jun’s twitching abdomen and smeared Jun’s precome, eyes black fire and watching as said hand traced Jun’s hips and then wrapped around Jun’s stiff cock. 

And almost instantly, Jun spilled on Sho's hand, a loud cry accompanying his wide-eyed shock at having come just from  _ damn fingers _ . The look of satisfaction and arousal Sho wore would have irritated Jun if not for the fact that he was still riding the orgasmic high, back arching and toes curling, legs still being forced apart by Sho’s immobile form in front of him. 

“G-god…Fuck.” Jun whispered, then laughed breathlessly, grabbing Sho's wrist to pull his fingers out (and only twitching slightly at the soft jolt of pleasure the action brought).

“Nope, just Sho would be fine.” Sho teased, cupping Jun’s face and stroking his cheekbone in wonder and adoration. “You're amazing.” 

“And you're a dork.” Jun huffed, but smiled. 

Despite the light-hearted humor, Jun hadn't yet forgotten Sho’s own need pressing against his hip, and in a swift action, flipped their positions to straddle Sho’s hips, hands pinning Sho’s wrists against the mattress. His flaccid cock started to harden at the feeling of Sho’s arousal near his entrance, sliding deliciously between his buttocks in a way that Jun knew was affecting the doctor as well, if the deep, baritone groans were an indication. 

“I quite like you like this. Under me.” 

“I like you above me as well.” Sho replied coolly, “Although I might appreciate it a bit better if you let me go.”

Jun grinned, and bent down to nuzzle against Sho’s chin. 

“Jun.” This time, Sho’s tone held a warning. Jun couldn't help but chuckle, releasing Sho - Sho could have broken out of his grip anytime he wanted too. The chuckle turned to a full-blown giggle when Sho proceeded to tickle Jun's sides.

“You're a minx.” Sho grunted against Jun’s ear, affected by Jun's squirming body against his cock. “You make it so difficult for me to focus on anything that isn't you. I've wanted you in my arms for so long.”

Heat pooled between Jun’s thighs at the words as Jun suddenly found it hard to breathe, emotions welling up along with his  _ need _ for Sho. “I'm sorry.” 

“Don't apologize. Not for that.”

Jun blinked back his tears, nodding vigorously as he kissed Sho, tongue slipping into Sho’s mouth to caress his teeth. How lucky was Jun, to have found love with Sho?

xxxx

The first intrusion of Sho into him stung; but then the mild discomfort bled into a feeling of fullness and hunger that Jun could not explain. The first roll of Sho's hips up and into Jun turnedhim in a moaning mess, fingers scrabbling against Sho’s chest as Jun fought to not fall onto Sho, body held taut above him. 

The second shallow thrust upwards had Jun writhing as Sho sat up, crossing his legs underneath Jun and hugging Jun to his chest. The adjusted angle made the penetration feel even deeper than it likely was, and Jun was caught between crying out Sho’s name, moaning, and breathing. Sho felt so big within him, his presence filling a metaphorical space in Jun that he wasn't aware of, not until then, as Sho clutched Jun's hips and guided each downward thrust to match with his own upward bucking. 

Sho was a largely quiet lover - besides the quiet grunts and groans whenever Jun clenched around him.Sho also kept up a stream of praises and whispers that had Jun whining. 

“You're so good. So beautiful. You feel so fucking good, Jun.” 

On Jun’s part, babbling a litany of 'Sho’ and pleas of 'more’, 'harder’ was all he could do, and Sho  _ gave  _ into every demand. 

This was what Jun wanted. To forget everything else but Sho. To  _ feel _ . That was what Sho did to Jun, and his presence grew more addictive every moment Jun demanded for more and Sho gave it to him. 

Even in bed, Sho's actions represented the man. He was like the finest wine in the world - but also the soothing balm to Jun’s soul. 

“S-sho. Sho. S-sho.” Jun’s whines grew louder as he dug his nails into Sho’s back, cock twitching between their bellies and yearning to be touched as the pressure grew unbearable. “Please. So close.” 

And then Sho pushed him onto his back, form looming over Jun as Sho grabbed Jun’s leg to rest his ankle on Sho’s shoulder. When he thrusted into Jun, Jun might have wailed if Sho had not kissed him right then - their previous position had Jun feeling the depth of each thrust, but this position emphasized the  _ strength _ of each thrust as Sho hastened his speed. Jun stared at Sho in unfathomable pleasure, eyes large and innocent as Sho  _ plundered _ his body in search for both of their pleasures. 

Each thrust brought them  _ closer _ ,  _ closer.  _

Just as colours began to bloom in Jun’s vision from the overwhelming pleasure - mere millimetres from the edge - he felt Sho take his cock in hand, the shock causing him to jerk and —

“Remember this, Jun. Tonight, I didn’t fuck you because you begged me too; I made love to you because I love you, and I'm never going to let you go.”

Jun could have cried if he’d had the breath to do so, but instead, he clutched onto Sho’s hot body; Sho, whose rhythm had gotten erratic and groans shamelessly loud as he pumped Jun’s cock between them while kissing Jun’s neck and — 

They both cried out almost simultaneously as Jun spilled himself between their bellies, and Sho gave one last deep thrust and came in hot spurts within Jun, hips twitching. 

As the pair caught their breaths, Jun had to fight the overwhelming surge of emotions at Sho’s last words as he watched Sho breathing heavily, his eyes tightly shut and arms trembling as he held himself above Jun’s body. 

_Perfect._ _Sho was perfect, amazing -_ he was a lighthouse, a safe haven amidst the tempest that was Jun’s life; and Jun wanted to return the favour, in whichever  way he could. 

He hadn't even realized Sho had gotten up until the sensation of a warm wet towel met his abdomen, the unexpected feeling causing him to jerk.

“Shhh… I'm just cleaning you up.” Sho soothed, cleaning between Jun’s thighs and looking up in concern when he saw Jun's face. “Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” 

Jun merely reached out for Sho, cupping his nape and pulling him close - dirty towel thrown somewhere next to the bed - and pressed a salty kiss to Sho’s lips. At the questionable sound Sho made, Jun nodded vigorously. “Fine. I'm good, and I'll be better eventually. Sho—”

“Hmm?”

“I love you too.” 

xxxx

“Sho?”

Sho hummed sleepily, tightening his arm around Jun. The room was getting progressively colder now that the sweat was drying, especially in the early winter air, but Sho’s body was like a hearth.

Jun would miss this, but he knew that taking that one step would be good for him. And that wasn’t to say he couldn’t stay over on some nights anyway - Sho wouldn’t say no. 

He’d have Sho with him the entire way, no matter what happened. 

“I think I’m ready to go back home.” 

What he meant by  _ home _ was really his and Nino’s shared apartment, but Jun knew that Sho understood. 

In reality, Jun’s real home had become Sho and wherever he was. And it was for that reason Jun knew that it did not matter where he went; Sho wanted to be with him every step of the way, and Jun would try. 

Try for himself, try for the person who loved him, try for his friends that had been like a family to Jun. 

He felt a kiss on his nape, and that only cemented his resolve. 

“Will you stay the weekend at least?” Sho asked good-naturedly, sliding his hand down to draw circles on Jun’s hip. 

Jun laughed, and turned to look at Sho - Sho’s eyes were warm and sleepy, but shining with a pride that made Jun’s heart flutter.

“Of course.” 

—— 


	14. Fall Semester and After... (Epilogue)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over! :) Thank you so much for have stuck this long with this fic. This chapter is self-betaed, but I'd like to thank xdestroying for beta-ing most of the chapters in this fic! <3 I'm sorry I got impatient >> But best of luck with your exams <3 *hug and cookies* 
> 
> Also a lot of love to the Rock and lilly0, and all of you who have left kudos and comments <3 Thank you so much.

****_ Middle of March _

The university gallery was for once, packed full of people - they were family and friends showing their support for graduates, or design offices out scoping for fresh blood to join them.  _ Hardly surprising _ , Sho thought as he made his way around the exhibits, humming in fascination at all the design works presented. 

Of course, Sho was here for a far more specific purpose besides viewing the art pieces. 

He couldn’t help but smile goofily when he finally noticed a large group of visitors circling a platform where a very  _ familiar _ wedding dress was draped over a mannequin, a floor spotlight angled perfectly for the sequins and beads to catch and scatter its rays across the installed section walls, where a selection of Jun's other wedding dress designs - those he had made for Mai to choose - were properly mounted and displayed.    
  
After all, Jun would have used his lighting knowledge to good use.    
  
Those had taken an entire wall - each graduate had two - and the other was whatever work Jun had prepared: concert and stage management, lighting and elaborate costumes, as well as a tablet which had Jun's digital projects on them. Those themselves had roped in a fair amount of interest, but it was apparent that the dress was the main attraction of the entire floor. It was, after all, an impressive feat for someone at Jun's age to design and produce a wedding dress of that caliber.    
  
Despite the crowd, Jun seemed to be at ease as he answered questions and accepted the compliments showered upon his work, only a pink tinge in his cheeks betraying his embarrassment. Sho beamed when Jun finally noticed him, a corner of his mouth crooking up in a smile and setting Sho's heart in a series of flutters that made him doubt his age.    
  
_ Be still heart. _ Sho thought in amusement.    
  
The instant Jun was free from the other guests, Sho quickly swept in next to him and pressed a sneaky kiss at his cheek. Jun swatted at Sho's shoulder at the motion, throwing a playful glare. On the next breath, Jun leaned close to Sho's ear, and whispered, "have you seen Nino's project yet?"    
  
Sho shook his head.    
  
"You should. He's right behind mine, but I really wish I could kill him right now."   
  
Sho took the few short steps back to peek at the opposite booth... And gawked at the one entire wall that were pictures himself and Jun. Admittedly, Sho knew to expect some pictures of them after Nino’s well-timed New Year’s night: 

It was no surprise that Jun had decided to sleep over at Sho’s place that evening - the five of them (that is, Ohno, Nino, Aiba and the two) had gone out for drinks to celebrate the end of the year, and Jun was slightly inebriated after multiple drinks. After a little  _ fun _ in bed, Jun had received a call from Nino, in his half-dazed state (and Sho was quite proud of that), he had agreed to Nino’s question of:

“Do you mind helping me out for my portfolio?” 

At the sleepy hum, Nino merely cackled and thanked the pair profusely, then hung up. Jun and Sho didn’t think even twice, the former suddenly occupied by Sho with ‘Round 2’. 

Sho, however, wasn't expecting that many. Nevertheless...   
  
"...but they're really nice pictures of us though." Sho whispered conspiratorially at Jun, who merely swatted his shoulder again. 

They were very nice. Nino had somehow managed to crop or take the pictures at an angle that preserved their identities, but there were that tiny handful that was Jun leaning close to Sho's face, fingers resting ever so lightly beneath Sho's eye; of them before they were together, then afterwards, of Jun surrounded by swaths of white satin, lace pinned to the fabric as Sho leaned down to kiss him. Their faces had been artfully blurred out by what appeared to be a lace veil.   
  
"Why, yes, they are, aren't they?" Nino interjected from next to Sho, seemingly popping out of nowhere. "Since you both are the most tooth-rotting couple in the entire world. Not to mention, I am an excellent photographer.” 

Jun rolled his eyes, before turning back to his own section. Sho took the opportunity to take a better look at the pictures, eyes wide in surprise at how well taken all of them were. Clearly, the main theme of Nino’s photos was ‘Love’, a collection of candid shots of couples, with faces slightly obscured, but clear enough to read the adoration and love in their actions. 

All in all, it was a very beautiful collection. 

Sho wondered if he could ask Nino for some of their pictures, in fact. 

“Oh,” Nino murmured from next to Sho as he peeked over at Jun’s exhibit. “Looks like Jun-pon and I may be working together for the next few years.” 

Sho blinked, and then broke out in a smile when Jun turned around in stunned silence, the woman he had been talking to walking away, and a business card held in Jun’s hand.

“I…” Jun looked sharply at Sho, then at Nino, “Did you two do this?” 

Sho and Nino shook their heads slowly - Sho in confusion, Nino in smugness, and watched as Jun fumble with the business card, fingers clumsy in his disbelief, and showed it to them. Sho leaned in for a closer look:

_ ‘Lucky Bridal Studio’ _

Blinking in slight recognition, Sho recalled that Mai’s bridesmaids obtained their complementary dresses from the very same bridal studio after Jun had completed Mai’s dress. Sho hadn’t been there, but Mai had mentioned how impressed the staff had been in the studio with just the picture of Mai in completed and tailored dress. 

“I… Think I just got a job offer?” Jun’s tone was of disbelief. “Isn’t this a famous firm? Why would they want a fresh graduate like me?”

Before Sho could refute that, Nino made a sound of annoyance and lightly flicked at Jun’s head. “Oi. I received an offer as well. Are you saying I’m not good enough for them?” 

The look of dazed confusion on Jun’s face and Nino’s faux-indignant expression sent Sho into a fit of chuckles, grabbing Jun’s wrist to pull him in a short hug. 

“Congratulations, both of you. Ohno-san and Aiba-chan will be very glad to hear that.” From next to Jun, Sho gave his lover a knowing look, one that tried to relay, ‘ _ see, you had nothing to worry about _ ’. 

Despite the silence, Sho could see Jun’s cheeks turning pink once their eyes met, lips turning up in a small smile.

Sho had missed coming home to freshly cooked dinners and Jun’s warm presence since Jun left, but Jun often stayed over on the weekends. Having Jun over on some days was lovely, of course, but it made Sho even more impatient for Jun to move into Sho’s lonely apartment - something they had discussed a few weeks earlier, and was to happen after Jun graduated. 

Many things had changed in the short few months. Jun had returned to his apartment and resumed his prior schedule, attending his classes and working on Mai’s dress. Mai had taken to Jun very quickly, somehow managing to convince her in-laws to allow a ‘mere’ undergraduate student to design and produce a wedding dress that would satisfy both parties. 

(Of course, Jun was nothing but a normal student - he  _ had _ designed and created pieces for some of Japan’s famous male idols, but never for women. Nonetheless, Sho and Mai had full faith in Jun’s abilities. Mai seemed unperturbed to see Jun coming out from Sho’s bedroom that fateful morning, but further conversations with her had informed Jun that Sho had spoken to her about Jun often.) 

Christmas and New Year’s had come and gone, and as the wedding date neared in February, so had the deadline for Jun to confirm his graduation portfolio. 

After a conversation with Ohno and Jun sharing his worries with Sho (and Nino), he had decided to ask Mai if he could present her completed dress post-wedding as part of his portfolio. Grateful for his help (in ‘saving’ her wedding day and wedding nerves), Mai had agreed, proud to have the wedding dress she loved to be presented as Jun’s main showpiece. 

In the same effort of making Mai happy, Jun had also obtained the favor of Sho’s younger brother and mother, and the stiff approval from Sho’s father. 

Sho had told Jun to not expect much - he had always been expected to marry a woman from a well-established family; it had been hard on Sho’s parents to know that he preferred men (well, Jun in particular) but Sho had followed the career path his father wanted for him, and that was enough for Sho. 

Nevertheless, the wedding went smoothly, and Jun earned a lot of attention and compliments from the wedding guests once Mai let it slip that Jun had been the dress designer and maker. The event had allowed Jun to regain some of his confidence, and Sho was glad to see his mood improve greatly in the following weeks after the event. The stability the job offer provided would only help Jun further. 

Sho squeezed Jun tightly in a hug once again, ignoring Nino’s fake gagging beside them. He softly whispered, “I’m so proud of you.”

—-

“Seriously, did Nino really have to fly off before graduation?” Jun sighed, eyes glinting in annoyance as he juggled the obscene number of bouquets and presents in his arms, following Sho to his car. 

Jun’s graduation ceremony had gone off without a hitch, something Jun was grateful for. The ceremony was nothing but an optional formality for Jun to attend - or rather, optional until Nino decided to join Ohno overseas. 

He had no qualms about Nino running off to Ohno to have their own small ‘honeymoon’ of sorts, but he did not appreciate his room-mate leaving him to deal with the influx of messages, flowers and gifts from Nino’s juniors. 

(Jun hadn’t expected Nino to be this popular, really.)

“Well, at least it looks as though you are an extremely well-loved member of the university?” Sho replied in amusement, helping Jun carry his own half of graduation gifts. Jun threw him a dry look. 

“But what am I supposed to do with all of these?” Jun huffed, nodding in thanks as Sho dropped his armful of items onto the backseat of his car and moved out of the way for Jun to do the same. 

“Well, we have a really good bottle of wine we can share now that you’ve moved in to my place…”

“Where did you get that from?” Jun took a good look at the bottle Sho was gesturing towards, the bottle sitting at the foot of the passenger seat. Jun raised his eyebrows at the wine, unsure of when he had received such a good bottle. “No one gave us any wine.” 

“It’s a congratulatory gift from your old colleagues at Johnny’s. It was delivered just before I left.” 

Narrowing his eyes, Jun queried, “How did they know I’ve moved to your apartment?” 

The decision to move had been an easy one - Nino had enjoyed living with Ohno as much as Jun had enjoyed spending his time at Sho’s apartment, and vice versa. While their shared apartment held a lot of memories - both good and bad - and the two of them were going to work under the same company, it was inevitable that they would eventually leave the small student-sized apartment… Especially when they had their own partners. 

Sho scratched his hair sheepishly. “Kazama-san might have known…?” 

“From that long ago?” Jun was surprised; the last time he recalled Sho having met the man was in August - more than half a year ago - when they had gotten together. 

“Of course.” 

The thought of Sho holding affection for Jun for so long made his heart warm, body itching to kiss the man. Seeing that it was not possible to do so with Sho driving, Jun resorted to smiling himself silly. 

Despite his happy mood, Jun did not miss the blanket-lined basket in front of him. It looked oddly familiar, and as Sho took a left turn onto a road that was  _ not _ on the route back to their apartment. 

“Sho, where are we—”

“Just a short detour. Aiba-chan wanted to see you today, but he’s helping the animal shelter with an adoption drive today and asked me to bring you down. Shoko-chan will be there, he said.” 

Sho sounded amused by the mention of the dog’s name, but Jun merely perked up at the mention of the fluffy creature - he hadn’t seen her since December, when Aiba had brought her to their christmas-slash-birthday party (along with a familiar, grumpy ferret). 

“Then the basket?” Jun asked sharply, suspiciously side-eyeing him at the mention of an adoption drive. 

“He gave it to me at work yesterday?” Sho’s response was weak, only magnifying Jun’s wariness. “You’ll see why. It’s a graduation gift from him, and partially from me too. I promise it’s safe. I checked on him this morning before I came over. He’s adorable.” 

“He?” 

“Oh, well, we’re here already! I forgot it’s a short drive to the shelter. Here we go.” 

Sho hastily lowered Jun’s window, ignoring Jun’s bewildered cry of Sho’s name when Aiba appeared out of nowhere and dropped a pitch black ball of wriggling fur onto Jun’s lap with a “Congratulations! I hereby present you two your new baby.” 

“Aiba-san— Sho; what on earth—” Jun huffed, lifting the slightly claw-ing creature and looking accusingly at the sheepish pair. 

“Mreow?” Round, yellow eyes blinked at Jun, its ( _ his _ , Jun corrected himself) short ears hidden well between the long black fur to create the impression of a cute furry worm, rather than that of a kitten. The fine claws were digging slightly into Jun’s jeans, but unsheathed instantly when Jun  _ cooed _ at how adorable he was. 

“Aww… Look how adorable you two are.” Aiba crooned from outside the car. 

“This is a bad idea, you two. You know I’m bad with animals. He’ll scratch the fabrics...” Jun argued unconvincingly. 

“He likes you just fine. Look at him. He’s so cute. We thought he’d be good for you—” Sho assured, reaching out to lightly stroke the kitten’s forehead. Instantly, the dark animal hissed, baring its claws and tiny fangs at Sho, before fidgeting and curling closer into Jun’s lap. “Scary cat! You were friendly when I played with you this morning.” 

Jun blinked at the blatant display of dislike towards Sho and grinned, finding himself liking the cat more. “I’m calling him Cream.” 

“It’s black! As dark as its evil soul! It hissed at me.” Sho squawked indignantly, to which Jun and Aiba ignored as they cooed at the kitten. 

“Cream is a perfect name.” Aiba nodded alongside Jun, shooting Sho an accusatory look. “He’s only offended because you called him an it, Sho-chan. That’s not very nice.” 

“But—” 

Jun lifted Cream in front of his face and nuzzled at the pink nose. The protest died in Sho’s throat instantly, and he let out a strangled sound that was caught between an squeak and a coo. “Cute.” 

“Yes he is. But I’m blaming you if he interrupts us when we’re in bed.” Jun paused, and added after a thought, “or if he ends up playing with my clothes.” 

Sho whined, lips pursed in a pout. “Oh, so he’s mine when he does something wrong, and yours when he is an angel, is it?”

“Sounds about right, yes.” 

Aiba clapped excitedly at the exchange, reaching in to scratch Cream’s hidden ears. “This is perfect. Your parents are fighting about you already. You’re going to have a nice, loving home.” 

Cream meowed. 

—

_ A lot of months later… _

“Sakurai-sensei, I’m sorry to disturb you while you’re on your break, but you have someone here who is requesting to see you.” The new, soft-spoken nurse hesitantly knocked on the door of Sho’s office, shyly nodding in acknowledgement when Sho turned around in surprise. “He said to say his name was Matsumoto J—”

Sho waved his hand at before she could complete Jun’s name, smiling kindly at the timid nurse. “Send him in and close the door behind you, thank you.” 

She nodded meekly, and Sho turned back round to quickly straighten out his desk. Who knew what Jun was planning with this visit. 

When the door closed and footsteps echoed, Sho chose to pretend to ignore Jun’s presence until a hot, wet kiss was suddenly pressed against his carotid. 

“Sensei,” Jun purred, then spun Sho’s chair around so that they would face each other. “I think I’m suffering from a curious case of heart arrhythmia.”

Sho was unable to help the moan that escaped him at the heat Jun left behind with that short kiss. 

“ _ You’re _ going to give me cardiac arrhythmia, Jun.” Sho groaned, grabbing Jun by the waist and tugging him to straddle Sho’s lap. “Have you been speaking to Aiba-chan about awful doctor pick-up lines?”

“What can I say, you do make my heart flutter, Sho.” Jun rested his hands on Sho’s shoulders and leaned down to kiss the side of Sho’s mouth, voice cheerful. 

“I’m at work, Jun.”

“I know; But you have a private office now and it’s supposed to be your lunch break now.”

“Why are you torturing me like this?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.”

Sho snorted, tightening his grip around Jun’s hips when his lover wriggled closer. “Let me guess, Leader is at the boutique with Nino?”

Jun rolled his eyes, but made no move to deny Sho’s guess. “You think after co-starting a bridal boutique, Nino would take his job more seriously. But no – still has Ohno-san coming over on lunch for a quick hook-up over lunch.”

“And what exactly are you doing?” Sho reminded as he reached between their bodies to press at Jun’s apparent bulge.

“Taking advantage of our lunch break.”

“Minx.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a post-face (aka, author's note) left in my LJ. It is COMPLETELY optional, but if you'd like to read it, it's [here](http://cielmelodies.livejournal.com/17165.html).. Thank you for sticking with me this long.


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